Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To expect men to stand and give up theie seat for a pregnant woman??

90 replies

mosschops30 · 25/06/2009 16:55

dh thinks AIBU and says it wouldnt cross his mind think he's winding me up though, cos he would prob offer his seat to a non-pg woman!

Went to ante-natal clinic today, long row of chairs along the wall, single mums and couples, we walked right to the end but no chairs so stood.
Not one man sat nearby offered (and the two closest were with their pg partners). In the end someone was called and I said to dh 'shall we sit down there seeing as none of these gentlemen have offered their seat'?

So AIBU and just an old fashioned idiot? I would give up my seat anywhere for a pg woman, or woman with toddler or elderly or disabled people.
Is it just me?

OP posts:

ABetaDad · 27/06/2009 21:23

Yes of course a man should stand up for a pregnant woman and especially at a clinic.

When DW was 8 months pregnant with DS2 and on crutches with SPD we had to go to the STD clinic and of course I let her sit down.

CilC · 27/06/2009 22:11

No brainer really...yes they should offer. Happened to me and I just waddled over and said that the seat was mine. My DH has also given up his seat without me even prodding him!

hellywobs · 28/06/2009 19:07

Unless men are disabled, ill or have some other condition which means they need to sit down, OF COURSE they should give up their seat to a non-pg woman. So should a non-pg woman!

hellywobs · 28/06/2009 19:07

Sorry I meant they should give up their seat to a pg woman!

hellywobs · 28/06/2009 19:08

Mind you, any man who offers his seat to me on a train or a bus will always find me accept very gratefully, despite not being ill or pg, just lazy and disliking standing up on crowded trains and buses!

ElenorRigby · 28/06/2009 19:09

Any able bodied adult regardless of gender should give up their seat for someone who needs it more than them IMO.

louii · 28/06/2009 21:36

My DP would have just told them to shift so i could sit down.
He would always offer a seat to someone who needed it more.

missmem · 29/06/2009 11:50

First and foremost these clinics are for the baby and the babies inside the mum so these men showed be ashamed of themselves! Rant over!

mayorquimby · 29/06/2009 11:55

as should any non-pregnant woman who may have been there (just for baance like )

mayorquimby · 29/06/2009 11:56

*balance

steviesgirl · 29/06/2009 12:20

YANBU. I had a lady give her seat up for me once in the doctors pharmacy, whilst we were waiting for our prescriptions, because I was holding my dd who was 1 at the time. She appreciated the fact that holding young children can get heavy after a while! If she could give her seat up for me, then there is absolutely no excuse for those blokes not to get up off their comfy seats and offer it to a pregant lady.

AuntieMaggie · 29/06/2009 12:57

YANBU in this circumstance

However please be careful in judging people who haven't offered you their seat - they might look young fit and healthy but might not be.

I've been the victim of snide remarks for not giving up my seat on a bus in the past and more recently for taking up too much room (well if you're gonna sit next to a fat gal you ain't gonna have much room) and it's not very nice. Being a quiet little mouse it's embarrassing and make me even more self conscious about myself and my condition.

Belgianchocolates · 29/06/2009 13:22

YANBU. In ANC yuo could have to wait for a long time. Standing for a long time while pg can in a way be worse than walking for a long time. You probably are in need of a seat more than some of those men.

I had spd in my last preg and was on crutches. One of the worst times was when I took dc1&2 for their swimming lessons and no one stood up to offer me a seat even though they could see I was heavily pregnant and on crutches. Some people sat there staring at me. In the end the oldest person in the room gave up his seat. He was somewhere in his 60's while there were plenty 30-40 somethings there.

RunningFaery · 29/06/2009 19:58

Men giving up their seats is the least of my current pregnant worries. A delightful gentleman told me the other day that "he didn't care that I was pregnant, he would still smash my face in."
The joys of being a barmaid.
I never expect to be given a seat because I am a pessimist. If I felt I really needed one, I would ask someone politely if they would mind moving.

BoffinMum · 29/06/2009 22:24

I went to a school play whilst being 9 months pg and having absolutely dreadful SPD. I could not manage to get my wheelchair out of the car alone, so had to struggle in on crutches with my eyes watering with the pain. Various parents just watched me drag myself up to the seats at the back of the hall. I made to sit down on the nearest one, and some bloke said "I'm saving that one for my wife". I then shuffled over to the next one only to be told something similar. I had to go all the way to the back row and perch in the corner. The first guy then came up to me and said in a loud voice "What have you done to your leg?" he said this three or four times. I just said "Never mind" and swore to myself to drive over him in my car on the way home.

This behaviour was typical for this school and was a factor in me pulling DS2 out and sending him somewhere more friendly. But what shits they all were!

Flip

1 2 3 4