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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have a crush on a 17 year old!!!!!!!!

58 replies

ishouldbeinbedbynow · 17/06/2009 00:41

oh bugger, have recently developed stupid crush on this 17 year old boy. Have known him a while but he has suddenly grown up!!!!! iykwim!!!!!

I know this is wrong wrong wrong, but it doesnt stop me feeling like a lovesick teenager again, even though my teenage years are a very long time ago!!!

He has no idea, though we did have a brief conversation about milfs recently!!! Dont think it meant anything!!

Dont think it helps that dh has no interest in sex at the moment, not making me feel very attractive, so steamy fantasies about teenage boys are taking over!!! OMG!!!

OP posts:
bigted · 17/06/2009 00:54

nothing unreasonable about a fantasy!

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 17/06/2009 00:56

I'm fairly sure this whole thread has been done before or have I moved into the twilight zone???

Be a bit more origional next time hey!

Original poster
ishouldbeinbedbynow · 17/06/2009 01:01

oh thanks a lot fluffy bunny.

Am sorry my life is not origional enough for you.

gave up posting on here a while back so must have missed other post, but thought I could get this situation off my chest (so to speak) this way rather than involving friends etc

sorry to be living my life in the twilight zone, maybe thats the problem hey???

OP posts:
FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 17/06/2009 01:06

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=_chat&threadid=771051-i-have-a-crush-on-my-neighbours-17-yr-old#1577976 8

Here you go.

nappyaddict · 17/06/2009 01:11

How old are you? My friend was 29 when she got with her DH who was 18 at the time. He did turn 19 within a month of them getting together though.

I know what you mean though it's the fact that 1 year of being under 18 that makes it a bit icky isn't it.

whoisasking · 17/06/2009 10:10

I'm sure no one is going to agree with me here, but I've got to say that this makes me uncomfortable. I wonder what the reaction would be if a man posted something similar.

dilemma456 · 17/06/2009 10:18

Message withdrawn

MorningTownRide · 17/06/2009 10:19

Why do you feel the need to post in two Topics about this?

Have a cold shower and keep your legs closed.

ThePhantomPlopper · 17/06/2009 10:20

Haven't we just done this?

lowenergylightbulb · 17/06/2009 10:39

It's been done already but I'm in the 'what if this was a bloke talking about a 17 year old girl' camp.

It's a bit sleazy and inappropriate IMHO.

Olifin · 17/06/2009 10:53

Well...what is it sleazy and inappropriate? The feelings themselves or the talking about them?

The OP can't help having a crush (I've had similar crushes myself) but acting on it is a whole different story.

We can't censor people's feelings, surely. And presumeably the OP feels an anonymous forum is an appropriate place to share her feelings, rather than to anyone in RL. I can understand that.

If the situation were reversed and it were a man posting about a crush on a 17 year-old girl, I'd say more or less the same thing: enjoy your Lolita fantasy but keep a respectful distance!

Chandra · 17/06/2009 10:55

Have we had this thread before or has there been a failure in the Matrix?

mrsdisorganised · 17/06/2009 10:59

My sis and I were talking about this kind of situation, IMO the 17 year old would really have to be something! I'm only 29 but can honestly say boys in their teens are a complete no no for me!
As long as it stays in your head you're not doing any harm, in fact echo what Olifin is saying as she is obviously better at wording than me

memoo · 17/06/2009 11:03

I have a crush on Zac effron, DP doesn't understand why I don't mind DD watching High school musical all the time!

pembslass · 17/06/2009 11:04

It's sleazy-especially if you do something about it. A 17yr old lad hasnt finished developing emotionally yet. Leave him alone and wash your brain out with soap and water

lowenergylightbulb · 17/06/2009 11:06

So if a middle aged man posted saying that he'd got a crush on a 17 year old girl that 'he'd known for years and had all of a sudden grown up' (sic) people wouldn't find it sleazy and inappropriate?

I've taught kids of that age, and they are just 'kids' still and mature adults perving over them in a predatory manner is....well, wrong.

frumpygrumpy · 17/06/2009 11:13

Crushes are crushes. Couldn't live without mine!

Totally normal.

Totally fine.

Totally happens to men too only they don't post it on MN and so aren't tarred and feathered for it.

Its the modern world that leads us into this "yuck, thats disgusting" mode. Its over sensitive and I'm sure we can all see the cavern of difference in fancying someone and being a paedophile.

I won't give up my crushes. They pass the days beautifully. It does transport you back into those teenage days bliss!!!!!!!!!

(and yes, its probably made worse by the lack-of with your DH, can you fix it?)

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 17/06/2009 11:14

lowenergy - 'perving over them in a predatory manner' seems a bit strong when the OP just said she quite fancies someone.

17-year old boys do look a lot like men, and attraction is very often just a looks/physical thing.

I doubt very much the OP will DO anything at all!

frumpygrumpy · 17/06/2009 11:16

predatory:

  1. Living by preying on other organisms: a predatory mammal; a predatory insect.

2.a. Of, relating to, or characterized by plundering, pillaging, or marauding.

b. Living by or given to exploiting or destroying others for one's own gain.

Nope, I wouldn't say she was remotely 'predatory'.

Lighten up everyone! I'm leaving the thread now because I can see how this will end up. Good luck OP. FWIW, I had similar crushes and fantasies when I was 17 on older men. Same difference non?

Olifin · 17/06/2009 11:35

I agree that the OP is NOT being predatory.

Ok, the idea of a crush on a very young man makes some people feel uncomfortable but there's no need to make the OP feel like some sort of deviant, when I am quite sure lots of women (and men) have crushes like these.

So, those who find it inappropriate...you'd rather the OP didn't talk about her feelings on this? The feelings will still be there! You can't talk yourself out of a crush.

MorningTownRide · 17/06/2009 11:38

I think it's fine she's got a crush but to post about it twice is labouring a bit. AND she's flirting with him.

It appears to me she's waiting for someone to say 'Great! Go for it'.

She has a partner. Look don't touch.

Original poster
ishouldbeinbedbynow · 17/06/2009 11:40

I was informed last night by fluffy bunny that this had all been done before and someone else has just told me off for posting in 2 topics on this subject.

I havent, so not only am I a sad, middle aged mother with a dodgy crush, but I'm not even origional!!!

god I think this had made me feel worse!!!

I wouldnt act on it as it would cause untold trauma to everyone involved, and the "crush" would probably laugh in my face/die of embarrasment anyway.

just wish I could get these pictures out of my head!!!!

by the way, I am not in the habit of lusting after young boys, they have always seemed daft, awkward, gangly, spotty before, just as they should be in fact. God knows whats happened here, but its hit me like a thunderbolt, so I will go away and have a cold shower, or two

OP posts:
pembslass · 17/06/2009 11:42

if it's a crush and then she removes herself from the situation-i.e stops seeing him then fine. If she continues to talk/see him then....I think the OP is a perve and I have no sympathy

Original poster
ishouldbeinbedbynow · 17/06/2009 11:42

by the way, morningtown, when did I say I was flirting with him?????

I bloody well havnt all right!!

OP posts:
grumblinalong · 17/06/2009 11:43

How old are you? Need more info before I can decide if YABU. FWIW I work with 17 year old boys and I do not know how anyone can fancy them. Most of them are a PITA.