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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can someone reassure me please that a Christmas birthday is not so bad

158 replies

SarahL2 · 15/06/2009 15:08

I'm due on the 27th December (adjusted by the sonographer from my pervious date of the 25th!) and am already sick of people telling me how awful it is to have a christmas birthday.

Even when I straight out asked for reassurance all I got was "sorry, no reassurance here - it's awful"!!

My MIL is similarly unsupportive. In fact, when we told her I was pregnant, she said "congratulations - bad timing though" -But then when we told her we were expecting our first child she said "but I'm not ready for number 6!" (DS was her 6th grandchild) It just sems she can never be happy for us!

My brother, bless him, just keeps quiet. His birthday is the end of November and I know he hates it being so close to christmas.

If I hear much more about how awful it is I will cry. We wanted another baby but were going to wait for another 6 months to have a summer baby - but this one kind of snuck up on us. We're blissfully happy about the prospect of another child but the negativity of people is really spoiling it for us.

So is it really so awful?

Should I elect for another section rather than a VBAC just to ensure it's not Christmas or New Years Day when the little one arrives?

OP posts:

harleyd · 16/06/2009 10:37

ds is 24th..he loves it

HeadFairy · 16/06/2009 10:43

Sarah, I'm due on the 27th Dec too, and I too have thought perhaps I could go for a second section to bring it in before Christmas, I did feel really guilty for thinking that.

My sister's b'day is 2nd Jan which I think is officially the worst birthday ever, no one's ever in the mood to celebrate, everyone's given up drinking/eating/having fun for January. She usually ends up having a meal out with her dh, eating in an empty restaurant I however have a very late July birthday and I never got a proper party as everyone was always away, including my family. My parents were away for my birthday for about 15 years in a row (including my 18th - sob!!)

I don't think there's ever an ideal... and anyway after two mc's I'm just happy to be pg... this baby will probably end up getting presents on his/her brother's birthday anyway, that's what happened to my sister when she was little, she'd get her birthday presents in January then a load more in July on my birthday... 'snot fair!

Original poster

SarahL2 · 16/06/2009 10:53

You're all right (of course!! ) - My birthday is the end of May and my 21st was a complete wash out cause everyone - including my then boyfriend - was revising for Uni exams and couldn't come out! I think in the end, me and 1 mate who had also finished his exams, sat in the union and had a drink for a couple of hours. Not exactly thrilling and momentous At least most people will be off work/school for DC2's birthday.

I'm feeling a lot better about it. More defiantly 'I will make it special no matter what the date' than ' poor baby, what a rubbish birthday'.

I realise it's going to take some effort to make it special but that's what Mummies and Daddies are for after all

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 16/06/2009 10:55

My friend's ds was born on Christmas day so they decided to celebrate his birthday on his saints day as it was mid summer. He's nearly 20 now and I don't think he bothers anymore but it was a nice thing for them to do with him when he was younger.

jumblies · 16/06/2009 10:57

I'm due 26/27th dec. I'm more worried about being cooped up inside with my toddler dd and a baby. I would have preferred a spring baby this time (dd was a sep birth which was nice) so that we could go for walks early on when cabin fever sets in.

I'm not too worried about the date, as headfairy said I feel quite lucky to have got this far as have been bleeding quite a bit.

Friends of ours who have a son with a xmas birthday just give him a party in June instead so he gets two celebrations a year!

mummylin2495 · 16/06/2009 10:58

i have two adult children born in december and in turn they both have a child of their own born in the same month,they all have birthday and xmas presents,not a joint one.

Disenchanted3 · 16/06/2009 10:58

My DD was born on the morning of 24th December, shes 6 months so no idea how her birthday will go yet.

Disenchanted3 · 16/06/2009 11:00

BTW i have 13th dec son too, so busy time for us.

HeadFairy · 16/06/2009 11:00

Another thing to think of sarah, as the summer starts to roll round, and the weather's getting better our babies will be approaching 6 months old, hopefully sleeping pretty well, possibly crawling, probably starting to wean with all that lovely summer fruit, and hopefully we'll all still be on mat leave during the summer. How lovely is that? Get all the rubbishy no sleeping zombie like existence out of the way before the summer comes YAY!!

is3morefun · 16/06/2009 11:21

Just thought I'd add my thoughts (so to speak!) My DD1 was born 8 days late on the 22/12. The worst thing for us was that she might come on the 24th which is the anniversary of MIL (lovely lady) death. We brought her home on christmas eve and it was very special if tiring with people around. However easier than having 8 week old DD3 and 5 guests this year just gone! We always have her parties (she's now 7) the weekend before her birthday and generally people welcome leaving their children and nipping off for last minute shopping. Also bear in mind for the future DC will be an older child in the school year for that all important advantage. And yep winter babies are easy to wrap up whilst they sleep in their prams and then put on their shorts and t-shirts for summer in their buggies! You can't change it so embrace it and make DC feel special on the day just as if it was any other time of year.

