To think that an 11 year old should have a key to her own house.

[PrincessLayer]

11 year old girl, friend of my kids. I've know the girl since she was born. I'd say I'm a casual acquaintance of her parents (who don't live together) rather than a friend.

She's a lovely girl and V sensible. I walk home from school with her most days and have let my 9 year old walk home without me on condition that she walks with this girl.

Quite often her mum is out when she gets home. She's not usually very much later but still means this girl is hanging round outside or wandering about to see if her mum is coming.

Today it is belting down with rain. I've dropped my kids at a playdate round the corner and coming home, there she is. Poor kid she is absolutely sodden. I asked if she wanted to wait at my house but she said no she'd wait a bit longer, so I said that if her mum didn't turn up soon she should come round anyway.

Surely she should have a key. If her mum can't get home (she's not working BTW, she's just hanging out at a friends house) to let her in then she should be allowed to go in herself. She's been taking herself to and from school on her own since she was 6 or 7 so if she can be trusted to do that I don't see why she can't spend 10 minutes alone at home.

YANBU - I had a key to my house at that age 'just in case' - my mum wasnt in for some reason.

It does sound odd.

Maybe she has lost keys in the past and they don't trust her with them?

YANBU. I have dcs at two different schools and have a lift roster with another family. There's one day each week when dcs 1 and 2 get home five to ten minutes before I get back with dc3 so I've had a key cut for each of them and secured it to the inside pocket of their school bag on a long stretchy thing so they can pull it out but, hopefully, not lose it. They're ten and almost nine.

YANBU - my two, 10 and 11 both have a key and have done for a year or so. I work until 3pm and they often get home 10 or 15 minutes earlier than me.

When he was 11 ds2 managed to lose two sets of house keys in quick succession - on both occasions we were able to replace the lock barrel and avoid the cost of a replacement lock, but it did not make him terribly popular.

However, I made sure I was at home to let the boys in if they didn't have keys - I will even leave my art class early rather than risk ds3 having to hang around outside the house - on the odd occasion that I forget to remind him that he will need his key that day.

If this girl has lost keys in the past, then the mum should be at home to let her in, or should make proper arrangements.

My dd2 is 12 and has had a key for a couple of years. Mostly she has no idea where it is!

mine has had a key since he was 10
is great when he forgets things and i have gone to work

What's the youngest age you would give a key to let themselves in after school?

I agree. If the mother isn't there when she gets home, she should have a key.

If she's old enough to walk home by herself and to wait outside by herself, she's old enough to have a key.

It's easy enough to buy a strong chain (necklace), for example, and hang the key from it, under your clothes. Unlikely to lose it then.

The youngest I'd let them have a key is about 9 or 10. It's all circumstances though- my dd has had one since she was ten, but she did lose or forget it regularly until quite recently and she has just turned thirteen.

I had a key from about 8 or 9. Didn't need to use it very often though. My kids don't yet but I always collect them from school and am always in (plus my mum lives round one corner and works round the next so IF I was unexpectedly out they would have somewhere to go. If I knew I was going to be 10-20 minutes late I'd not hesitate giving the 2 eldest keys. (My youngest is only 6 so I'd never leave him anyway)

My DH never had a key the whole time he lived at home and he moved out at 27!! Whenever he or his brother went out and were due back late they would have to ask MIL for a key . I think I had a key from about 12/13 but then again, before this my mum was in 9/10.