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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think ..

20 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 17:45

That DS1 is being subjected to nastiness
from a teacher???

His class have been away for a week but I would not let him go anyway they came back friday evening. Today panda eyes (the teacher has white patches where she had her sunglasses on) was back at school. Lo and Behold one of the children (her "favourite" as every class member says) goes to her and says "DS1 just swore at me for no reason"
She goes and takes ds1 out of the class and says to him

"you made a comment to R can you tell me what you said"
he said
"Yes I told him he was an idiot"
she then shouts at him
"No No No No that is not what you said he has told me what you said and that was not it"

Ds1 asked her to tell him what he was meant to have said and she said
"I am not telling you, YOU tell me what you said"

He repeated again he had called the boy an idiot in retaliation for what he had said but she won't believe him. She has told him he will NOT be be having lunchtime until he gets to secondary school, that he will be lucky if anyone misses him when they are leaving and that she will be sending a bad report to his secondary.

Now I am not under any illusion that he is an angel however I know that as annoying as he can be towards me he would not swear as he knows this carries a big punishment with me.

OP posts:

Sassyfrassy · 22/06/2009 17:48

If that is how she talked to him it sounds very unproffesional and perhaps you should take it up with the head. From how you write about her it sounds like you've had issues before though and perhaps you don't have a very good working relationship, something children are quick to catch up on and can sometimes use to their advantage. Not saying your ds did, but perhaps something to bear in mind.

ilove · 22/06/2009 17:49

Why didn't you let him go on his residential?

cocolepew · 22/06/2009 17:51

Was it your son being bullied so terribly? If so I would say you are right in thinking this about his teacher. She never seemed to put her arse in a cramp helping him before.

I hope things are better for him.

sb6699 · 22/06/2009 17:52

In all honesty I thought you were over-reacting, that was until I got to:

"he will NOT be having lunchtime until he gets to secondary school, that he will be lucky if anyone misses him when they are leaving and that she will be sending a bad report to his secondary".

WTF is that all about? Especially the part about nobody missing him.

YANBU!

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 17:56

ilove, the reason he didn't go is because he has been bullied a lot and all but 1 of the 6 bullies went on the trip.

Sassy I have only ever been pleasent and polite to her and about her. The last time a child accussed ds1 of saying something she reacted the same way and then the boy admitted he had lied to get ds1 in trouble.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 17:58

Sb, bearing in mind she is 34 and he is 10....I really feel she has major issues with him. There have been other things..for example when they did their sats he finished one test in less time, she stood in front of a group of pupils and said to him "well you finished that much too quick you have done it wrong, i already checked so thats a fail"

OP posts:

Sassyfrassy · 22/06/2009 17:59

Fair enough TheLadyEvenstar. In that case I think you should definately take it up with the head. I'm a primary teacher and would not dream of speaking to a pupil in that way and if I heard a colleague do so would not hesitate to take it further.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 18:03

Sassy, I have tried to arm him with confidence but to be honest since going into yr 6 i have seen it dwindle away, even when the bullying was at its worse he had confidence in himself.
ROLL ON 17 JULY!!!

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sb6699 · 22/06/2009 18:32

Telling a child nobody will miss them is a comment specifically intended to hurt and dent their self-confidence.

As Sassy mentioned, I would speak to the head. Your ds might be leaving soon, but no doubt some other poor child will become a victim of her viscious tongue.

Hope your ds as a wonderful experience of secondary school.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 19:09

I feel like keeping him off until he starts secondary tbh

OP posts:

EccentricaGallumbits · 22/06/2009 19:12

If you can keep him off then i'd be sorely tempted to. that teacher sounds like a nasty bully. What does the head say? have you met head at all?

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 19:19

Ecc, I have known the head since I was a child as my mum has worked at the school for 27 years. even she says this is a big part of the problem with the said teacher.

TBH I have got to the point now where I want to tell her exactly what I think about her lol but am waiting until the last day and then i will.

OP posts:

EccentricaGallumbits · 22/06/2009 19:27

Have you written it down? You don't want to get to the last day and forget.

your poor little DS though. Perhaps he could come down with a nasty virus for a couple of weeks?

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 19:37

Ecc, he has a got d & v for a couple of days as of 8am tomorrow.

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posieparker · 22/06/2009 19:40

Very very strange on many levels.
I think you should have dealt with the bullying issue and not let your ds miss out on the trip, surely the bully should have stayed home so your ds would not be excluded even more.
It's strange for any adult not to favour an under dog.
I would get a meeting with the head in the morning, no later and don't make an appointment go at 9am.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 20:05

Posie, the "bully" is a group of 10 pupils in the class. The school have been aware of this for 3 years or more. To date they have seemed to only sweep it under the carpet even when I kept him off of school for almost a month and another time (recently) got the police involved.

Posie, what do you class as the underdog? he is top of the class in all subjects bar math and there he is in the top set.

I suppose the fact that I have only ever known him hit back once (again recently) makes him an underdog.

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littleducks · 22/06/2009 20:13

id keep him off as long as he wont regret going to any special end of year/leaving things

posieparker · 22/06/2009 20:13

Sorry I read 1 of the 6, not all but one.
I mean the teacher sounds like a super bitch for 'joining in' the bullying and not sticking up for your son. It's human nature to look out for the underdog, especially if you're a teacher.
I think this has gone on long enough, what about the local press... you don't have to name your son. There's ofsted aswell, they should be notified.
I meant underdog as he's being bullied.

Pushingonthrough · 22/06/2009 20:45

The teacher sounds like a horrendous bully herself. As if your ds1 hasn't been through enough already - I'm fuming for you

You must take it up with the school - The womans behaviour could be so damaging. She really shouldn't be teaching if she thinks that's an appropriate way to deal with children.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/06/2009 21:01

oh atm she is so up herself as she has just got married and if you get her name wrong she goes balistic to remind you of it....hmmmmm roll on 17th july when he finishes and I can call her by her single name just to get her to tell me to do it right then I can tell her what I think

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