What would you do?

[TheLadyEvenstar]

ok bit of background here.

my dad was married previously when he was 16yrs old. He and his wife split and after 5 years he lost contact with his 2 children from that marriage. to cut a long story short my "brother" contacted me before xmas asking if we could meet to which i said yes.

He stayed with me for 5 hours and at the end of it said he could never see us sitting down as a family....fine by me iyswim?

However via me he made contact with my sister and mum, he has continued contact with my sister but not mum or I. I sent him an email over a week ago asking how he his children and wife were and whether they had any plans for his daughters birthday. I have not recieved a reply. My problems begin here.

My nephews birthday is the day after my nieces birthday, now i know that arrangements have been made for us "all" to go to the coast for the day.
I feel like it is going to be very uncomfortable for me as he cannot even be bothered to reply to my emails even though he emails my sister almost daily, I also feel she is partly to blame as when I had ds2 baptised I did not invite him as my brother who i grew up with was more important for being there, if that makes sense. But she went and told him nonetheless.

I do not want to let my nephew down as he is my baby ( my sister had 5 miscarriages before she had him and he is so special to me) BUT i don't want to be in an uncomfortable situation with my 2 children iyswim?

What should I do?

MrsJammi, that would be easy, but he and my sister are not related iyswim?

It will be uncomfortable as

1- he doesn't want his children knowing we are related...his dd and I are the image of eachother and his ds and my ds1 are as well.

and

2- if he cannot reply to an email how on earth is the day going to go if he cannot talk to me?

MrsJammi, I don't know tbh

I am hurt because I was the one who heard dad talk about his ds and dd they are now 44 and 42. Dad died 6 years ago and yet it took him until last december to look for him......

Hi, I have to say, what mrsjammi said about a crush occurred to me as well. The advice to try and think of him as a friend of your sister is good, but even in those circs. it would be awkward.

I think you have no choice, though, but to go. Just try and rise above. YOU are not the one who should be feeling bad. IMO, he is behaving a bit oddly. If it really is a terrible day, then I'd maybe avoid this type of situation in the future.

Something else occurs (sorry if I am wide of the mark):

Did your dad ever look for his son, and do you know how his son felt about his dad?

If this man is in any way resentful, I am wondering if he is maybe playing divisive games

Sorry about your dad's death.

Screaming until he was 16 my dad sent him cards and gifts, we find out now that he never recieved them....

I wrote to him every year on his b'day, christmas, easter etc and no reply ever because they never made it to him.

What a sad situation for your "brother". And it seems you have gone to a lot of effort to try and include him in your life.

How are you feeling about the party now ?

You should go, for your nephew's sake. And because all this will get a lot more awkward if you don't.