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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that trolling is taken too seriously on MN?

47 replies

SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 18:52

OK - I do realise that I'm taking my life in my hands a bit here....

But over the last few days, I've seen that there's been a bit of a troll invasion. Not that I would know, mind, I've posted on half of the threads being none the wiser

But - I have also noticed that people here are seriously overreacting! IMHO of course. I'm not going down the 'just a forum' route, because I understand that this place and others like it are a lifeline to people. However, why take these people so seriously? Some people get really upset

Don't feed them, and they'll soon go away, surely?

Am I? Am I?

OP posts:
ThePhantomPlopper · 15/06/2009 18:54

YANBU.

But it is getting more than a bit silly around here ATM.

cornsilk · 15/06/2009 18:55

The obvious ones don't bother me. I can understand why people get upset about the ones that draw people in over a period of time.

sunfleurs · 15/06/2009 18:56

I don't really understand the need to keep on responding to them. Just ignore. I wish we could all have the self control to immediately hide the threads that are really obvious and not even give one response.

So no YANBU.

Flynnie · 15/06/2009 18:57

YABU.
I have been away from MN over the last week but from what I have read today the trolling has not been silly, funny stuff but rather nasty and on serious subjects.

The posters getting so upset have been the ones who have spent a lot of time trying to help and sharing their own personal experiences only to have it thrown back at them.

Lulumama · 15/06/2009 18:57

agree with cornsilk

the ones who post for a while, get established, then post awful stories of domestic violence and terrible things, draw people in, get them to share their stories etc.. i can absolutely understand people getting upset

Fairynufff · 15/06/2009 18:59

FWIW I couldn't care less if the OP is a troll or not. If the subject is worthy of debate it's a good post. If it's not it quickly gets its arse smacked. I don't see the problem. And I agree - there seem to be genuine posters getting called trolls when they genuinely want help.

YANBU

differentID · 15/06/2009 19:00

SH, some people do their best to help people by opening up old wounds. They tell them what happened to them, in the hope it will help. When it turns out that the op is just looking for kicks, then it hurts almost as bad as when the original event happened.

It's only becoming extreme because some arse-wipes think it's funny to dick around with people's mental health and well-being!

People get defensive, as they should.

TripleTroubleMuffin · 15/06/2009 19:03

YABU a bit.

The funny ones - which I haven't seen for ages - are fine but the ones involving abuse of any kind or harm to anyone are just vile.

I have decided to hide threads I am not sure about and not to post on certain others.

It is a shame as some experiences I have had makes me feel I could help but I can't run the risk of feeling crap if and when it is proved to all be a lie.

IMO people who troll about vile things haven't experienced abuse, etc of any kind.

Fairynufff · 15/06/2009 19:04

differentID et al. Sorry - I haven't actually seen this. If this is truly happening I take it all back... people are right to react to it.

shadowofacow · 15/06/2009 19:06

yanbu

one poster in particular seems to be on some kind of troll mission and has started quite a few threads about it.

i understand taking things further if people are arranging to meet of board etc but apart from that i would rather give people the benefit of the doubt.

FenellaFudge · 15/06/2009 19:07

The silly, obvious ones are dull and pointless. I find them annoying from the pov that I just cant understand why you would bother.

The ones who construct serious issues and personas are different. I dislike the way they drain other people.

I'm not overly upset by them - except when no one else seems to see that they're lying (though it usually turns out that other people have doubts too but we're often reluctant to say anything).

Lulumama · 15/06/2009 19:09

also, for example, turns out that a well known poster, lolatheshowgirl, is a troll

posting under various different names , going back years

she basically lied for years and took advantage of the support here

posted about stuff that encoraged other posters to open up about personal stuff re family relationships etc

then turns out to be a compulsive liar

people feel upset, angry, taken advantage of and that hurts

i don;t think there is anything wrong with taking that seriously

another troll, CvQ, lied about some terrible things... and again, encouraged other posters to open up about difficult emotional circumstances

if someone you knew in real life, turned out to have lied like that, you'd be upset too

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 19:09

Okay, I understand the ones that are drawing people in to speak about horrible personal experiences.

But stuff like the pedigree dog one - not obviousy trolling, but then found to be so - and people all up in arms about it... who cares??? Do you see what I mean?

