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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel sad for ds whose birthday it is tomorow and no-one has sent him cards?

43 replies

IlanaK · 10/06/2009 21:28

Ds2 is 5 tomorow and is really excited about his birthday. His party is not for a couple of weeks (combined with ds1) so I knew he would likely not have presents and cards from friends. But no family have sent him cards either

Parents in Australia sent him an e-card. But at 5, I think he would have really liked to get a card in the post. My dad and stepmother haven't sent him one at all (they left me some money on last trip to buy a present for him which I have done). Neither of his Aunt's have sent him a card. So the only card he has tomorow is from us.

It just seems so sad really, and I am a bit pissed off at relatives.

OP posts:
twinmam · 10/06/2009 21:30

YANBU - That is really sad. Maybe some will arrive in tomorrow's post?

choccyp1g · 10/06/2009 21:30

If you really feel he will be sad, you could give him a few extra cards, one from the cat, dog, teddy, next door's cat etc.

peggotty · 10/06/2009 21:30

Are you certain that the other relatives have not sent cards, have they told you that they haven't? Or could they still arrive tomorrow morning?

MrsMcCluskey · 10/06/2009 21:31

YABU - so mean of relatives.
Getting post is so exciting for little ones.
Amybe 'pretend' he gets some through the post?

BiscuitStuffer · 10/06/2009 21:31

Yes that is crap and I would have no problem with phoning them all up and insisting on one in time for the joint party. Then you can say that tomorrow is just for you guys at home and he'll be chuffed when more come later AND it will let everyone know what's expected of them for next year and so on. Honestly - adults just don't think sometimes do they?

Chuffinnora · 10/06/2009 21:31

There might be a pile of cards on the mat in the morning. Tis my birthday tomorrow too - I haven't had cards in the post yet but I expect there will be one or two by the morning.

I hope he has a great day anyway.

LadyOfWaffle · 10/06/2009 21:32

Can you fake a few?

snickersnack · 10/06/2009 21:32

That is sad. They may well arrive tomorrow, though - I post birthday cards the day before if they are going within the UK and assume they'll arrive the next day.

I would buy a card from your dad and stepmother - they left money, so it could go with that, and perfectly justifiable.

Dysgu · 10/06/2009 21:32

How sad for your DS2. It is such a tough age too as he will be so aware of his birthday and will not understand that he has to wait until the party for presents.

It is likely that relatives will be on the phone early in the morning to at least say Happy Birthday?

Sorry I don't have any suggestions on how to make this better - feel really sad for DS2 and you (perhaps separate [smaller] parties next year to avoid it?)

BiscuitStuffer · 10/06/2009 21:32

Do you have any pets that could send him a card? Or could you write some on behalf of other rellies just this year and slap them all in to shape for next year?

jenwyn · 10/06/2009 21:32

Well I know where I would be heading to buy some cheap cards with 5 badges on them .I think asda have a goodish range for under a pound.They can be from any fantasy charcter you can think of.

Sorry about your relatives not being on the ball though -maybe in tomorrows post?

slayerette · 10/06/2009 21:33

That's so sad

Has his brother got him one? As long as you make a huge fuss of him, I'm sure he won't mind. If he's anything like my DS who's just 6, all he's really excited about are pressies anyway so if he's got parcels to unwrap he might not notice the lack of cards.

BooBooChicken · 10/06/2009 21:33

you are definitely not bu. i really feel for you and your wee lad.

hopefully the post will bring something tomorrow..

and remember that 5 year olds care less about cards than we grown ups - he will just be pleased with whatever present you have got for him, and delighted if he gets more gifts at his party in a couple of weeks

Hulababy · 10/06/2009 21:33

Is it possible to print out the ecard onto card so he can stand it up?

Can you quickly make him a card from your dad, to go with the present?

Hulababy · 10/06/2009 21:34

Yes, and get DC1 to make him one

Original poster
IlanaK · 10/06/2009 21:35

Yes, my dad will call tomorow definately. But it is not the same as a card. But then, he always just bungs money my way to sort out presents for the kids each year (and I had to remind him this year that there were in fact 3 birthdays, not 2!)

I doubt there will be anymore in the post tomorow. I don't want to fake them either.

I know my mother has presents and a card for him, but she is at work tomorow so will not see him until the next day.

OP posts:
snickersnack · 10/06/2009 21:37

Thinking about this, in your position I would ring the aunts now and tell them they need to make a special phone call tomorrow morning to sing Happy Birthday loudly down the phone. Assuming, of course, that they haven't sent a card.

Original poster
IlanaK · 10/06/2009 21:38

No pets. Good idea about printing the ecard. I will look at that tonight. His older brother has not made him a card - they share a bedroom so are not apart really to have done it. I may pull him aside tomorow and see if he can do a quick one.

You know, I searched everywhere nearby to find a card with a 5 badge on from us. I know he would love to have a badge to wear. I could not find one for love nor money. We don;t have any big supermarkets around here so I was checking in lots of small card and gift shops and newsagents. In the end I got a Mr Men card, but no badge. Maybe i can make one tonight?

OP posts:
Original poster
IlanaK · 10/06/2009 21:40

Can't do that snimckersnack - my sister lives in Portland so on a totally different time zone. She would not take kindly to being told what to do anyway

Sister in law - its weird as she normally sends cards and things on time. However, she has become stressed since having her own child a year ago and things have not become so ontime anymore.

OP posts:
Botbot · 10/06/2009 21:45

YANBU. Cards are as important as presents IMO.

This has reminded me of last year, when dd didn't get any cards in the post. In fact no post at all arrived that day. I was a bit confused and had a ring-round, and it turned out that loads of relatives had sent her cards. I phoned the sorting office and they said they'd look into it, but I didn't hear anything from them.

A couple of weeks later, DP was doing some gardening in our allotment (behind our flat, with a gate from our garden leading into it) and found a full post bag submerged in the water butt, weighted down with stones, containing all dd's birthday cards, (except the one sent from my great-aunt with a tenner in it ) and the rest of the post for the neighbourhood for that day. All soaked, shredded and unreadable. I was furious. The sorting office said we'd had a temporary postman that week, doing holiday cover - I hope they sacked him

GrungeBlobPrimpants · 10/06/2009 21:53

YANBU - that's awful. Your poor ds. And Botbot -

What other poster have said - print the ecard on a card; one from ds; and one on behalf of your dad? It could be that there's just been an unfortunate set of circs and the others will arrive. I hope.

Original poster
IlanaK · 10/06/2009 21:55

Ok, I just remembered a present and card in the cupboard from a friend. And I am making a nice badge for him to wear. And I will print a card ready for ds1 to write in the morning.

Feeling much better about it now, but still annoyed at relatives.

OP posts:
Noonki · 10/06/2009 21:56

though it's tight of your family I dont think your DC will mind as long as you make a fuss of him.

At that age they won't be 'card counting' they don't really have an expectation of what is normal. I never used to get birthday pressies from my GPs and didn't think anyting of it until I had kids of my own.

Noonki · 10/06/2009 21:58

ps hope you all have a lovely day

mumeeee · 10/06/2009 23:10

He might still get some cards tomorow.

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