to be angry with those parents who have let down their overweight dc

[frumplump]

Overweight parents who allow their own issues to destroy their own dc's good health, what are they thinking?

I overheard a heartbreaking conversation in a shop where an awkwardly fat teenage shop assistant was dispairing at how she was wasting the best years of her life because she had not learned to eat healthily from her parents.

She was saying she had low self esteem and wanted to lose weight desperately. Teenage girls have a difficult time at the best of times, it's just plain cruelty for her parents to have allowed her to become so unhealthily big. She found walking difficult ffs! They say parents will outlive their children. What's going on? How can parents be so cruel?

Well said squilly

my kids eat an average amount of shit - they aren't obese becuase they get plenty of exercise.

If it is just the adult squilly then you are free to do what you like. As soon as you have a DC you are responsible for their eating habits. They learn by example and you owe it to the DC to ask for help.

""but if someone is overweight, uneducated, low self esteem, etc etc etc, how exactly are they suppposed to sort of the problem totally on their own?""

You don't need a degree in nutrition, or even a handful of good GCSEs and A levels to know that you look and are fat. You would have to be living on another planet not to know that help is everwhere- from in the High Street like at BOots, to your GP. How much help does anyoneneed FGS to stop putting more food into their bodies than they need, eh?

Squilly - you appear to be defending fat people and being overweight generally. You are using hte same argument that smokers do- "well we all have to die of soemthing one day".

If that is your attitude towards your health and the health of your kids, so be it- but it's not mine, and it's a no-brainer really.

Obesity kills. Full stop.

arghhh - that's the PROBLEM - many people either don't KNOW who to ask for help, or don't have the self esteem/confidence etc to do so.

It's not just obesity which some groups of people have difficulty accessing - there's a whole myriad of issues which simply CAN'T be left to each individual to sort out of for themselves and tought if they don't.

I don't mean that we need more of a nanny state, we need more outreach workers, more advocates, more family support workers - all working in the community so that those most vulnerable people (and I use the term in it's loosest sense) in our society are not left to "sort themselves out".

""Everyone dies eventually. cancer, diabetes and heart disease don't just take the fat. They take the smokers, the drinkers, the junkies, the casual drug takers and sometimes, get this, the incredibly fit! Fat is not the only passport to poor health. Drunks are often skinny as they only drink booze and don't eat meals. Smokers can often be skinny, because the nicotine suppresses the appetite. I do object to the view that fatness is the only precursor of poor health. Slim people aren't naturally healthy. This myth needs to die on the vine just as much as fat people are the only drain on the national health system.""

Squilly- maybe you ought to read some stats on cancer, diabetes, CHD and the connection with being overweight before you spout this nonsense.

mrsmerryweather - there is a link between personal, social and emotional well being - it only takes one of those cogs to be out of place for problems to arise.

I'm a reasonably well educated woman who was fortunate enough to have mother who cooked from scratch, her own veg and taught me to cook. I also have enough confidence to ask for help if I need it.

HOWEVER

I can't remember the last time I went into Boots - and it's just occured to me that I don't know how to contact the school nurse (now DS1 has moved on from HV "care") should I need to.

I do agree that it is an absolute disgrace to allow your child to become overweight. However, what i do disagree with and object to in the OP is that it is only overweight parent's who produce overweight children. That is nonsense. I work as a school nurse and neglect of this kind affects, shock horror, even the offspring of the beautiful and successful at private school!

and the rest of the post should read something along the lines of so if I (in quite a fortunate position really) am incredibly lucky. There are so many factors stacked against lower income families - that obesity added in can makes things even harder.

So it is true then. It's not my paranoia. All you skinny people do spend all day inwardly sneering at me.

I have no idea if this article is true

1970s diet

But it states that adults consumed 800 calories more per day in the 1970s, compared with now, but were a lot slimmer.

They did, however, move around more. A family owning 2 cars was unusual then. Children had much freedom. Nowadays, because of a perceived threat of paedophilia and worry about traffic accidents children are not allowed out to play. Children are like battery hens - fatter but not as happy.

What about skinny parents with fat kids, like my parents? Are they OK then?

Are fat parents with skinny kids to be applauded? waits expectantly for the applause

children should never be overweight - doesn't matter what size the adults are.

"As for the class element in all this, I read somewhere that part of the problem is that working class people, especially men, used to have physically demanding jobs, so they could get away with fried breakfasts, etc. Now those jobs have largely gone, but the eating habits remain."

I watched a time team where one of them was a Navvy for the day (Risehill tunnel). The amount he had to eat was ridiculous but he was also doing a stupid amount of hard graft.

shithappens
I couldnt give a monkeys what size you are. I do care about the next generation though

Interesting how anorexia attracts great and delicate sympathy, and morbid obesity self-righteous judgement.

