To expect men to stand and give up theie seat for a pregnant woman??

[mosschops30]

dh thinks AIBU and says it wouldnt cross his mind think he's winding me up though, cos he would prob offer his seat to a non-pg woman!

Went to ante-natal clinic today, long row of chairs along the wall, single mums and couples, we walked right to the end but no chairs so stood.
Not one man sat nearby offered (and the two closest were with their pg partners). In the end someone was called and I said to dh 'shall we sit down there seeing as none of these gentlemen have offered their seat'?

So AIBU and just an old fashioned idiot? I would give up my seat anywhere for a pg woman, or woman with toddler or elderly or disabled people.
Is it just me?

sorry am at work and that didn't make sense entirely but you get my drift

Yes. Men should give up their seats for pregnant women, in the same way non-pregnant women should give their seats up for pregnant women.

In short, it's a courtesy extended to someone who needs a set more than you do for whatever reason.

Crikey spice that trumps the ops experience and really takes the biscuit.

Absolutely shamefully appalling behaviour.

YANBU. Our ante-natal clinc actually has a sign that says the chairs are for patients and must be given up to them if clinic is busy. There is a scary receptionist who enforces the rule as well!

I was on the train to work at 30 weeks. It was packed but I didn't feel up to asking for seat. When one next to me became free I was pushed out of the way by a middle aged woman. I asked very politely if I could have the seat given that I was heavily pg and she had in fact got on the train after me. She looked at me like I was something she had stood in and said that she had a long journey to work and wanted a seat. I was gobsmacked but a very nice bloke further down the carriage heard the resulting tirade and offered me a seat.

I always keep an eye out for someone who may need a seat more than me so agree that it is something everyone in good health should do. In an ante-natal clinic the onus is definitely on the men though!

LovelyTinofSpam - the assumption that most of the pg women had driven to the clinic was due to the fact that the car park is always over-packed and most people i talk to look appalled when i tell them the amount of walking i did when pg!

And in my opinion there must be much fitter people than me, too (just in case there's someone who decides to come and prove me entirely wrong and actually ran a full marathon whilst 8 months pregnant or something!)

I would say definitely not BU. It is uncomfortable being pregnant at the best of times and I do believe in old fashioned chivalry. A strong fit man can easily stand whereas a woman who is obviously pregnant is usually in reasonably late stages and will usually feel uncomfortable.

godzilla not trying to start a ruck! Just that I would be a bit if a healthy male refused to give me a seat in the ante-natal clinic on the basis that he had walked 45 mins (which isn't very long really) and I had probably driven.

Which I know your DH didn't do - but you know what I mean...

Lol...i wasn't arguing either...you'd know it if i was because i'd have done the typing equivalent of kick something inanimate - which is exactly what i did in RL yesterday with no shoes on (said inanimate object was a kitchen unit) and had a very painful toe for the rest of the day. Very stupid. Don't do it.

well, at an antenatal clinic, I think even men should have the awareness of pregnancy and effects off pg...so...YANBU...tbh, I htink generally it is basic courtesy to offer a seat to anyone who looks like they are in more need of it...and that goes for either sex...and when pg, unless chosing to stand, one should assume that being seated is the preferable position

What if it was a one-legged 60 year old man who'd walked 45 mins...then could he keep his seat?

Profiterole, just checked out your profile, as wondered if you live in the same area as me ....although you mention big city, so probably not, lol...but anyway....as I looked I encountered that beautyful cake...wow...

I would give his expectant partner some sympathetic looks!

that is an amazing first try you got talent

Hm...your description doesn't ring any bell...but am rubbish at guessing...but, I think Corby (which is where am) for the size of it, possibly has the highest rate of teenage pg's in teh UK...indeed, I think I saw something in the papers just stating that (and we all know if it is in the papers it's true )

Being a stroppy ex-teacher I just smile and make sure I get a seat if I need it (I have got a not very obvious but painful disability), and if there's someone else in need of a seat I use my teacher voice and arrange for something to happen to help them so it's fairer all round. All those years of managing lunch queues were not in vain.

You are not being unreasonable. Unpregnant women or men should have stood.

I remember on tubes and trains people clocking my bump and then looking away quickly (so they didn't have to offer their seats? )

Profiterole, I do agree with you...tbh, the rudest things I have experienced in the UK all happened when visiting london....and I must admit that that has really put me off the place...generally I rather poke my eye out than visit london, lol
(but I do know there are some fabulous mumsnetters that live in London and it's just because I have not met them that I feel that way )

I am going to wave my London flag as I find people are really very kind at helping me up and down steps on the tube and generally were pretty good at giving up their seat on the tube for me. I find young women tend to be the least helpful/unwilling to move. Hahaha - you wait, is what I tell myself

YANBU When I was in the day room before I had my CS with ds4 there were several men sitting and several nine months pregnant women standing. One MW was fab. She called out very loudly "Will some gentlemen stand please so the PREGNANT LADIES can sit down!"
They all got up shamefadedly!

YANBU if you can't get a seat when pregnant in an antenatal clinic you wont get one anywhere!

why dont you ask for seat?? some people not sure if you want it.

Quite shocked that not one man stood up for you but more surprised that not one pregnant partner nudged their man to stand up.

DH would always stand for a pg woman as he would for someone elderly, disabled or even a child (have seen him do all and I would do the same). Tis basic good manners.

I have seen signs up in AN clinics and early miscarriage units about giving up seats for women and was always saddened that they even needed to be there.

YADNBU, next time pick a likely target stand in front of him and say "I'm sorry do you think I could sit down please my pubic bone is separating as we speak, my piles are murder and I'm incontinent if I stand for more than 5 minutes, thanks"