to flipping hate MIL right now?

[pinkstarfish]

visited for Sunday lunch yesterday, as we do every week. We've never hit it off to be honest, don't know why, we are just poles apart physically, morally, mentally etc. I always take her with a rather huge pinch shovel of salt and leave it at that.

DD likes her, and while we were there yesterday, DD had bit of an accident (tiny bit of wee wee, nothing major), she's 3.1 yrs old, potty trained, but can still be a little ropey at times. MIL then went on at her saying that she doesn't have a clean pair of pants for her, and that she'd have to stay in her smelly underwear for the rest of the day and then went on to say that DD was dirty for going to the toilet in her pants

It was all said tongue in cheek but its not the bloody point. I told her to leave DD alone and to not be so hard on her. Despite saying this, she went on about it for the next hour and would not let it drop, at which point I announced that we were promptly leaving.

DD was fine, didn't even notice, and being so young, don't think even got the just of what the old bag was even saying.

I had to use all my might not to grab the nearest wet fish and wallop it over her head. God knows how I resisted.

AIBU to think that she's a right old rhino's ass?

YANBU - would it be better if your dh took her to his mums on his own. There's no law that says you have to go with him.

She's a right old rhino's ass and testicles.

she was being horrible

It's pathetic when adults say rude and unacceptable things to children 'tongue in cheek' - they think they can get away with it because it was 'only a joke' but it's obvious they mean it!

I think you did exactly the right thing - you told her to leave it, she didn't - so you went.

Give it less time next time, you did well to sit it out for an hour!

I also wouldn't let DH take him there on his own, unless you can be sure that he would leave promptly if his mother did the same thing again - you need to protect her from this kind of thing, especially as she gets older and understands more!

YANBU - she shouldn't talk to your DD like that, tongue in cheek or up other rhino's ass!

well done you for standing up for your DD - she is lucky to have such a top mum

My DH takes DS to his mum's on his own. Because my MIL does that plus she's interfering and doesn't liek me becuae I tell her what I think (I try to do int politely but firm). One thing that really bugs me and I won't stand for it, is that she always TESTS my son ie come and read this book for me, do some writing, don't play with cars all the time do this jigsaw etc etc. she justs wants to pacify herself that he's not being left behind with his peers. She has such a high expectation of him (he's only 5) Always comparing. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

Ahh, yes, that useful tool of haranguing children about their little accidents to the point where they get so anxious and stressed about it, it happens again. Very helpful MIL.