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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To object to an old lady telling my DS1 to shut up!

66 replies

Tryharder · 26/06/2009 19:14

DS1 (4) and I went swimming this afternoon. It's a swimming pool of a members only gym and members' children are only allowed to swim between 2pm and 5pm. So it can get quite noisy and splashy with all the kids but that's only to be expected.

As it was, there were hardly any other people there this afternoon probably due to the nice weather. DS1 was being a bit noisy and splashy but was genuinely enjoying himself and playing in the water (he's only just learned to swim)

There was an elderly lady swimming on the other side of the pool in a section cordoned off for people who want to do laps so DS1 was definitely not getting in her way or splashing her. DS1 was talking to me about something when she raised her head and said in the nastiest tone possible "shut up!". I couldn't believe it. I said to her "don't tell him to shut up - if you want a quiet swim then don't come in the children's swimming time" or words to that effect.

But in hindsight, I'm fuming and wish I'd said something a bit harsher. Poor DS1 - he looked so shocked and dismayed and he was being such a good boy and trying his best to swim well.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 26/06/2009 20:47

Bloody hell! Sorry for your DS and all that but some of the comments are really vile

I am not looking forward to being old if that is how some people regard them.

seeker · 26/06/2009 20:48

I would be entirely on your side if it wasn't for the "old" in the title. Why does it matter how old she was?

You won't always be young and beautiful, you know!

Remotew · 26/06/2009 20:55

Agree Seeker, there before the grace of god go I. Guess you were just illustrating the scene. I pictured a white haired, loose skinned lady.

YANBU she deserved to be put in her place. You kept it dignified and vented on here.

TinyPawz · 26/06/2009 20:57

The ghetto girl in me would have responded with 'Fuck Off'

Cheeky mare, I'm furious for you.... I think old ladies/men lose the run of themselves just becuase they think they can

seeker · 26/06/2009 20:57

Casual ageism is so normal - no one ever seems to object.

LupusinaLlamasuit · 26/06/2009 20:59

I didn't think the OP was being horrid, only using the world old in the title as an identifier. Though that in itself is evidence of ingrained ageism. It was more the responses.

I suspect it will be illegal soon, like racism or sexism. I certainly hope so.

OrmIrian · 26/06/2009 21:07

No the OP wasn't. But some of the responses were.

junglist1 · 26/06/2009 21:07

You're right, it's not the age it's the rudeness towards a child that matters.

Remotew · 26/06/2009 21:08

I hope so too as I'm getting on a bit myself. Won't be cantancorus(sp??)to little ones.

Would elderly lady have been acceptable.

seeker · 26/06/2009 21:36

Old is better than elderly according to my 89 year old mum. But just woman is better. The age is usually irrelevant. Certainly was in this case.

Original poster
Tryharder · 26/06/2009 22:48

Actually, the fact that the lady was "elderly" made me more considered in my response to her. Had she been "young", I certainly would have responded more robustly.

And no, she didn't reply when I "told her off" so to speak. She just swam off....

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 26/06/2009 22:54

i spect she is on Granset just now, saying I am so fed up with noisy children when i am off for a relaxing swim. so i soon told her, how dare she be there with her child anyway.. she shoudl be at home sewing. pah. in my day

Kimi · 26/06/2009 22:56

YANBU how rude.
Why are old people so bloody rude?
I was walking along yesterday with my bike, I was not riding it I was walking with it to cross the road when this old sod shouts at me "get that bike off the pavement" Now if I had been riding it on the pavement fair play but I was walking pushing it.

I told him to fuck off

SlartyBartFast · 26/06/2009 22:56

tut tut kimi

cornsilk · 26/06/2009 22:58

That happened to me when I took ds2 swimming at the gym when he was smaller. Wonder if it's the same woman?

Kimi · 26/06/2009 23:00

SBF I did have a major hypo an hour later so I am blaming low blood sugar

LupusinaLlamasuit · 26/06/2009 23:00

So would it be ok to say oooh the ageist twonks on this thread, they're so fucking thick and ill-educated?

No. Why? Because it is generalising nonsense.

But if you do need a dictionary to look up generalising: You. Can. Find. One. In. A. Library...

hester · 26/06/2009 23:03

YANBU but I find some of these posts really unpleasant.

2shoes · 26/06/2009 23:03

pmsl at kinmi
complaining someone is rude and swearing at them

Chilimama · 26/06/2009 23:03

YANBU - What she said was rude and uncalled for, no matter how old she was.

I think some people just don't have a lot of tolerance with children, we had a similar experience recently but the person in question young(ish) man.

Kimi · 26/06/2009 23:05

Need sugar need sugar

TinyPawz · 26/06/2009 23:05

I don'tthik my comment was ageist....I would have said the same to anyone who told my lo t 'shut up'

simplesusan · 26/06/2009 23:12

If she didn't want to be inconvenienced with the noise made by children splashing, then she shouldn't be swimming during family time. Either put up with it or don't swim then. Full stop.

YANBU

Gangle · 26/06/2009 23:49

To be honest, kids swim time is a pretty long time! At ours it's a 1 hour slot each day. So maybe it's hard for her to find a time to go when it's kid free. Sounds like he was making a bit of a racket and was probably quite irritating so don't blame her although she could have been politer about it. Lots of rude people about though, especially on mumsnet.

BBisfinallyPG · 27/06/2009 10:41

oh look at me offending you all!! first time for everything i suppose...

just goes to show you intonation and character do not come out in the typed word...ho hum... i was not actually being wholely serious... i can assure you i dont go round pushing old ladies over or the like so chill your boots... it was a joke, intended in the spirit to make the op feel light amusment at the cantanckerous old baggages comments rather than resentment.... and FWIW yes if i were a old misery guts i wouldnt be adverse to people telling me to fark orf, and as for wishing my mother dead uh no i'd have a hard job both my parents are already dead, a nicely timed personal comment if ever i read one...

honestly people what is with you? I was kidding yet its acceptable for other posters to post that they're glad people are dead etc.... all of you on the old people = rights to be rude side of the fence are making allowances for a minority of rude old fuckers, if not every old person acts like this why should it be taken with a pinch of salt???