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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed with this man?

17 replies

Kayzr · 20/06/2009 06:43

Yesterday we went out for the morning. DS1 and I went to go into the chocolate shop. Stood outside was a man with 2 Shetland Sheepdogs, DS1 went to stroke one of them and I stopped him and told him he should ask first as the dogs might not like children.

Well the man heard me say that and then went to have a go at me saying that I was implying that his dogs are vicious and dangerous. That is not at all what I had meant, I just meant that DS1 needed to check first. His wife eventually stepped and said she didn't think I meant anything by it.

I went to Crufts and saw an Akita nearly bite this little girl as she just went to grab at him. So have always said we will instill in the boys that they need to ask first.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
TheArmadillo · 20/06/2009 06:50

yanbu

unless you know the dog you should always ask first.

He was being an arse

worzelgummidge · 20/06/2009 07:00

wot she said

NotQuiteCockney · 20/06/2009 07:19

I would have said 'because the dogs might not like children' - not your fault, but he might have taken that to mean you were saying these particular dogs were likely to be a problem?

I just always breezily say 'always ask the owner first!'.

flamingobingo · 20/06/2009 07:26

YANBU

Some (not all!) dog owners really annoy me and seem to take no account of the fact that, just because their dogs are nice, not everyones are.

When we were on the beach once in the winter, these dog walkers came on with this mahoosive dogs which ran right up to my DD2 and terrified her. I picked her up and glared at the owners and they said 'oh they're lovely dogs, they'd have done no harm!' in a grumpy way. To which I responded 'actually they have done harm - they've terrified her because they're bigger than her, and now she'll be scared of dogs again until I can find a nice small gentle dog for her to get used to!'

2Shoots · 20/06/2009 08:03

YANBU at all. Kids need to learn not to rush up to dogs and to respect them. That man was a twunt

BennyAndJoon · 20/06/2009 08:09

What a strange response from him.

You were absolutely doing the right thing. We have moved and are right next to the community playing fields which are dog-laden as we walk back from the school run. DD (fearless 2.10yo) has been taught to ask and all of the dog owners are fine with that.

so YANBU at all

MrsPigeon · 20/06/2009 08:40

YANBU at all. We used to have a collie who had a lovely temperament but really bad eyesight, if a child rushed up at her to stroke she would most likely snap at it - but if they asked and then approached slowly so she could see she would be fine. This man was obviously having a bad day! You did the right thing and most dog owners would be thankful for it imo.

edam · 20/06/2009 08:52

The man was stupid and nasty. I am constantly reminding ds not to approach dogs without checking. Problem is we encounter lots of dogs on the school run and he knows all of them are fine to pat so doesn't entirely believe me.

BradfordMum · 20/06/2009 09:02

He was a twonk!
You were a sensible mummy!

dawntigga · 20/06/2009 09:20

YANBU I'm owned by a dog and it is absolutely common sense to check first!

dxx

Original poster
Kayzr · 20/06/2009 09:26

Thanks, it's nice to know I did the right thing. maybe he was having a bad day.

OP posts:
screamingabdab · 20/06/2009 09:29

YANBU

Satsuma1 · 20/06/2009 09:47

You are definitely NBU.

I love dogs and have grown up around them, but was bitten by one of our family pets when I stroked her and startled her out of a deep sleep. Dogs are still animals and unpredictable no matter how nice they are.

I'm incredibly wary when we're in parks or on beaches. At best an over boisterous dog can knock a child over, at worst it can cause a nasty bite.

Owners have no way of knowing how a dog will react to children if they're not used to them, no matter how nice they are at home.

The guy obviously took what you said in totally the wrong way and should be grateful you had the sense to stop your kids yourself.

willichange · 20/06/2009 09:53

YANBU. Very sensible in fact. As others have said, you never know what the dog may be like, exactly like people! Also, we have a large dog, who is daft as a brush (retriever) but does get very excited if small children come near, in an OTT friendly way, but because he is very large he can easily bowl them over. If I see them coming, or if I am asked is it ok to stroke him, I can get a much firmer grip on his lead & make him sit down. He gets a stroke, child doesnt get bounced on/slathered all over, everyone happy

(lol @ dawntigga, ours definitely rules the roost too!! )

onagar · 20/06/2009 09:59

He probably bought big dogs in the first place so he could be nasty to strangers nd get away with it.

FairLadyRantALot · 20/06/2009 10:13

YANBU to be annoyed at hime, and YANBU to make your ds ask a dog owner first...if anything that is what everyone should do...

we got quite a big dog, and when we got him he was called Scooby Doo. Well, that was what the re-homing people called him, because he kinda looks like Scooby Doo....we decided to re-name him (he is now called "Tan") , because we felt it would give Kids a false sesne of security....and whilst he is a friendly dog, I don't want random Kids to just come up to him, iykwim...

gingernutlover · 20/06/2009 10:22

YANBU

for this one grumpy dog owner there must be 100's that would be grateful for someone asking before they touched the dog.

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