to want to cross a bridge in this country without an unpleasant (definitely foreign looking) wee beast threating to eat me

[DeepGoat]

[foams at mouth]

you need to send your big brother over

I think it's the Government- they must be putting something in the water

no big brother is too busy watching us.

god bless margaret thatcher the queen, what did churchill die for!, all none goats should feck off and leave all the grass for us.

I think you are being deeply offensive. No-one else had made a home under my bridge, I am keeping it habitable for future generations. And as for the threatening to eat you bit, well, I apologise for that, but it's me culture, innit? No offense, I'm just doing what generations of family have done before me.
And I only threaten to eat. I wouldn't aksherally touch you with a barge pole. You smell.

You're being racist, it's just because they're foreign looking, isn't it?

Are we so very different Goat?
We're both hairy.....
And I'm quite smelly too.

so trolly can't make out a word you are saying with that fecking accent.

we had some bloody llamas round here last week eating all my grass, dirty feckers spat at me.

Crossing a bridge to get to fresh pastures makes you an economic migrant Goat, so piss off back to your own field and starve.

[head butts littleenglander]

tis ok, just send over the bigger goats, it will fill the beastie, it will fall to sleep with a stuffed bellie, and then you can trot across happily.

or, you could learn the art of chopping things up with the special axe, and cross all bridges without hinder.

of course, I have the special axe, I only lend it out to people who suck up to me I like.

Don't you mean "cross a bridge in MY OWN country"?

I think its deeply unfair to characterize these folk in this way. Next thing you'll be calling them all sorts of names like, ooh 'tube driver', which would be deeply insulting.

actuallym would it not be tube controller, due to the trains being on rails, and therefore not really driven....??

this looks like a nice bridge to settle down under

Some of my best friends are trolls.

is that so you are always guarantee'd to be 'the pretty one' yeahbut

Just pointing out that despite any involuntary posts to the contrary, I can't be trollist if some of my best friends are trolls.
But yes, it does make one feel much better about oneself if one's mates are hairy, fanged mingers.

good planning, ensuring you cannot be accused of being trollist if you like them

do they have hary warts on the end of their noses too??.....they are not real trolls if they don;t have that vital sign you know!!

YABU - If bridge is over water take a boat. Why should the troll change their habits - you should change yours!

but what about the lochness monster babies that are in all the water supply now??

boats won;t help!!!

a nuclear submarine perhaps?

oooh, now you're talking...