To object to an old lady telling my DS1 to shut up!

[Tryharder]

DS1 (4) and I went swimming this afternoon. It's a swimming pool of a members only gym and members' children are only allowed to swim between 2pm and 5pm. So it can get quite noisy and splashy with all the kids but that's only to be expected.

As it was, there were hardly any other people there this afternoon probably due to the nice weather. DS1 was being a bit noisy and splashy but was genuinely enjoying himself and playing in the water (he's only just learned to swim)

There was an elderly lady swimming on the other side of the pool in a section cordoned off for people who want to do laps so DS1 was definitely not getting in her way or splashing her. DS1 was talking to me about something when she raised her head and said in the nastiest tone possible "shut up!". I couldn't believe it. I said to her "don't tell him to shut up - if you want a quiet swim then don't come in the children's swimming time" or words to that effect.

But in hindsight, I'm fuming and wish I'd said something a bit harsher. Poor DS1 - he looked so shocked and dismayed and he was being such a good boy and trying his best to swim well.

yanbu. She was there at the wrong time and TBH I think it is pretty bad manners to tell anyone to "shut up". You can ask people - politely- to be quieter and that would be more acceptable.

Grumpy cow - she is going to enjoy the summer holidays, children everywhere

yanbu. What a rude person.

I have recently come to the concusion that old people are really mean so this does not suprise me and no you ANBU

Wishing the foul woman a verruca, right now!

evil

YANBU. How rude. Silly old bag.

I think it can help to use these situations to explain to kids that just because someone is a grown up, does not mean they are clever, or nice. It's a shame they have to learn this but it is a lesson well learned imo as it helps them to understand the world that bit better.

I know when a similar thing happened to DS, he found it very helpful to think that not all adults are clever. It helped him to realise why the person was so weird!

dont worry if she was that old she is in the departure lounge of life, take solace in the knowledge she will die soon- sad miserable old cow!!

YANBU and even if your DS was being a total terror (I know he wasnt!) it isn't her place to tell him to shut up, incredibly rude and potentially very upsetting to a young child

Why do you wish you'd said something harsher? You were polite but forthright - you have the moral high ground. A slanging match in the pool would have been undignified and not great for your DS to hear. You got it about right I should have thought.

YANBU. A similar thing happened to my dd once and I was fuming too. Why can't they just ask politely instead of shouting?

And you can bet that she'll be one of those old people that love to complain that the youth of today have no manners, etc, etc, etc....!

I agree-always better to be very polite and keep the high moral ground-it shows her up.

YANBU - What a Cowbag!

Oooh - YANBU. Well done for saying what you did, I would have been too shocked then wishing I'd said something for the next week.

Well, old lady really doesn't have a leg to stand on however I am really sensitive to noise and especially in a swimming pool where the noise echos all around so on a certain level I can empathise (although not with the rude behaviour she displayed).

After all, to you, DS was having a happy time & you were enjoying watching him have fun.

To her, he's just another noisy brat spoiling her nice quiet swim. And at her age, she can't be a*sed to be polite about it any more. Plus she may not really be aware of children's swimming times.

Therefore although I don't condone her rudeness I can understand her irritation.

You are right, FallenMadonna, it was best to remain calm and I am glad that I didn't get involved in a slanging match. I am not confrontational or aggressive by nature and hate things like this. Both my DCs are quite "cute" and usually old people are flocking to pat them on the cheek that sort of thing.

But thanks for all the support ladies!

Was it the David Lloyd?

Nasty bag of loose skin.

Not David Lloyd, Nuffield Health (formerly Cannons)

Of course YANBU. She was totally rude and out of order. I would have complained to the manager as well and told her so.

But could everyone else have a stop and think about whether the nasty vitriolic ageism on this thread really does you any favours?

Generalising about people just because they are old and wishing them dead sooner is just horrific. Would you wish this on your own mother? And how about you: won't be so long till you're old and saggy and hated, ignored and derided by young people for making them feel scared about their own fear of death.

By BBisfinallyPG on Fri 26-Jun-09 19:27:43
[...] take solace in the knowledge she will die soon

Bloody hell, that's a little harsh isn't it?

YANBU - horrible old bat. Suprprising really how many old folks really are nasty old beggars.

Well I'm quite saggy already so that excuses me!

Big lol, junglist1.

did she say anything back to you?

I think you were harsh enough tbh.