new parents i met yesterday with 4 day old baby

[iateallthecreameggsyummy]

Was slightly and at this so aibu??

Couple came into restaurant yesterday with a tiny new born baby. Of course me expecting my own I asked the parents if i could have a look, said how cute he was etc and asked how old he was. Mum said he was born on Saterday, i commented how great he was being fast asleep looking so adorable! The dad then tells me 'well he's been a little the past 2 days!' I just commented 'oh well he's only a few days old' and left them to it.

Was not juding them that on way home from hospital (she still had wrist band on) they'd popped in for a fry up she probably needed it but at being a little s**t the past couple days

I guess it's all in how we read the original comment. I suspect I was swayed by the things the OP said about him later.

I think YAB a bit U.. I'm expecting my first and it's been a rough pregnancy .. by the some of the posts on here I need to be giving my baby away the instant it appears as I am clearly going to be an aggressive, appallingly bad mother for in times of pain and desperation these last few months OH & I have referred to it as TheParasite !

I can't even begin to judge that man.

i didn't lurk at their table gazing at the baby for 20 minutes lmao i meerly asked if i could have a look, i didn't prod the baby on touch his teeny weeny little hands or anything daft lol.(but they were so teeny and cute!!)

Stannie i think i said above maybe i was being abu combined with pregnancy hormones although its no excuse.

and at no point did i say they were bad parents nor did i make a judgmental comment about them, i only said i felt a bit and . So stannie dont be daft about people thinking you should give your baby away soon as its born! I'm sure no one thinks that!

I will judge too.

What a sad thing to say about a newborn baby.

I will judge further. The dad thinks the baby has some control over his 'little shit-edness'. He is anticipating his babies cries as being shit-worthy behaviour.

When this baby cried, the dad wasn't thinking 'my baby is hungry or uncomfortable and can't tell me what he needs.'

He was thinking 'there goes the baby, being a little shit again.'

He may pick the baby up and feed it or change its nappy. But the baby is still being a little shit for needing those things.

When your three year old defys you, or your nine year old won't go to bed, you assume they have some level of awareness and are being deliberately willful. You may - (I wouldn't actually as it goes, so call me holier than thou, I don't care) - then call them 'a little shit' because their actions are deliberate and against your wishes.

A newborn baby's actions may be against your wishes, but they are not deliberate. The baby is not setting out to be a little shit.

but merry the baby was fast asleep not even crying

YANBU.
I've had not nice words run through my mind many a time, and have even uttered expletives outloud in the home when at the end of my tether.
However, i would never decribe my baby or child in such a negative way to a complete stranger. Nor, would dh.

If the tone was mean I would have felt sad about it too.

Stannie, I often referrer to DS1 (only to DP) as The Parasite during pregnancy.
Of course I adored him the second he came out. As I'm sure you will too.

If the father has referred to a tantrumming toddler as a little sh*t, we could all nod our heads and say, aye, I've been there, I know exactly how you feel.
The difference is this was a four-day-old baby

Agree completely Merrylegs. When DS was tiny I felt like we'd been sent home from the hospital with some delicate exotic animal. When he cried or was out of sorts - that's just what they do. It was up to me to deal with it. I'm not saying I never got upset or frustrated, of course I did - but it was with the situation / with DH for not helping out / with the MW for not answering the phone (for example in the last two cases) / with myself for not knowing what was wrong. Babies cry - assuming they're doing it out of naughtiness is worthy of judgement IMO. Obviously there's a cut off point, my 2yo is quite caable of being wilfully naughty Not sure when that is but it's well above the 4 day point!

I refered to my unborn child as a little sod the other day as it spent an entire meeting kicking me when I was trying to concentrate. Would you consider that to be bad as well? I had a smile on my face when I said it if that helps things?

Exactly Merrylegs. When my kids cried in those early days I used to get flustered trying to decide what they needed to make them stop crying - and it was myself I was frustrated with at not knowing how to calm them. The last thing on my mind would be to think that they were being little shits.

It is very sad.

Hear hear Merrylegs. Completely agree.

I suspect that your depth of understanding might be wasted on some of the "What's wrong with calling a 4 day old a little shit" brigade, but still, for those who can see the finer points, it was a point very well made.

I've called DS a lot worse. When it feels like someone is slamming your nipple in a door whilst simultaneously slicing at the tip with a razor, it's surprising how hostile you can get.

Don't think it necessarily means any lack of love. Probably more a lack of sleep.

I remember standing outside the hospital room with DS crying inside (as he did for the first 48 hours almost without stopping to come up for air) and telling concerned passers by that 'he is just going to have to learn to self soothe cos I can't take it any more'

I didn't realise at the time but that was probably when my PND really kicked in.

Not something I every thought I would hear myself say and I can see what you are saying merrylegs, but perhaps it's a reflection of a tired, frustrated, helpless feeling new parent who feels a failure and doesn't know what to do or say to make his new family ok again. Hopefully they will settle into things with time and he'll be as embarrassed at his comment I am now about mine, or perhaps it's a cry for help.

...of course he could also just be a nasty piece of work.

It sounds like he is blaming the baby for the fact his life has changed when it isn't the baby's fault at all.

sorry for non replies was at work so didnt abandon my thread

YBslightlyU

Maybe that's just his personality, it's mine. I lways say my ds's are being little sods, they are 22 months and 4 months, but at the end of the day, they can be little sods, I'm not saying it's their fault or that I don't love or like them, just that they are sods!
If you asked me how I slept last night, I'd tell you that ds2 was being a little git and was awake all night, but it is said with love iyswim.......

lol yes i do see what you mean.

There is a Little Shit at DD's school.

He is four years old.

'Pick up your bag, Little Shit'
"Watch where you're walking, Little Shit,' his dad says, while rolling his eyes and making the goofy 'kids, eh?' face at everyone.

One day I will pluck up the courage to ask him (he is a Big Bloke) -"What an unusual name. I bet when he was born you thought, ah he looks just like a Little Shit."

No doubt when Little Shit grows up he will call his first born Little Shit.

It being a family name and all.

Oh please. My child has been called 'rotten child' in the womb and now out. It is totally said with affection. Its a mild way to get out some frustration, especially when they are that young (my son is 2 weeks old today). The baby will never remember.

The only reason I don't call him a little shit is because I am trying to curb my language around him in general, since I tend to swear like a truck driver.

Me too Tee. Ds1 spilt some squash the other day and yelled "oh duck" Like I said, h is a sod!!