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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my friend is an idiot?

99 replies

mustardseed · 21/06/2009 11:37

Went to a charity do at our local social club last night. Lots of people we know there, and their children, including one friend (will call her Sue) and her ex H Bill. Bill is on the club committee. Since they separated (about a year ago) Sue doesnt go to the club regularly, though obviously Bill does, but does still attend events etc.

So last night towards the end of the evening Sue gets chatting to someone (none of us knew him, think he's a friend/relative of one of the members) and they are quite obviously flirting with each other. Bill sees this, gets upset, goes over and pulls the man outside where they have a fight. My DH and a few of the others have to pull them apart. Man's wife then turns up, threatens to call police etc and get Bill arrested, is yelling he will go to prison and won't see his DC etc.

All the children (who are outside so see all of this) get upset because they all like Bill and don't want him to go to prison. His DC are in tears.

Eventually the man persuades his wife there's no need for the police & they leave.

We give Bill and the DC a lift, they are all still upset. He will probaby have to resign from committee now which is a shame as he does a great job.

Sue apologised to everyone before she left for what happened, & has already text me this morning to say sorry, & how awful she feels. I haven't replied to her yet as am still too annoyed with her for upsetting everyone like this. I think she's been really stupid, and has ruined a great night, lost her ExH his post, distressed everyone's DC including her own, and got some man she doesnt even know beaten up.

I feel like telling her she's an idiot. I'm not even sure if I can speak to her, and am thinking of taking DC to school by car tomorrow to try and avoid her on the school run, thats how cross I am!

so AIBU?

OP posts:

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 21/06/2009 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Katisha · 21/06/2009 12:38

Let's give the OP a bit of a break - she is willing to revise her original reaction after all!

ingles2 · 21/06/2009 12:39

They all sound like idiots and I'd have nothing to do with the lot of them
Bill is a twunt for being violent
Sue is a twunt for flirting in front of her ex, she may have left him, but can she not show him a modicum of respect in his club? and if she can't why did she bother going?
the bloke she was flirting with is a twunt for being married and still flirting with another woman....
tell her, bill's behaviour was disgraceful last night, but your's was pretty cheap.. then forget it.

Kimi · 21/06/2009 12:42

This thread needs sheep, it was so much better with simple tales of farming folk, now its all sex and violence.... No hang on thats Emmerdale

Jumente · 21/06/2009 12:44

LOLOL

Kimi · 21/06/2009 12:45

Was Sue the one that buried her still live EX in a coffin in the woods as she was nobbing his brother?

pickyvic · 21/06/2009 12:49

i think that was eastenders....?

Kimi · 21/06/2009 12:50

Ok I remember now, was Bill the one married to Sue and the woman from the florist?

pickyvic · 21/06/2009 12:52

(maybe this is a lost plot!)

glad that OP is able to now see that it wasnt all the womans fault. think if you gonna not speak to her you should not speak to any of em cos it sounds like they were all being daft. drink and bruised egos dont really got well together.

Original poster

mustardseed · 21/06/2009 13:08

I have spoken to her. She is still upset. She has asked Bill to text her to let her know he and DCs are ok but he hasn't which I dont think is helping.

I told her I thought she had been a bit silly, which she agrees - she said she was just enjoying a bit of male attention.

She also told me (which I didnt know but which makes Bills behaviour worse - but also makes this sound more like a soap unfortunately) that Bill is seeing one of the women on the committee (He hasnt told her himself but other people at the club know) although she had gone home apparently before all this started.

Sue said because of knowing Bill was seeing someone else she was less on her guard about showing an interest in anyone else, as she didnt expect he would react so strongly.

I do believe her, and am starting to think Bill is the idiot

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 21/06/2009 13:10

lol the plot thickens!

had Bill been drinking? hada couple too many and realised he misses Sue after all?
no excuse for his behaviour, but maybe an explanation?

unknownrebelbang · 21/06/2009 13:11

YABU.

differentnameforthis · 21/06/2009 13:11

If Bill cannot stand to see her talking to other men & behave himself, maybe he should make sure he doesn't attend anymore events where she is likely to be near men!

He was silly, he needs to accept that it is over, or stay away from her social scene.

Kimi · 21/06/2009 13:13

Is the woman on the committee married? Was she born a bloke? What will she do when she finds out her man hit another man for talking to his ex ....tune in next week.

And I thought my life was a soap opera.

Original poster

mustardseed · 21/06/2009 13:16

Yes, everyone had been drinking for many hours - this all happened about midnight, the event started about 6pm......

OP posts:

Original poster

mustardseed · 21/06/2009 13:19

No, as far as I'm aware the committee lady is not married/ a transexual/long lost relative of either Bill or Sue etc.

I expect she will be less than impressed with Bill's behaviour though.

OP posts:

pickyvic · 21/06/2009 13:24

bill is then truly a tit. he cant have his cake and eat it! what is sue meant to do? become a nun? while bill goes and shags his way through the committee? ive decided i dont like bill, he sounds a bit neanderthal to me!

theloneposter · 21/06/2009 13:25

can i join your social club? sounds like fun.

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/06/2009 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TrillianAstra · 21/06/2009 13:34

Wow, that's an exciting story (y'know, from the outside, if you don't know the people and so aren't bothered about them being upset).

Sue is rather insensitive to flirt in front of an ex who she broke up with and who is still upset about it. But according to the last post he is now seeing someone else, so she can do whatever she likes really.

Bill is and idiot.

Other man is a twat for flirting with someone else while being married, and especially dim for doing it in front of lots of people who know them both.

hercules1 · 21/06/2009 13:35

lol at kimi and going down! Dd asked why I was laughing

TrillianAstra · 21/06/2009 13:37

*an idiot, not and idiot.

Original poster

mustardseed · 21/06/2009 13:50

Sue thinks that Bill was actually taking out on the man last night all the anger he's had for the last year against the other man she left him for - Sue said Bill can't see that she would have left him anyway, and thats why she hasn't gone back since she's been on her own. Bill apparently seems to want to blame other people for keeping them apart which isnt true.

She also told me she is really cross with herself for not realising the flirting man was married, but thinks because he was thats why he wouldnt get the police involved despite being quite hurt.

Flirting man said when his wife turned up that he had only just gone over to Sue to ask if she knew a taxi number when Bill came steaming in - which wasnt true, they were chatting for ages.

Am seeing now the more I think about it that its the men who have been idiots.

OP posts:

TrillianAstra · 21/06/2009 13:53

Taking out his anger from the last year? He needs to get a grip. Grownups don't shouldn't behave like that. I think it's right that he should be off teh committee or disciplined or somehting if he's going to act like that at an event he's hosting (or any event).

Katisha · 21/06/2009 14:01

How old are the DC? Who has them - Sue or Bill?

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