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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a Dr's note in my maiden name ?

78 replies

whereeverIlaymyhat · 26/06/2009 16:29

Asked to be signed off for a week on Monday morning, to have IVF this week. Asked for it to be in my maiden name and not to mention IVF at all. I do not want work to know I am married or trying for a baby as I would be sacked.
I've gone in to collect it today.
In the name of Mrs xyz and for gyno procedure, am steaming did not need this crap today.

OP posts:
Worzsel · 26/06/2009 16:30

You would be sacked for being married and wanting a baby..

wherer on earth do you work ?

Ledodgy · 26/06/2009 16:32

Surely a 'Gyno procedure' could be anything and not related to IVF or pregnancy? Also it is against the law to sack someone for the reasons you state.

aGalChangedHerName · 26/06/2009 16:32

A doctor can't lie tho can they? Where do you work?

Hulababy · 26/06/2009 16:32

Why would you be sacked? It would e unfair dismissal surely? It would be illegal.

Are doctors allowed to write a sick note for you in a different name? Are you registered with the hospital/doctor in your married name or maiden name? If former I would have assumed a doctor's note would have to be in the registered name.

Gynae procedure could mean anything - doesn't have to mean IVF.

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 26/06/2009 16:37

They wouldn't sack me for that reason they'd think of something else and I haven't been there for a year so wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
I guess if they'd said on monday no we can't do that I'd have come up with a plan B as it is today I'm f*ed on Monday.

OP posts:
fattybumbum · 26/06/2009 16:39

Dear God, where do you work?

stillstanding · 26/06/2009 16:39

Agree with hulababy - unlikely dr is allowed to give letter in another name as that name could be anyone. Wouldn't worry about gynae procedure either although I agree not ideal.

Hulababy · 26/06/2009 16:40

I still don't get it.

Why would being married lead to you being sacked?

Why would having "gynae treatment" lead to you being sacked?

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 26/06/2009 16:41

It's on my medical records I used to be Miss xyz I'm nont asking for a random name to be made up

OP posts:
Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 26/06/2009 16:43

I work in an office of 20 year olds and have seen them sack somebody for being pregnant, not that that was the reason given of course she was given an area where she couldn't possibly hit target and then they sacked her for that.

OP posts:
leonifay · 26/06/2009 16:50

is the xyz your maden name? if so, you could pass it off as a mistake, doc must have been distracted or something
gyne procedure could really be anything, if they really want to know more (which they shouldnt do) you can say you have a problem with your periods, or that your having an investigative procedure done because you find having sex difficult!
that may put them off asking more questions?

Twims · 26/06/2009 16:53

You seriously think that your job would be at risk by people finding out your married?

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 26/06/2009 16:54

The trouble is I had to come up with something on Monday when I found out I was going in for treatment so I said an "investigation", I really can't go suggesting anything to do with fanjo's, pregnancy or babies.
I just can't believe with the week i've had they couldn't cut me some slack or if they really felt they couldn't I would have dealt with it differently on Monday rather than letting me worry all weekend now

OP posts:
McSnail · 26/06/2009 16:56

But loads of people have already pointed out that a 'Gyno procedure' could be anything. Nothing to do with babies.

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 26/06/2009 17:00

I guess I just wanted fannies kept out of it and made that clear on the Monday, "surgery" would have been fine and just as accurate.

OP posts:
leonifay · 26/06/2009 17:01

you can say its a gynee investigation, which doc would have put down as a procedure anyway (about a year ago i had some gyne investication done, and it was put down as a procedure) they really wouldnt have expected you to say gyne investigation would they? it really doesnt suggest babies or pregnancy.

McSnail · 26/06/2009 17:01

Mm. Don't know what you can do relly. Surgeries tend to be closed at the weekend. Sorry you're feeling so stressed. Can you phone in sick on Monday, get an emergency appt, and ask for the doctor's note to be revised? A long shot, but I can't think of anything else.

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 26/06/2009 17:03

Do you need to hand it in on Monday? Tell them you will send it in on Tuesday instead and appeal to the Doctor today/Monday. I suppose your married name is now your legal name, so the Doctor could be an arse about it.

I would ring the Dr and say "Oh I understand how terribly busy you are, but could you please change this to my maiden name as that is the name I am employed under - I knooooow - all this red tape is daft..."

I also can understand how you would be got rid of. It's very inconvenient to a business, but that's life eh!

Good luck with the IVF.

aendr · 26/06/2009 17:04

I'd also wonder about patient confidentiality and comfort. Even knowing it's a gynae procedure could be too much information given out for some people. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with some colleagues knowing I was having my period, let alone anything even more personal! Also changing your surname on marriage is only convention and you still are legally entitled to use your maiden name. You are therefore perfectly entitled to request a note which (a) uses the name you use professionally and (b) does not mention that the procedure is gynae.

Unfortunately, it's probably too late now as it's gone 5 on a Friday.

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 26/06/2009 17:08

Also, if it were me reading it I wouldn't assume "Gynae" meant IVF at all. It covers a lot of stuff!

myredcardigan · 26/06/2009 17:17

The IVF is one thing but why would they sack you if they knew you were married?

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 26/06/2009 17:19

TBH working at such a place to cause you so much stress isn't going to be conducive for IVF to work.

nickelbabe · 26/06/2009 17:20

RWT to It'sallabitnoisy: "I would ring the Dr and say "Oh I understand how terribly busy you are, but could you please change this to my maiden name as that is the name I am employed under - I knooooow - all this red tape is daft..." "
I agree with that theory.

Plus, under the doctor/patient confidentiality laws, your employer has no right to know anything about what procedure you're having anyway.

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/06/2009 20:40

i am really puzzled why you cant tell work you are married?

i wouldnt think that gnyo would mean ivf - more like " female " problems

though tbh it would have been nice for doctor just to say you need a week off, but maybe they need to give a reason and cant lie and say twisted wrist etc

have to say thou, ivf is very stressful and sounds to me that your job/work is stressful and all this lying cant make it easy for you

good luck

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2009 20:59

If you are off for a week, you have to self-cert I believe, any longer you need a dr note. So just ask the recptionist for a self cert form.
If work whinge about that, change your name with your drs, then get a note written in your new name, then change your name with your docs again. Pain in the ass but really simple. Its one phonecall to change your name with your doc, no id is needed.