OP posts:
Sarey1 · 15/06/2009 19:10

I understand your post, but have seen some people post personal stuff trying to help and empathise, only to find that the story they think they can relate to is a load of bull. That must hurt so much if you've been through horrible situations and tried to move on afterwards ... IMO trolls are unhappy people with big problems of their own who could actually benefit from forums like this ... if they could use them properly.

scaredoflove · 15/06/2009 19:11

I'm not sure why some people care if someone is "trolling". I understand about the ones that have sob stories and get money/things but the ones that only get advice, where is the problem?? Someone, somewhere may need that advice. There have been many many shouts of troll but only a handful of confirmed ones. Just because someone believes or shouts troll, doesn't make it true

None of us know who is on the other side of the screen, you don't have to be a member to read, so if you open up and relay something, then only open up if you want the world to read it.

I've said some very personal things and I know that absolutely anyone can read it, whether it's someone taking time to write, a lurker reading or a hairy trucker. I chose to write it anyway

I don't like the constant shout of troll. If suspicious, report and hide. That person MAY be a troll, but someone reading may get help with similar circumstances.

Some people have a real bee in their bonnets about being trollhunters but all that does is make it hard for genuine people with maybe unusual problems to get the rolling eyes and troll shouts. That is what is ruining things, not the trolls

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 19:11

Lulu, a very similar thing happened on another forum that I am a member of - obviously I understand why that would hurt people deeply. That kind of stuff is dreadful, and those people need a verbal kicking.

OP posts:
Morloth · 15/06/2009 19:16

I think a lot of Mumsnetter's forget where they are and think it is like meeting up with real friends for a coffee.

It isn't. I don't think people should share very personal information, I don't think it is a good idea to meet up with people from messageboards and I think it is a really silly idea to send anyone money.

Trolls don't bother me because I don't get involved with things deeply at all. It worries me when people do. I don't think it is safe to do so.

Lulumama · 15/06/2009 19:17

agree taht shouting troll just because someone's story is unusual or they have not posted before or for long is unfair

unfortunately, an influx of trolls makes people more wary

NormaSknockers · 15/06/2009 19:17

YANBU & YABU - the quite obvious troll threads that are funny & jokey make me giggle & are good fun so in that sense YANBU.

But the more serious ones about abuse etc I find hard to swallow & quite frankly find a bit sick

scottishmummy · 15/06/2009 19:18

what irks is the purposeful intent to lie and incite others to share personal stuff for kicks

but on other hand people need to exercise internet savvy.

it is open forum messages can be read without joining.maybe a few posters actively contributing but many more unseen potentially reading

only reveal what you are happy for complete strangers to know,and you wont necessarily feel contained or safe.it isn't closed group or therapeutic community.

as essentially this is anonymous and a leap of faith.we hope people are who they purport to be but sometimes sadly they are not

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 19:18

Morloth, that I would have to disagree with. The other forum I post on has regular meets, and a lot of the women have become really close. That can't be a bad thing.

OP posts:
Lulumama · 15/06/2009 19:19

i do agree with a lot of what you say, morloth, and do agree that you can fgorget this is the interent and anyone can read your posts

i don;t post anything that iw ould not be happy for RL friends or family to know

i never post about my sex life, how much DH earns, intimate stuff.. same as i would not tell a load of strangers

but it is easy to forget that this is not just MN but part of the world wide web

if you have conquered a terrible situation, such as got out of a violent relationship , got over severe depression or some such, you wnat to share that with peopel going through the same, to give them hope and support

so people do post personal stuff and when that is thrown back in your face it is hurtful and upsetting

Morloth · 15/06/2009 19:21

Glad it worked out well Serendipitous but I know people who it didn't go so well for and one woman for whom it led to her murder.

Not a risk I am willing to take.

PhaseAte · 15/06/2009 19:21

so agree
everyone loevs it imo

shadowofacow · 15/06/2009 19:22

exactly scaredoflove very well put.

unfortunatly some posters seem to think that there is a prize for being the first person to spot a troll

a lot of what lola wrote was very sad/upsetting and i think she prob did have a very hard time of it in real life, i think this website did help her a lot even if it was just getting the attention she seemed to lack in real life and its a shame that things went the way they did.

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