DandyLioness · 16/06/2009 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

littleM · 16/06/2009 13:13

my birthday is the 29th December - it has its upsides and downsides.

When I was little it was often when we had a big family get together and I was told it was because of my birthday not that it was because of Christmas. Not good for birthday parties when at infant school as everyone is visiting relatives. the summer birthday children!)

Late teenage / early 20s it was great as all friends would be home from college and in the mood to go out and party having had enough of family - did quite well for presents then too as everyone was still in the shopping mode and got bargains in the sales!

cazinski · 16/06/2009 14:54

I love my Christmas birthday!! I'm the 16th of December, and I think it feels all the more special that the tree is up, the house is decorated, lots of yummy food and chocolates everywhere. I wouldn't change it for anyone. In fact i even insisted that we got married in December too, as I think its a gorgeous time of year.

So long as the same fuss is made for a December baby as much as any other child's birthday, it's not really an issue. Good luck and look forward to your little special Christmas present! x

Galava · 16/06/2009 15:08

Funny really, when we were TTC we kind of avoided March time so ideally he wouldnt be born too close to Christmas.

Then happily I found myself PG in April only then to find he put in an appearance a month early, 3 days before Christmas !

Atm, its a bit too early to say if its an issue or not. What we are thinking is that we'll mark it with a special trip to the theatre or pantomime to make it special.

Completely agree with the paper thing. Its just not on to use christmas paper for a birthday present, even in the name of recycling !

Original poster

SarahL2 · 16/06/2009 15:14

Our plan was to avoid March too but one night things got a little carried away and well, here we are!

OP posts:

carocaro · 16/06/2009 15:29

Have not read all posts? Why avoid March? Am confused?

Original poster

SarahL2 · 16/06/2009 15:33

Because falling pregnant in March or Early April will mean a Christmas baby.

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 16/06/2009 17:07

Mother nature has a way of ruining all our little plans though, I got pg first time and was due in June, lovely I thought, summer baby. Then I mc'd. Then I got pg again and was due on ds's second birthday, cool, how fun I thought... then I mc'd. Now all looks well and I'm due Dec 27th. To quote the Stones, you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need

l39 · 16/06/2009 18:11

I planned to take 3 months or so to conceive our third child, for an early spring birthday, then ended up getting pregnant with twins straightaway, and they were born on 28th December! So they share the day with each other as well as being in the festive season. We do make a fuss about their birthday, and now they're a bit older they like having sales on when they have some birthday money about. We also try to have a 'birthday outing' for them in the summer.

The worst thing about the timing of their birth was that I came out of hospital 3 days later on New Year's Eve which meant my husband was out all night leaving me, just recovering from a caesarean, alone with 2 newborns! I've never let him hear the last of it.

Original poster

SarahL2 · 16/06/2009 18:15

He went out I wouldn't have let him back in!!

OP posts:

l39 · 16/06/2009 18:17

He always says 'You could have stayed in hospital another night!' but honestly, who wants to stay in when they've been released?

Original poster

SarahL2 · 16/06/2009 18:21

With the screaming babies and snoring mums...!?!

Guess he's never tried getting some sleep on a Maternity ward!

OP posts:

Acekicker · 16/06/2009 18:34

If you go a few days past 25th Dec then when they get a bit older you get to buy the birthday present in the January sales which is another plus! The drop in the price of things like bikes between 24th and 26th Dec is amazing.

The biggest downside for us was DS not having arrived by New Year's Eve and I made DH not drink that night as I wasn't prepared to chance getting a taxi to the hospital if I went into labour. We both sat at home playing poker, drinking Appletise and watching a Phonix Nights marathon on C4!

Original poster

SarahL2 · 16/06/2009 18:39

Sounds like my New Years in 2006. I was 6 months pregnant with DS and DH offered to play taxi for his parents so we had a nice meal but stayed completely sober.

PIL's are actually hoping DC comes before New Years as they have booked a trip to Prague for Jan 1st and will miss baby if s/he doesn't come on time..

T'is GC7 for them so I guess the excitement has worn off

OP posts:

Heifer · 16/06/2009 18:48

My DD birthday is 20th Dec. We told family please not to get joint presents from day 1, so this has not been a problem.

The best thing we find is to make sure the two are separate. We don't put any christmas decs up until after her birthday.

We have her party on the last day of term (last year 19th) the school have half day that day, so we have the party straight after school at 1.00pm.

The one big downside is the lack of presents throughout the year. so this year as she had a party and got 22 good presents from friends etc, one of her aunties suggested not giving her a birthday present at the time, but will get her something in the summer. We may do more of this in the future.

To be honest, it is not the best time of the year for a birth(day) - but after 7 years of trying I wasn't that fussed at the time. And you can't do anything about it - so you just have to find the best way to deal with it. (and you get all year to save up for it)

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