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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have experienced my first ever car park rage today?

20 replies

Delirium · 26/06/2009 19:54

So I am fairly chilled when it comes to car parks, I like to think of it as Zen. If I get a P&T space, great, but if I don't I'm not gonna stress over it!

I was at Tesco today and it was rammed, the car park was really busy and there was 1 P&T space left. I saw a car get into it, and the guy who got out was an elderly chap with a walking stick. The car in front of me stopped, and a woman got out and - I assume - demanded he move as he didn't have a child with him. The guy pointed out his blue badge and there was much gesticulating towards the (all full) disabled bays. She was being very aggressive and rude and I saw red, got out of my car and told her that she should bloody move, she could easily walk but this gentleman clearly needed the space more than either of us. The words, "Just walk, you lazy bint," may have crossed my lips.

Anyway, she drove off and I did too. The elderly man was very embarrassed, but did thank me. The whole thing got me really riled. Very unlike me, but the woman was bullying the man for no other reason than she could. What happened to trying to make other people's lives a bit easier?

OP posts:
melpomene · 26/06/2009 19:55

yanbu

Rindercella · 26/06/2009 19:56

Bloody good on you!

YANBU

lucky1979 · 26/06/2009 19:57

YANBU.
Good for you in fact.

Thunderduck · 26/06/2009 19:58

Good for you.

plonker · 26/06/2009 20:00

YANBU!

Nice one!

Original poster
Delirium · 26/06/2009 20:01

I was a bit gruff with the old man though - when he thanked me I said, "No need - it shouldn't have been an issue." We were both embarrassed, the whole thing felt terribly un-English.

OP posts:
JetLi · 26/06/2009 20:10

Well done you

Boys2mam · 26/06/2009 20:19

It drives me mad when people without kids use the p&t spaces but I'm v impressed that you stood up to the sillybint-- woman.

I'm still in the back of my mind thinking but its for toddlers and not her fault the disabled spaces were all took up. I would have groaned this to myself and not given the guy a gobfullpiece of my mind, then told myself I was being a pita.

YANBU

Boys2mam · 26/06/2009 20:20

Doh

silly bint woman

icedgemsrock · 26/06/2009 20:25

good for you for speaking out.... but does that mean that if all the p & t places are full then we can park in the disabled?

Original poster
Delirium · 26/06/2009 20:33

Of course not, icedgems. Why would having a child equate to having a disability? The P&T spaces are there as a convenience, and disabled spaces are there by law. At this particular Tesco there are nearly double the number of P&T spaces to disabled spaces, which is absurd.

IMO they should put all the P&T spaces at the far end of the car park - I don't need to be close to the entrance but the wider space is useful for wrestling putting ds in and out of his car seat!

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 26/06/2009 20:39

Well done! She sounds like a nasty bully.

I get very waxy about the idle so and sos at our local supermarket who want to use the cash point so park right beside the store because obviously it would be far too much hard work to park in the car park and actually walk 50 paces.

icedgem: I don't think it's quite comparable. P & T spaces are a nice convenience when getting in and out of the car but most peoplae would manage pefectly OK without them. I am not sure the same could be said about disabled spaces.

word · 26/06/2009 20:43

Oh, come on, Icedgems - it's hardly the same!

Delirium - good on you for using your common sense and daring to stand up for this poor chap.

IMO, the P&T should be placed somewhere which doesn't involve crossing a road to get to the store, or tucked away from the main traffic going through the car park. I also think they should make a point of NOT clearing all the baby trollies away from near these spaces, too - isn't it easier to be able to leave them in the car, within view, while you get the trolley alone, rather that lug baby/carseat/stropping toddler/reusable bags etc into the store?

word · 26/06/2009 20:45

trollies (ahem).

word · 26/06/2009 20:46

Oh, fgs. TROLL - EYS.

I do no how to spel. Honestlie.

Original poster
Delirium · 26/06/2009 20:53

Lol, I leave my kids in the car all the time - poor little sods!! It's just not an option to drag ds (2.5) and dd (17 weeks) across the car park to get a trolley. If I'm only doing a little shop then I put ds on reins and dd in the sling and get ds to carry a basket!!

I agree that P&T spaces should be less attractive - I do get a teeeeeeeeeny bit annoyed when I see blokes in sports cars with no visible children parking in P&T spaces, but then I think perhaps they have a hidden disability, or their wife is in the supermarket with the children. And the car seats. Yeah.

Well, keeps my blood pressure low anyway!!

OP posts:
readyfornumber2and3 · 26/06/2009 20:56

Fair play to you.

My Mother is disabled and I know how hard it is for her to walk from the car park to the shop,I have a 3 year old DS and am 31 weeks pregnant with twins so also understand the need for p and t spaces

But I would always willing give up a p and t space for a disabled person.

I just wish they wouldnt put the p and t spaces right outside the store, for me its about having the extra space thats important not being right outside the store

80sMum · 26/06/2009 20:59

Oh dear, all this talk of "P&T spaces!" I'm guessing that means parent and something; parent and toddler?

Just be grateful they exist at all! When ds and dd were babies/toddlers such car park spaces were unheard of - in fact there wasn't even a carpark next to the shops. Carparks were invariably at the opposite end of the town to the shop you wanted to go to, as sod's law would usually dictate.

Disabled spaces were thought quite revolutionary when they were introduced; people would have laughed at the suggestion of parent spaces, it being assumed that most parents of young children are relatively young and fit and perfectly capable of walking a few yards to the shops.

That's my "grumpy old woman" beef over with. Back to the ironing ...

bosch · 26/06/2009 21:00

Am amazed at this discussion, would never have occurred to me to be less then cross if I saw a disabled driver using a P and T space. Obviously wouldn't actually say anything, only cross in a very proper middle class way you know.

I shall smile sweetly next time and think about this thread. Thank you, it's been a revelation.

verygreenlawn · 26/06/2009 21:07

Our local supermarket has disabled spaces right next to the shop, then P and T spaces quite a distance away, so I don't think this situation would arise. The only advantage of the P and T spaces is the extra space either side for getting baby seats in and out. I use them if I have ds3 with me as he's still in a baby car seat, not if I have ds1 and ds2 with me (6 and 5).

It's common courtesy to allow someone with greater need to use the P and T spaces. As someone else said, they're a bonus and not an entitlement (IMO). Good for you for saying something.

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