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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think sometimes mumsnet sucks

137 replies

VeraDuckworthsHandbag · 26/06/2009 10:44

Now I know it is just a bunch of people on the WWW but in the time I have been on here I have been given some great advice, seen others given great advice , and support, and hope and friendship and on the whole I think most people here are decent.
I know everyone is different and everyone has the right to their own point of view but sometimes just sometimes it gets so hypercritical I could scream.

A mumsnetter who's husband is having an affair is joined in the Other woman bashing, but a mums netter who is about to embark on or is having an affair is given support.

A person who has a husband or partner going to jail is given support and of course he is judged innocent

Then there is the great mumsnet get out of jail free card depression.

But when it really becomes quite sick is on days like today when someone in the public eye dies and holier then thou posters start dancing on the grave.

All you people bashing Micheal Jackson today should be ashamed as he was never convicted of anything, there was no proof he had done anything wrong but in true Jade goody style it starts and people show their sick side.
Everyone thinking he was a perv, can you hand on heart say your partner has NEVER looked at something child related on the internet? Now as you all say not my man just think about it, you do not know.

How do you know when a mumsnetter comes on and says their partner /parent what ever has died and we all go so sorry thinking of you, that that dead person was a good person? You don't but you say sorry for the familys loss.

The same people who have a go today will be the ones who say "oh no you can't hang people" the sort that defend pond scum like Sharon Matthews mother because she was "depressed" or stick up for the dirty fat bitch on wifeswap cause "it is sociality to blame that she was too lazy to get her fat arse out of bed and feed her child anythink better then crisp and not hers"

In the rush to be the most PC person on the board you lose sight of the truth, and sometimes the truth is not PC.

If MJ had been married to a mumsnetter the threads today would be so so different, and anyone who thinks not is deluded

OP posts:
FabBakerGirlIsBack · 26/06/2009 11:03

At the risk of giving Vera the attention she wants - you are truly vile.

GhostOfPsychomum5 · 26/06/2009 11:05

mumsnet does suck at times, I completely agree.

it sucks when you are posting!!!

cheesesarnie · 26/06/2009 11:05

i have re read op and think i first read it wrong.i thought it was a nice post saying how every ones being judgy on mn today.

BitOfFun · 26/06/2009 11:06

Very sensible and measured reply, OrmIrian. Suwoo, beautifully put

wolfnipplechips · 26/06/2009 11:08

I've never seen a topic where all posters agree and in regards to the wife swap lady there was a thread on it the other day and most people were horrified by her.

In regards to your satement about child pornography, then i think i can honestly say that nobody can ever be positive but my dh works from home we both use the same computer and i'm pretty sure i know him well enough to know that he would NEVER look at child pornography.

smallorange · 26/06/2009 11:12

Well I think MJ lost it around 'Bad' but Off The Wall was great ...oh sorry, wrong thread.

Pinkjenny · 26/06/2009 11:12

I wouldn't even dignify that stupid comment with a response. For the love of God, people.

Madmentalbint · 26/06/2009 11:15

If you think that men looking at child porn is in some way normal behaviour then you need help. What a ridiculous and vile statement.

smallorange · 26/06/2009 11:20

The whole thread is stupid

ThePhantomPlopper · 26/06/2009 11:22

I've had to re-read your post a few times OP. I thought you must have worded it wrong.

But clearly you are just a loon and a vile one at that.

Original poster
VeraDuckworthsHandbag · 26/06/2009 11:27

I was in NO WAY saying looking at child porn is normal, anything like that is SICK and I am not saying otherwise.

I know someone who was married to a lovely bloke great husband great dad, until she found out he had looked at photos on the net of naked children, she left him.
If you had ever asked he if she thought her DH would ever look at such things, she would have bet her life that he would not.

What I was trying to say (all be it badly) is that mumsnet has double standard, and when mumsnetter come on and say something, help, advice, support is given reguardless of what we know about that person, and if someone judges it is jumped on as wrong, We do not know the truth about Michael Jackson and all that needed to be said was so sad for his family and that be it

OP posts:
FabBakerGirlIsBack · 26/06/2009 11:28

Why do you care?