My 16 mth old dd would definately be described as chubby so I suppose people like those who have commented on this thread will look at her and assume she has a poor diet.

However she put on all her excess weight in the first 6 months of her life when she was exclusively breastfed (as and when she wanted admittedly).

Judging people on face value says alot more abut the judger than the judgee (as it were).

Riven ""I didn't know anyone in the 70's or early 80's who had a car. We didn't. My mu would catch the bus to the town centre to do shopping and bring it back on the bus. Yet people today claim this is 'impossible'""

Surely you mean the 1930s? Where on earth did you live?

I was working and lving away from home in the 70s- with my own car- and bought my 1st car in 1973 when I was a student.

I've always struggled with my weight- I love food, and I love eating, but I've always managed to keep a fair handle on it. When I was pregnant with dd1, I decided to relax and eat what I liked and I wsa HUGE! Didn't hit me until after she was born that, no, it WASN'T "all baby", as I had tried to kid myself! I couldn't stand being so overweight- I was uncomfortable, clothes pinched, moving was more awkward: there was no way I could live like that. Now I don't have great self-esteem, and have really had lots of ups and downs with my weight over the years, but there was no question that I wouldn't lose the weight- I had to, because I was so uncomfortable.

I was also determined that my kids (especially my girls) would grow up slim and healthy and without hang-ups, so I don't "diet", I do eat smaller portions, and they aren't aware when I am trying to lose a bit of weight. We all do lots of exercise, and the kids eat fairly healthily, although there are no forbidden foods in our house. But the point is that, having been fat, and knowing how uncomfortable and horrible it feels, I really hate seeing little kids who are very overweight. Yes, it does make me sad and maybe a little angry, because they are suffering and will suffer more at the hands of bullies and with their self-esteem in later life. You can argue that the parents "don't know any better" but that really is a cop-out, is it not? It's surely not rocket science to understand these days that being hugely overweight is not healthy, and to try to do something for your child. I am better at restricting my kids diet than my own, because my sense of responsibility to them is stronger than my own particular willpower Also, my love for them would propel me into taking action if they were becoming overweight.

I see it at work, where owners refuse to accept that their pet is overweight, and become quite aggressive when we try to point it out and offer them help. I see fat 3 yo dogs puffing around like 15 yo's. it IS cruel. people don't mean it to be cruel, and they are not intentionally cruel, but it IS cruel all the same. And as for blame, I do think this is one where the parents have to step up and take responsibility. I feed my children. I decide what snacks/ treats/ meals they are allowed. there is LOADS of help out there for people, lots of people who are desperate to help and will not judge. I know what people are saying about fat parents having self-esteem issues, and I feel sympathy for them, I really do. But surely when it is your child, you don't want them to fall into the same traps and that in itself would give you the motivation and courage to get the help they need?

Nobody is talking about babies Onestroke.

I'm just saying mrsmerryweather that fat people are not the only people who die of cancer, diabetes, etc.

My dad was fit as a flea, 6ft 5 and still looking like an ageing stuntman (ie lean and muscley) but he'd smoked since he was 14 and he died of cancer.

My mum is overweight because she's immobile due to major breathing problems, caused by being a smoker for the majority of her life. She was slim for the majority of her life as nicotine stemmed her hunger. Now she's overweight because she had to stop smoking and moving. She will undoubtedly die soon, overweight, another statistic for the mill. The underlying factors will never be considered.

Fat = disesase is not the only equation. How many of these obese people smoked as well? Drank as well? Statistics will only go so far in identifying problems. They often miss underlying causes.

IAnd my friends dad died last month, out of the blue, whilst training for his 20th marathon. It was heart disease. He was healthy and slim to all outward appearances.

I repeat again. Fat is not the only cause of illness. THAT's not nonsense.

If you exclude fat people from certain medical routines you have to do the same with people who drink or smoke or take drugs.

And yes, shithappens. From the tone of these posts it would appear that people do inwardly sneer at you for being overweight. Perhaps you should sneer back at the smokers, drinkers and drug users? But you probably have compassion, something which is clearly lacking in some of the posters on this thread.

I look after my family fine, thank you. My dd is like I was at her age, she's slim and tall and eats an incredibly healthy diet for the majority of the time. She eats junk occasionally. She exercises regularly. She has a great body image and a great sense of self. That's what's important to me as a parent.

She never has, however, and hopefully never will, look down her nose at people who are fat. Because a little judging is exactly what these people need. NOT!

My dad had a car but my mum couldn't drive so we walked everywhere.