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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed dd is at home unwell now ...

15 replies

LIZS · 09/06/2009 09:56

because last week a child in her class came back to school with a nasty virus which is now doing the rounds. I know it comes with the territory but it seems so obvious. Since half term there have been several nasty bugs circulating including a cough which dd started on Friday having gone back perfectly healthy last Monday.

Had a call to pick her up early yesterday and she is still tired and coughing hard today so no school and no work for me. Why didn't the mother keep her dc at home so as not to spread it or the school ask her to collect him. There are several asthmatics among the class , at least one of whom has been off too. As a result of not being well today dd will also miss her tennis and swimming lessons , costing us over £10 .

OP posts:

bruffin · 09/06/2009 10:10

Sounds like what ds 13 had 2 weeks ago , he ended up in hospital after a febrile convulsion. A lot of bugs are spread before you really start to feel unwell and dc may feel okay in the morning and go rapidly downhill during the day as my ds did.
My ds didn't actually have any symptoms of a chest infection other than a temperature. An xray showed up a shadow on his lung.

weegiemum · 09/06/2009 10:15

My dd1 is off today with temp/sore head/sore throat/sore tummy.

Just kind of hoping its not Swine Flu as dh is a doc who has been dealing with it, but he said this morning that he doesn't think that's what it is.

But I have a bored, sick 9 year old hanging about.

epimum · 09/06/2009 10:26

hi lizs,
i know what you mean, my little girl is epileptic and i get fed up of parents sending there dc's in when their clearly not well and pass it on to my dd which in turn causes her to fit, she's home today with a sore throat a cold and a headache as is my ds, they both to different schools/nursary so its obviously going round, but it still winds me up there was a little boy in dd nursary who had streaming eyes and was coughing alot poor boy was cuddled into the nursary nurse apparently they couldnt get hold of his parent to come and collect him,
anyway ynbu

Lancelottie · 09/06/2009 11:04

Well... yes and no.

My little wretches have been ill for the past three weeks between them. Last week I tried sending one back to school as he seemed well enough that morning to be needling the others, and school were questioning his prolonged absence (started being unwell before half term). By lunchtime they'd phoned for us to pick him up again. Sigh.

sarah293 · 09/06/2009 11:24

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Message withdrawn

FenellaFudge · 09/06/2009 11:30

But but but....
You're annoyed that people send their kids to school when they're unwell but you sent your DD when she's had a cough since friday.
How's it different?

NationalFlight · 09/06/2009 11:33

Yanbu.

It's rubbish. Ds is at home again too.

AliGrylls · 09/06/2009 11:45

Liz S,

I don't have children yet but my general philosophy is that if a child is sick (obviously sniffles and runny noses excepted) they should be at home. It sounds completely unfair on all the other children.

It is part of our culture today to prove how brave we all are about illness and it seems like it is now being transferred onto children.

Original poster

LIZS · 09/06/2009 11:51

FF I do take your point which is partly why I asked, but I spoke to her teacher on Friday and she just told me to send in a drink of water as she wasn't "ill"! I'm sure the original boy in question's mum had a similar dilemma, especially after just spending a week with him over half term, but if they had stopped it at source it would n't have spread around. By the time dd started it the damage was done iyswim .

OP posts:

sarah293 · 09/06/2009 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmIrian · 09/06/2009 11:56

It depends on how the 'nasty virus' manifested itself TBH. If my DC had a temperature or D&V they'd stay at home. If thye just had a cough or a cold they wouldn't.

JenniPenni · 09/06/2009 12:01

This is why us childminders have sickness policies in place. You'd be amazed by the incidences of really sick kids being sent to CMs (speaking of them specifically here), as parents say they cannot get time off work to look after their sick child.

If the other kids and/or CM gets sick... there is NO care for anyone, so the parents of the initial sick child has to take leave anyway...

Plus CMs don't (mostly) get paid for sick leave either, so really cannot afford to become ill from a mindee.

We have to be quite firm. Within reason though of course

sarah293 · 09/06/2009 17:13

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Message withdrawn

desertgirl · 09/06/2009 20:32

don't know - we had to be at death's door to be allowed to stay home from school, and that was in the 70s; I suppose I don't think kids should be missing school for relatively 'normal' illnesses, or, given how often they get them, they would miss out on far too much school.

And nursery, school, etc, is and has always been where you get exposed to and catch a heck of a lot of bugs (and build up your immunity bank accordingly).

It must be very difficult though with children who are more sensitive than usual to the normal childhood coughs and colds and are going to end up in hospital or having seizures - don't know what the answer is but surely it can't be keeping kids with colds home from school. Am with OmIrian on what would lead me to keep my kids home (would add things like chicken pox though obviously less common)

Hulababy · 09/06/2009 21:23

It;s a hard one to call though. really it isn't normally necessary tp keep children off school for a cold or cough, unles they are actually ill.

For example, I have had a bad cough for 4 weeks now. I have had two lots of antibiotics for suspected chest infection, and I did have a cold 2.5 weeks ago. I work as a TA in a Y1 class. I missed one day when my cold/cough was really bad, but rest of time, bar half term, I have been in work, working with the children. I do my best to maintain good hygiene obviously, but in such an environment it is impossible all of the time.

My reasoning is that I got it from school - Y1 children have virtually no good hygiene practises when it comes o coughing and sneezing!!! - and I am not ill, just have a horrid nasty violent cough, so I am in work. Can't imagine GP would have signed me off that;s for sure.

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