Pennies · 26/06/2009 11:30

Vera - this is mumsnet. All human life is here. THAT's why you get differences of opinion. Live with it.

Sycamoretreeisvile · 26/06/2009 11:35

OP, I'm just wondering why you wanted to add to the inevitable slew of MJ threads today.

I'm already so frikkin' over it.

Your comments about depression are more offensive than anything you have postured and complained about.

MN is an open public forum, not a tea party for you mates. You can't dictate terms, get over it! People out there will have different views and attitudes to you and are entitled to them.

This is a place of support for mostly women. So what if we decide to support women through whatever they post (or flame them) that's our choice. You don't get to moralise over it, sorry.

As in life, on MN, you have to take the rough with the smooth.

Lulumama · 26/06/2009 11:36

come on vera, out yourself !!

AMumInScotland · 26/06/2009 11:41

Seriously, are you saying that when someone comes on here and posts about their own situation, they always get unanimous support?! I don't think so... many posts get flamed.

So the idea that we are somehow treating this one issue much more harshly than we would an MNer is a joke.

If someone came on and said their OH had died, of course we'd offer them our sympathy for their feelings. We wouldn't suddenly start to say their OH had been a great person if we'd previously posted very different opinions of him.

And how many of us could say, hand on heart, that our husband isn't an axe murderer?

jumpingbeans · 26/06/2009 11:45

Some are so far up their own arses, they are in great danger of turning inside out.

orangehead · 26/06/2009 11:48

I agree partly with op, sometimes mm can have double standards, but like everyone has pointed that because of the vast amount of people posting. Not everyone can agree on everything.
The comment 'can you hand on heart say your partner has NEVER looked at something child related on the internet? Now as you all say not my man just think about it, you do not know.' Is a bit . I think I understand what you saying, I was married to a man for 7 years. He was leading a double life, not as bad as your friend. But it was a shock I never saw that coming. It does happen, but I think it was worded badly.
Tbh I dont understand the 'great mumsnet get out of jail free card depression.'

Sycamoretreeisvile · 26/06/2009 11:53

HOw can you say MN has double standards?

What you really mean is people have different opinions.

You can only say double standards if you are talking about specific MNetters who say one thing one week and another the next.

Unless you have evidence of this, all you're really saying is that people on MN as in life have different opinions, coloured by their own life experience, and probably how well they know or like whoever has done the OP.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 26/06/2009 11:55

DP this can only be you...

ginnny · 26/06/2009 12:01

What rubbish Vera!
The beauty of MN and other forums is that you get a variety of opinions on each subject. If everyone had the same opinion on every subject there would be no point in having internet forums would there
"can you hand on heart say your partner has NEVER looked at something child related on the internet? Now as you all say not my man just think about it, you do not know."
Well I DO know. He hasn't and wouldn't! Nor would any man I know for that matter. What a ridiculous comment. Its very shocking what happened to your friend, but that doesn't make all men potential paedophiles.
And as for depression as a "get out of jail free card" there are lots of posters on here suffering from terrible depression who will take offense at that statement. Its not an 'excuse' its an illness and shouldn't be belittled.

Boco · 26/06/2009 12:07

I don't really understand your point. You seem to be complaining that mn is too PC when it should be less PC, but you're cross that people are being judgmental about MJ when they should be more PC? So you're complaining that it's hypocritical is that it? But you'd rather everyone was less PC about some things, and more about others? You might have to specify on each thread the level of PC that is acceptable to you as I'm a bit confused.

Luckily, MN is not one amorphous consciousness that thinks and acts together on every topic.

MmeLindt · 26/06/2009 12:09

What a strange OP.

You know, the same question can be posed by two different posters on different days and the answers will be extremely different. Sometimes MN (and life) just goes off on a tangent. It depends who happens to be online that day.

LoveBeingAMummy · 26/06/2009 12:13

Yes, YABU

expatinscotland · 26/06/2009 12:15

'DP this can only be you...'

Ah, I see I wasn't the only one who thought this, especially after reading the depression-as-a-get-out-of-jail-free card.