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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my dad NOT to get an offroad motorbike?

17 replies

Frasersmum123 · 17/06/2009 14:37

I think my Dad is going through some kind of mid-life crisis!

The background is that he has always kept fish(he has a tropical tank and a pond)for as long as I can remember, but just lately he has losta few and he is finding it stressful so he has decided to give them away and take up a new hobby - offroading!

He is in his mid fifties, but has never had a motor-bike before, nor do i think he has been offroading. I dont think its the best hobby to take up, especially as his health isnt the greatest (he has always had a weak chest)

AIBU or should I tell him its a bad idea? Im sure thats what he would say to me if I had suggested it.

OP posts:
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/06/2009 14:39

He's a grown up. You can't tell him to do anything. Maybe you could suggest he goes on a course or one of those experience days to see if he likes it before investing in a bike though.

Flibbertyjibbet · 17/06/2009 14:41

Well, it makes a change from a midlife crisis where the man goes and has an affair....

so I say let him get a motorbike!

PersonalClown · 17/06/2009 14:42

Depends on whether he's always wanted a bike and now seems like the time to get one or whether you are right and it is a typical mid life crisis.
I can't really say much as I have a father who rebuilt his Harley and loves cruising around on it but he's been a biker always, just gave it up when he had a family to look after.
I also have a DP who has given up bikes after having a big crash and now has me and my Ds in his life and a friend who is now paralysed from the legs after a crash.
Part of me wants to say let him indulge if he's sensible but the other part is saying NOOOOO as he's never had a bike before and they can be dangerous.

I'm no help am I?

Original poster
Frasersmum123 · 17/06/2009 14:43

I wish he would have an affair - he has been single since he divorced my mum 24 years ago!I think he needs a woman in his life

OP posts:
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/06/2009 14:45

Maybe he'll meet a nice biker lady.

TsarChasm · 17/06/2009 14:45

Yabvu! He's a grown up, and mid 50's isn't exactly elderly. (Good idea about a course though to get used to the bike) Maybe he'll find a biker chick

My dad is nearly 70 and has recently had to give up his bikes both road-racing bikes and a motor bike for health reasons. I feel so sad about it for him - he loved it

Original poster
Frasersmum123 · 17/06/2009 14:48

If it was a motor-bike to zoom around on on the roads I would mind.

What he wants to do is go racing round the local dirt tracks on an off-road bike - it just seems a little dangerous.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 17/06/2009 15:02

Don't you dare ! I'm not that far off 50 and I want one too It sounds brilliant fun.

Actually what I want is a big noisy bike that I can wear leathers one. Can't afford but I will one day. Might be nearer 60 than 50 though.

Snorbs · 17/06/2009 15:05

He is more likely to fall off when off-roading than road riding, but the accidents tend to cause much less injury as the speeds are so much lower. A car pulling out in front of you when you're doing 40mph on the road is going to break a lot more bones than hitting a tree root at 15mph and falling into a puddle.

mermaidspurse · 17/06/2009 15:42

yabu, much safer than on the road, he will wear loads of protection and its great excercise.

ABetaDad · 17/06/2009 15:49

By 'off road' do you mean a 4 wheel 'Quad Bike' or a 2 wheel 'Trail Bike'?

The 4 wheel ones are very heavy. A friend tipped one over on herself and was trapped under it when she was pregnant. Remember Rik Mayall had a similar really serious accident on one

Anyway, he needs training whether Trail Bike OR Quad Bike wheel.

Paolosgirl · 17/06/2009 15:52

If he's planning to ride it off road on private land owned by someone who's given their permission, then fine. If he's planning to ride it illegally on public land then he's a fool.

Snorbs · 17/06/2009 16:32

If Rik Mayall had been wearing a helmet he'd likely have walked away from his accident with nothing more than a need to change his pants.

lisabartandmaggie · 17/06/2009 16:50

Tis a great hobby - my husband does it. I can understand why - must be great fun and good exercise. Some issues: where to ride - legal sites few and far between. Unless he has a bike licence he will need to tow the bike on a trailer to where he is riding it. Better option, to pass his bike test and then join an organised group and go trail riding (riding along little bumpy lanes - perfectly legal as long as you do your homework). Joining a group would make it a more social activity too.

Don't spoil his fun!

Paolosgirl · 17/06/2009 17:17

Doing your homework is definitely key - so many off roaders think that any old trail or bit of rough ground is fair game, and it's just not the case.

Morloth · 17/06/2009 17:28

Ponders telling my mother she can't/shouldn't do something.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 17/06/2009 17:32

You certainly cannot tell a grown man what he may or may not purchase! That would be outrageous! You could tell him that you are concerned because...and then tell him all about the accidents people have, but you cannot command him to not buy one! and you know it

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