AIBU to say no to my friends request for help ?

[hambo]

Hello - first time to AIBU....(very long)

My friend is pregnant and is intending on using cotton nappies.

She decided to make her own cotton wipes. I never made my own wipes as I could not be bothered .

I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. She phoned me and asked me if she could use my mums sewing machine at my house. (she has her own house)

This involves me getting children into car;driving to mums; getting them out of car at mums; going into attic with 2 year old wanting to help; finding machine; probably feeding smallest baby; getting everyone and everything into my car; driving home; getting everyone and everything out of the car; clearing my table as I have a tiny house and machine would have to sit on my kitchen table; having friend doing the sewing while I fend off 2 year old while feeing baby; tidying up machine when finished and doing it all again........

I said no, but I think she was shocked that I said no and now there is a distinct coldness to her last email she sent.

I said no cos if I have any time, I dont want to spend it as above, but frankly at the moment I really literally dont have any time. Also, I never made my own wipes as I could not bear the hassle, so why would I want to be involved in making someone elses?

I know this sounds so trite, but I am quite upset about it (probably hormones) but I think she thinks I am wrong to say no - what do you lot think?

Agree with skidoodle.

Act like its all done and dusted. You listened you said no, she could have made an alternative request, like can i borrow it and nake them myslef in my own house, but she didn't, and you then found something suitable and emailed her. you have done your bit.

Carry on now as if it never happened.!

Even your finding wipes on ebay for her, and her giving no thanks for this makes it appear that she is the more demanding friend, and somewhat spoilt.
And ]expects people to run around after her at a drop of a hat. Do you feel that she does enough favours and nice things for you?

YWNBU in the first place, and since you have given your answer she should just accept it and not whine about it. Give her your mother's phone number and let them sort it out.

You have certainly done more than you're bit if you searched for something suitable and she said that. Agree with others - don't mention it again.

Yes, she was worrying the other day becasue her friend has a boy who can count and he is very young, and she was worrying that her baby would not be able to do such things at the same age. And, thinking about it, she was worried as her boyfriends sister is not too bright (in her opinion) and her baby might have her genes....

She was brought up with no TV by highly motivated parents, a little bit hot housed I think. However she has never used her parents, (eg they bought her brother 2 houses!!but she has never taken anything from them) She works very hard and is very successfull too, on her own merit... That is why I respect her so much..

I do wonder if she will push her kiddie a bit, as she is already talking about classes for it such as signing etc

This conversation has given me much food for thought.

She is being unreasonable! I made my own wipes, just cut an old flannelette sheet into squares, no need to hem, pinking shears would work well (and she could cut out nice little circles of fabric to go on top of her home-made jam too.

Thank you for all your replies.

I have been thinking about her and actually cannot think of one thing she has done for me...I sound like a fool!

I have some baby clothes for her and she said that she was always in at the moment as she is on mat leave. That implied that I could drop them at hers. I was a bit miffed at that but then she is 8 months preggers, so ignored it. (40 min drive apart)

But then, I call her my friend...All a bit confusing when I start analysing. Anyway thanks again!!

That is a brill idea wiggly - I am going to steal that idea! (not for my tesco homemade jam though!!)

OMG that is hilarious about her DH's stupid sister

That poor, poor baby having her as a mother. I guess I shouldn't really laugh at its predicament.

I seriously can't believe that she expects you to drive 40 minutes with a baby and toddler to drop off baby clothes that you are giving her as a favour?!

If she expects other people to run around after her to this extent it's no wonder she's making busy work for herself like hemming bum wipes.

Yes, I don't think I will do that clothes run...

She was reading a book called 'conditional' parenting which her brother does apparently.

Hmmm maybe we are jsut not suited!

She does sound like she is taking the piss and thinks the world is there to serve her. Perhaps she will have more empathy when she has children of her own to run after, but you never know...

its all take and no give from her hambo, and i'm not surprised you sound a bit hurt by her. i'll send jimbob round to hers for the night - that'll teach her.

Ithink she seriously hasn't got a clue. The faff factor of doing this even without the dc makes it a major hassle and I don't blame you for urning her down.

I don't see her problem, I bought value face flannels from wilkos which cost (I think) 25p each.

I also cut up an old towelling dressing gown and never bothered edging them.

It sounds as if she is being a bit precious and me me me.

Don't stress out if she was a real friend she would understand.