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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend is an idiot?

99 replies

mustardseed · 21/06/2009 11:37

Went to a charity do at our local social club last night. Lots of people we know there, and their children, including one friend (will call her Sue) and her ex H Bill. Bill is on the club committee. Since they separated (about a year ago) Sue doesnt go to the club regularly, though obviously Bill does, but does still attend events etc.

So last night towards the end of the evening Sue gets chatting to someone (none of us knew him, think he's a friend/relative of one of the members) and they are quite obviously flirting with each other. Bill sees this, gets upset, goes over and pulls the man outside where they have a fight. My DH and a few of the others have to pull them apart. Man's wife then turns up, threatens to call police etc and get Bill arrested, is yelling he will go to prison and won't see his DC etc.

All the children (who are outside so see all of this) get upset because they all like Bill and don't want him to go to prison. His DC are in tears.

Eventually the man persuades his wife there's no need for the police & they leave.

We give Bill and the DC a lift, they are all still upset. He will probaby have to resign from committee now which is a shame as he does a great job.

Sue apologised to everyone before she left for what happened, & has already text me this morning to say sorry, & how awful she feels. I haven't replied to her yet as am still too annoyed with her for upsetting everyone like this. I think she's been really stupid, and has ruined a great night, lost her ExH his post, distressed everyone's DC including her own, and got some man she doesnt even know beaten up.

I feel like telling her she's an idiot. I'm not even sure if I can speak to her, and am thinking of taking DC to school by car tomorrow to try and avoid her on the school run, thats how cross I am!

so AIBU?

OP posts:
catinthehat2 · 21/06/2009 14:07

Reality -
am with you yet again.

catinthehat2 · 21/06/2009 14:10

Is this a golf club by any chance?

Seem to remember something about this going on at Christmas.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 21/06/2009 14:21

So when you split up with a man, you must not move on because you must protect his feelings? Bugger that. So she must not be seen with another man? What ever? or for a year? 2 years? 5 years? How long before she can safely let her EX see another man in her life?

She's not his property and his feelings are his own problem. He was 100% in the wrong.

Kimi · 21/06/2009 17:04

Is Sue going to get in to a bitch slapping contest with Bills other woman now?
Bit of tit for tat?

BitOfFun · 21/06/2009 17:19

Kimi for Quote Of The Week?

sweetfall · 21/06/2009 17:28

She is not responsible for Bill being a twat.

If they are separated she has the right to flirt and talk with other men.

The only people at fault are

  1. the man who was flirting with her. His wife was there ffs.

  2. Bill for resorting to violence in a jealous rage which he does not have the right to have

  3. OP for being a journalist / attempted short story writer (?)

.. ok I'm not sure of the last one, but seriously did this really happen?

PuppyMonkey · 21/06/2009 17:33

Sounds like everyone was really pissed anyway.

lockets · 21/06/2009 17:36

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Message withdrawn

mustardseed · 21/06/2009 17:44

Katisha - Sue & Bill have joint custody of their DC who are both in junior school. The other children there when all this happened - including my own - are similar ages.

Cat - no its not a golf club, nothing so posh as that!

Sweetfall - this really did happen, I dont think I could make it up.

The whole incident has shown me a side to Bill that I dont think any of us knew existed (except Sue perhaps). Feel quite about it all actually.

OP posts:
dittany · 21/06/2009 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany · 21/06/2009 17:50

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blinder · 21/06/2009 18:12

Oh mustard - I'm glad you are taking on board people's opinions. Sue did NOTHING wrong. The men show themselves to be either lying or violent.

Hope you realise your knee-jerk reaction was sexist in fact. Women are not the 'temptresses' who have responsibility for men's actions.

I believe this happened btw.

squeaver · 21/06/2009 18:25
CKelpie · 21/06/2009 18:32

My life is so dull...thank goodness.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 21/06/2009 19:58

You sound like a nasty friend and a total misogynist. They split a long time ago, she was flirting with someone she thought was single, her ex decided to come all macho twat annd it's her fault?

YABU

squeaver · 21/06/2009 20:32

I think you need to read the rest of the thread kat

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 21/06/2009 21:00

Yup, did after I posted. Fair play to you OP.

knockedgymnast · 21/06/2009 22:48

@ hobgobblin

What were Rita and Bob doing at the time?

mustardseed · 22/06/2009 00:00

Had a further update earlier which has shown Bill up to be even more of a twunt.

Another friend (will resist temptation to call her Rita, or Bob for that matter) spoke to Sue- Bill has spoken to Sue, said he was just a bit drunk & stuff got out of hand (bit of an understatement!) and - when she asked him why he'd done it given she knew he was seeing someone else - that he didnt tell her about the woman as felt sorry for her because Sue is single and he obviously not isn't, and beat up flirting man as he again felt sorry for Sue for being flattered by the attention of a married man who obviously wasnt really interested in her

Friend told Sue she thinks Bill is a twunt. Have to say I tend to agree. Feel quite bad now that 24 hours ago I thought she was the one in the wrong.

OP posts:
hmc · 22/06/2009 00:06

Well hopefully mustardseed you've learnt something from this ['does not apologise for purse lipped disapproving tone' emoticon]

It's sad that you were prepared to think badly of your friend in the first instance rather than her ex-dh....

StayFrosty · 22/06/2009 00:17

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany · 22/06/2009 00:23

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StayFrosty · 22/06/2009 00:26

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/06/2009 01:18

StayFrosty, Alex Harvey's was better.

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