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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a Dr's note in my maiden name ?

78 replies

whereeverIlaymyhat · 26/06/2009 16:29

Asked to be signed off for a week on Monday morning, to have IVF this week. Asked for it to be in my maiden name and not to mention IVF at all. I do not want work to know I am married or trying for a baby as I would be sacked.
I've gone in to collect it today.
In the name of Mrs xyz and for gyno procedure, am steaming did not need this crap today.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 27/06/2009 09:57

You must have known there would be trouble so it seems a bit daft changing your name on half your things (your bank account / pension scheme must all be in your maiden name, and your passport/driving licence if you use them for work). You'd be better off sticking to your maiden name for EVERYTHING. I suggest you change EVERYTHING to your maiden name immediately and ask the GP to re-issue the note.

I don't see how you are keeping your marriage a secret though - isn't your husband named on your pension scheme and your next-of-kin records?

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 09:58

Oh well all irrevelvant now had a letter through this morning sacking me

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 27/06/2009 10:03

oh no what possible reason have they given

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 10:05

My absence for the past 5 days, I have no contract of employment, they have said they will pay me to the end of the month but that's that
TBH I suspect being pregnant and working there would have been hell on earth so am not too sad, but with the IVF failing too this is the end of a very shitty week.

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 27/06/2009 10:10

I don't understand why you don't have a contract of employment? was it just a temp job then and I thought you were going for IVF, have you had some already?

am so sorry

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 10:15

No not a temp job at all they are just very disorganised but I had only been there 4 weeks.
I had egg collection this week and developed OHSS where your ovaries basically increase in size and can be fatal if not controlled through shed loads of water, like 3/4 litres a day, plus it's really painful so no way could I have gone in this week.
I don't think there's much I can do about it though, at least I hadn't arranged childcare for the summer and paid deposits.

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 27/06/2009 10:25

oh am so sorry - what a bunch of gits

dizzydixies · 27/06/2009 10:26

can you at least tell us who you married now then?!?

McSnail · 27/06/2009 10:27

Or why being married was such a problem? (sorry - v. nosey)

As for losing your job, they sound like total cnuts.

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 10:28

Lol it's nobody exciting it's just he's very well known within the industry we work for and nobody wants to employ the competitors wife which is annoying when you were good at your job before you ever met him and couldn't work for him.

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 27/06/2009 10:29

ah whereeverIlaymyhat you always leave us wanting more

McSnail · 27/06/2009 10:50

Well... perhaps you'll have a better chance of conceiving now that the stress of that horrible-sounding job has been removed (albeit through sacking, which is gash. )

2rebecca · 27/06/2009 10:55

It is illegal to lie on a med 3. You can be vague but not lie. Gyne procedure is probably as vague as you can legally get. A legal certificate should be in your legal name.
Put your anger where it belongs, with your employer, not your doctor. If you just need a week off you could self cert anyway so they don't have to give you any certificates.

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 11:05

As I said before I didn't ask them to lie, there was no need to mention where on my body these procedures were to take place at all was there ?
In light of the current situation it doesn't matter but bearing in mind that Dr's freely hand out notes left right and centre according to other threads I've read on here frankly a little slack would not have hurt and would not have been untruthful.

OP posts:
bamboostalks · 27/06/2009 11:29

Really sorry to hear about your OHSS. Am on my second IVF cycle so know what a horrible time it is anyway, soooo stressful. Also have not told my work.
Hopefully, they are able to freeze so you can have an ET without the hideous stimming.

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 13:23

I have 11 in the freezer so am in a good position for next time am finding it very hard to be positive right now and somehow knew last week would be the final nail in the coffin. Oh well things can only get better right ?

OP posts:
edam · 27/06/2009 14:00

May be worth looking on the ACAS website to see whether they have gone through all the correct statutory procedures - it's possible they have fucked up (never heard of a firm sacking someone for a week off sick).

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 14:14

They haven't gone through any procedures what so ever.
I left the office last Friday with a smile and wave from everybody.
Last night the other girls in the office were told I was leaving (found that out today) and a letter arrived this morning stating services were no longer required.
No mention of poor performance, no warnings at all.
I suspect though that due to only just starting with the company I haven't a leg to stand on

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 27/06/2009 14:40

sorry to hear you lost your job

maybe go and work for your dh company, so you wont be in competion?

good luck with ivf xx

edam · 27/06/2009 15:05

Possibly, but worth checking it out - google ACAS or look at the govt. websites. All the employment law used to be on there - try Department for Business or www.tiger.gov.uk.

Thing is, employers have to go through certain statutory procedures to dismiss anyone, but there may be get out clauses if it's a probationary period. However, your guys sound aggressive/clueless enough to just brazen it out - so maybe they have fucked up and no-one has ever pulled them up on it.

MadameDefarge · 27/06/2009 15:05

wherever, that is just awful. I second blonde, do call ACAS. Often if you start the process of going to tribunal they will back down and at least give you a decent settlement. Maybe its not the kind of stress you need right now, but at least you can make the decision, not them.

best of luck.

Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 15:08

Well this is the thing, as I've never received any documentation beyond the offer letter, therefore surely there's no probation period ?
I think I'll give the CBA a ring on Monday.
Thanks for the kind words/advice

OP posts:
Original poster
whereeverIlaymyhat · 27/06/2009 15:11

Ah just remembered my offer letter is in the office, however i have keys to the office, could i go and get it without getting into trouble ?

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 27/06/2009 15:15

probably not, tbh, but you are entitled to request that a person you nominate clears your desk of any personal items, and that they are delivered to you. Also, I think that if they try to keep the offer letter, they then have no documentation relating to you, and so you have the full back of of legal process, because there is no contract, or stated expectations, that they could use against you. It actually puts you in the strongest position possible!

MadameDefarge · 27/06/2009 15:20

However (sorry to go into two posts!) they can sack you in the first year without giving any reason at all, UNLESS it constitutes racial or sexual discrimination. I would def check with ACAS as a first port of call, as they are immediately available on the phone, unlike CAB. Sacking someone for being sick (if that is there reason) I think is also unfair dismissal, but do double check that.

what bastards.

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