or is it okay to use the stair gate to keep my children in the lounge rather than rampaging around the house?

[dcoppack]

I have been doing this for about a year to stop my very boisterous 2 year old from wrecking the place every time I need to do some work. (I'm a WAHM) is it "mean" to do this. She seems to play nicely in there but I sometimes feel I ought to be reading her Richard Scary books (which I do, but just not all day) By wrecking the place I mean just the usual, toilet rolls down loos, scribbling on walls and the like.

Quite obviously YANBU.

I don't think it's cruel if she's happy and your happy. I don't do it with mine because I get more peace when he is making a mess, but I don't really mind.
You have to do whatever you're happy with and whatever gets you through the days

YANBU
So long as she has toys and is not left alone, I can't see the problem.
I have a stairgate on the top and bottom of my stairs and a stairgate on the kitchen door.
They are not allowed to be alone upstairs and they are not allowed in the kitchen alone.
They have the hall and the living room to play in. The living room has toys in a playpen (door is tied open , playpen is just a giant toybox). I can't see how this is mean as I am with them.

Littleboyblue. I sometimes do that too, mainly in the garden though. There is nothing that she enjoys more than making mud pies and playing with snails. I can't believe she is a girl.

No, perfectly reasonable.

Thanks for putting mind at ease. Some of my NCT friends seem to follow their children round all day doing activities with them. I can't sustain that kind of activity.

YANBU!!! I have done the very same thing when DD was younger. We only recently removed it tho because we found we weren't needing to shut it any more. The moment she starts being a demon tho it'll go straight back on!! ;)

No dcoppack @ you NCT friends. I am a firm believer in encouraging independence. My ds1 is 22 months and out of all the children of a similar age we know, he is the only one who isn't bothered if his mum's in the room or not. At playgroup, if I leave the room, he'll spot me and yell "bye-bye" across the room! All the other lo's scream when their carer pops to the loo.
I have friends that have their dc's playing at their feet at all times, not saying there's anything wrong with that, but would drive me crazy!
Each to their own though

YANBU, I have very same thing in my house for DD 16 months. We also have one at the bottom of the stairs. She either has living room or run of hallway and living room depending on what I am doing. As a fellow WAHM, sometimes you just have to do stuff.

YANBU I think this sounds perfectly reasonable, and safe. I do the same. Although my mother told me I should take off my stair-gates from the stairs, but I said no cos that would mean ds would be able to go upstairs when I didnt know he was, and i'd be worried he'd fall down the stairs. her comment was "so you go upstairs with him every time?" and I said yes. she also said he was bound to fall down the stairs at sometime or another. which i didnt find an acceptable answer. plus if he did fall and i wasnt there to stop him him would smack his head on the beauru at the bottom of the stairs. also I said i didnt like the idea of him going into my bedroom and she said "well why dont you put the stair-gate on your bedroom?"

YANBU - I'd reinforce what other people are saying about independence here. I had my children in the 1970's and I did a similar thing to you - it was still the done thing to use playpens then - anyway I was told by various 'people who knew better' that I was encouraging anarchy and it wasn't safe and I'd be sorry when it all went wrong. It didn't. In the end you have to go with what feels right for you and your children.