Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really annoyed with DH....

26 replies

elliepac · 07/06/2009 13:24

who has buggered off to bed (at midday when he only got up at 10) because he was in strop for no apparent reason. I've been up with the kids since 5.30am, have had to take washing round to friend's houses because bloody machine broke yesterday, clean/tidy up all while looking after DS 5 and DD 1. He got up, drank some coffee and then played on his computer..nothing else . DS was bugging him to play with him and DD was having a tantrum and he just got up, stomped upstairs and went to bed, without saying a word to me? Add into this that he knew I had work to do this afternoon.

Don't know what to do when he gets up. If I say anything it will just result in an argument which i can do without tbh.

FFS Men!

OP posts:
Niftyblue · 07/06/2009 13:26

Get him out of bed and tell him to grow up
Or better still send the kids in to him

PfftTheMagicDragon · 07/06/2009 13:30

It's not men! Not all men act like this and attributing such behaviour to their gender simply enables them to continue in such a manner. It's just him, he is behaving like a twat.

Don't stand for it!

helsbels4 · 07/06/2009 13:30

I'd send the kids in to him and tell him that you're off out and don't know what time you'll be back!

He's being totally selfish. Don't know what work you have to do but can you go and do it somewhere else?

TrillianAstra · 07/06/2009 13:31

What Pfft said! It's not men. It's that particular man. Some women are just as bad.

Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 13:32

good point magic dragon, i officially change my post to:-

FFS DH

OP posts:
Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 13:34

In fact, I may take the D out of the question because he doesn't feel very darling/dear (never know which one it is) so I officially change my post again to :-

FFS H

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 07/06/2009 13:34

Does he do this often? Is this usual behaviour?

Ronaldinhio · 07/06/2009 13:35

yabu to allow this behaviour to go on in any way

they are your and his children and it is your and his home...this is an equal responsibility

why did you get up with the kids at 5.30 and allow him to lie in bed?

get him up, explain that you need to share responsibility equally and don't waiver from that standpoint for the rest of your days (except if it tips marginally in your favour)

If he doesn't like it continue to explain it calmly and clearly everyday until he gets the message.

Stropping around and causing arguments to get our of responsibilty is a form of bullying and should be stamped out before it has a chance to root

SlartyBartFast · 07/06/2009 13:37

have you never sloped back to bed>?

SlartyBartFast · 07/06/2009 13:38

you did get up pretty early
i think you all need to start the day again

Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 13:39

Before I villify him publicly, he can be a lovely man and is a fantastic father.........however, he can be a complete twat at times. We are v happy 90% of the time but sometimes he is the laziest stroppiest sod i have ever known. And yes it is quite common that if he is stroppy he will sod off to bed leaving me to do anything. (apologies for overuse of words stroppy and sod) He says he does it because he is stressed. Not entirely sure he knows the meaning of the word.

OP posts:
Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 13:41

slartybartfast, you may be right. possibly overreacting because of early get up...not through choice I hasten to add, DD thinks this sleep malarkey is overrated.

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 07/06/2009 13:44

ah well,
you have a rant on here and call him a twat.
i bet you feel better now for the support

Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 13:49

twat twat twat, selfish twat.

You are right. I do feel better.

As a newbie, this mumsnet lark is fab, I feel like i've now had the argument i wanted to have and therefore may now be able to talk about it when he graces me with his presence rather than rant like a raving mad woman. Much more sensible course of action.

OP posts:
Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 13:50

And Ronaldinhio, that's some great advice. Thank you very much.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 07/06/2009 14:03

Yep, MN is fab. You can do the grrrrr here and then be reasonable when he surfaces (but still tell him off, only in a calm measured manner so he can't dismiss you as just being tired and grumpy)

Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 14:11

I shall indeed tell him off, in much the same manner as i do my small children, calmly and slowly to make sure he understands...that he has been a twat

OP posts:
Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 14:12

Oh and apologies for the excessive use of the word twat...don't like to swear too much but sometimes it is the only word that works

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 07/06/2009 14:14

No worries ellie - we are on Mumsnet here, there is lots of swearing with words much worse than twat. You may need to cover your ears eyes occassionally

NeedaNewName · 07/06/2009 14:17

Tis a great place to rant let off steam and have everyone tell you you're right! Mostly allows you time to cool down and get it out your system - just make sure it doesn't make you any angrier!!!!

Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 14:18

I shall have my earplugsblindfolds to the ready (as she wonders what the worst possible word she could hear would be?)

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 07/06/2009 14:22

Uh-oh, you really shouldn't have asked that

Maybe we'll let you off as you are new

Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 14:33

He he. Thanks for appreciating my newbie status. I am now going to peruse other threads to find words that are worse than anything i could imagine

OP posts:
Boys2mam · 07/06/2009 16:39

Is he up yet then?

Original poster
elliepac · 07/06/2009 16:54

Unfortunately yes . He got up and I asked calmly, having vented on here earlier, what had upset him so much earlier on...will not give you gory details but he continued to be even more of a twat and spoke to me in a way I am not prepared to put up with. He then said 'I suppose you're also pissed off because I went to bed?'. If I hadn't have been so angry at this point I think I might well have laughed! Guess where he's gone now......

TWAT.

Am hoping there is some kind of alien monster in there which has kidnapped the soul of my husband. If there is he had better return him soon because the consequences could be dire if not.

OP posts: