To get fed up with the "can't do" attitude among girls?

[Clary]

Or is it just the girls I know?

This is on the back of DD's 8th party. we saw a film and did a film quiz and had muttering and grumbling from some guests mostly girls) - yet a similar thing for DS1's party was a huge hit with the boys really concentrating and keen.

Are girls just so cool they can't be bothered? The winner got a DVD!

Also at DS2's sporty party one of a few girls there was designated "too delicate" by her mother to do any of the sport and sat and sniffled in a corner; only 1 of the others really had a go. Have seen the same reaction from girls at a simialr party "oh no, we don't want to be doing that".

Are we really bringing girls up to think it's best to fuss about their clothes and their nails but to stand around in the playground instead of running about or playing games?

It's just got me feeling really about what they are missing out on.

From what you've written, I wonder if it is the competitive angle they are shying away from. With almost everything you've described, it is possible to perform badly (and thus embarrass yourself!) and/or 'fail'.

Do you think the girls would have been more willing to join in for a group activity where there was no competition and no 'winner' - ie, simply making or doing something together as a group?

I think girls are highly competitive. They just don't always compete on the same things as boys!

When I was that age I would have enjoyed the film quiz, however I was painfully shy which may have stopped me from answering the questions. I was horrendous at team sport activities and would have had a complete panic attack about having to take part in an organised sporting activity!

I remember at around this age a lot of boys started becoming really competitive and would have no qualms in telling the girls that they were useless. I agree with Earlybird they were perhaps to embrassed too take part in an activity where they might not do well.

"Are we really bringing girls up to think..."

Well, I'm not.

Um, I am bring my DD up to think. Just not to be a pathetic little princess as implied by the part of the quote I snipped.

I found dd and her friends grew out of the phase where you want to be organised by adults much earlier than ds and his friends. They just got to an age where they wanted to get on with their own things and
socialise on their own terms. Can't blame them really- when I meet up with my friends I want a good old natter, not to be set to play games by my hostess. It's not because I am a princess, just that I enjoy catching up.

Boys otoh...

Hmm well my DD is a bit immature at nearly 9 and frankly I like it that way, she'll have a bit of nail polish on but prefers to dress as Bodecea and run around the garden sword fighting, long may it continue.

my dd isn't very interested in clothes either and she's 12. But she does like socialising in a more adult way.

well, my dd is very competitive and likes to have a go at anything, especially if there is a prize involved

Hello all and thanks for your good points.

Feelign a bit calmer about it now (and breathe...)

It's a shame really if girls don't want to be competitive - there's a lot of it in the real world and they need to learn that!

Actually the quiz was a written one and I didn't embarrass anybody by reading out the answers - tho everybody did well anyway and the worst performer was one of the few boys there!

The thing was there was a half-hour break and nowt much to do - they are quite a writery gang and I thought this would be good. I think we are a bit beyond pass the parcel...

Maybe you are all right about organised sports - but what a shame if girls feel they can't have a go in case they fail! Some of the boys were not that sporty either (I was an unsporty child so I understand that) but at least they had a bash.

Calling a girl "delicate" in her hearing to bolster up non-taking part in sport is a nightmare.

And what's with the food? Most of the girls ate hardly anything! They are only 8 fgs!!

At my DD's recent 9th party the five girls roared round the garden for a bit, then screeched round a soft play centre for a couple of hours, came home, scarfed pizza and chips, watched Robin Hood (they left the room with cries of 'yech!' during the snogging scene), watched a film, ate popcorn, then talked and talked and talked and ... till I finally got them to shut up at about 1 am. Then they got up again, ate pancakes, whizzed round the garden one more time and, finally, went home.

A different group of children might have behaved differently at that sort of gathering, and not all children enjoy the same sort of thing, but I don't think you can characterize an entire gender based on one party. I'm with cory as far as independent socializing is concerned and it suits me fine if my main role is passing round the food.

Agree with cory. Girls like to do their own thing a lot more than boys. DD had her 10th bday recently. I took her and some friends for a meal and then they had a sleepover. Their idea of heaven was to have the front room to themselves, some food and the DVD player and her new Wii. No intervention or organisation required (or welcomed).

But I have also come across the Princessy kind of girl at DD's younger parties who makes a huge fuss when she falls over and gets her dress dirty and insists on telling me that she doesn't like this or that and that X was mean to her. As if I care! DD has dropped most of those. Can't be doing with it!