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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that DD age 5 was 'taught' about smoking at school ?

27 replies

IcantbelieveImForty · 05/06/2009 10:36

DD1 came home yesterday & told DH that a supply teacher told them how smoking will make their lungs sticky & if they have another one it will kill them. Then, it's ok to try it, but if you like it you mustn't have another one (cross face)

It's healthy eating week - but since when are cigarettes food ?

I'm very annoyed because I think the convesation that went on will draw her attention to smokers...in fact I know it will.

OP posts:
gerontius · 05/06/2009 10:39

Sorry, but I think you probably are being a little U. The teacher told her that smoking's not good for her. And it's not very likely that he he told her that "one is fine, but two will kill". Five-year-olds aren't the most reliable source are they?

spongebrainmaternitypants · 05/06/2009 10:39

I always think in these circumstances it's worth checking what the teacher actually said - you'd be amazed how easy it is for children to get the wrong end of the stick.

I had this happen to me when I was a teacher - parents fuming cos I'd said such and such when I'd said no such thing!

Plus, smoking may have been brought up by another child and not by the teacher at all.

Have a word with your DD's class teacher and put your mind at rest.

Tamarto · 05/06/2009 10:40

YANBU - At 5 she will no doubt pick up the first packet she comes across and light up because of what was said!

mistlethrush · 05/06/2009 10:42

You mean she's got to that age without noticing?

Ds and I were in the park having a cup of tea in at the outside tables as I had the dog with us. Someone on a nearby table lit up and the some of the smoke was coming in our direction. Ds (about 3.5 then), in his usual fairly loud voice, said something like 'Mummy, why is that lady smoking - its not good for you is it - and it doesn't smell nice - eeeerrrrghhhh!'. I agreed with him (quietly that it wasn't good for you and yes, it didn't smell nice, but lets get on with our drinks and why didn't he eat his cookie.... I then had to bite my tongue when the lady in question had a bit of a rant at her companion about children that should be seen and not heard and not something that her children would have done etc etc....

uberalice · 05/06/2009 10:43

YABU. I had a similar conversation with my 5 year old this week. I think they're old enough to know about smoking, and to know how bad it is. It's also important to let them know that smoking one cigarette doesn't kill you - other wise they might get scared / upset if they see an adult they know having a cigarette.

Original poster
IcantbelieveImForty · 05/06/2009 10:49

No she hasn't got to this age without noticing. But, that's quite different from it being introduced in the classroom.

Yes, it could have been another child bringing it up, I hadn't thought of that, so thanks for suggesting.

I have since been informed that it's not part of the agenda.

Appreciate she maybe old enough, but I don't want her worrying about things like that. And, I think, if she needs to hear it, she can hear it from me. She is already very concerned everytime she sees a photo of Madeleine Mccann, asking if she's been found etc.

OP posts:
Gorionine · 05/06/2009 10:50

It might have started with the teacher asking "who knows things that are unhealthy?" a child would answer "cigarettes" and the teacher would have had to work arround it , also she was probably expacting "crisps" or "sweets" as an answer?

I was absolutely fumimng (no pun intended) last week when My Dd(10yo)came back home telling me the BNP people were nasty, (I do agree with the statement BTW) and that she had heard so in school. After investigations , thanks god before I invaded the HT office, she had indeed heard it in school but from friends, not teachers!

islandofsodor · 05/06/2009 10:50

It isn't healthy eating week. It is healthy schools week. At the school we hire at weekends we have seen a spider chart of all sorts of activities planned from PSHE to physical activity to healthy eating to emotional wellbeing.

Kids should be atught about the dangers of smoking. I certainly told mine that it is horrible and makes you poorly from about the age of 3.

I do suspect that what was actually said is not quite what was reported.

londonone · 05/06/2009 10:58

gorionine - There is a teacher on another thread who seems to think it is ok to tell her pupils the BNP are nasty, I have pointed out that that isn't really her role. As a teacher I found it horrifying!

Gorionine · 05/06/2009 11:06

I agree with you Londonone! I do not think politics should be the school worry.

Back home(Switzerand) we used to have "citizenship education" we were taught about referendums and voting Etc... but the teachers would not have dreamed of letting us know their own political views! that is not on IMO.

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/06/2009 11:09

DS1 came home from school yesterday telling me about knuckle dusters, knives and guns.... apparently the police had been in to educate them on the dangers and are coming back to bring them knives to see.... because they really need to see them and get a feel for them to teach them the dangers

londonone · 05/06/2009 11:28

Having sat in on several knife education sessions run by the police I can say that IMO they have been excellent, often somewhat horrific but they do go someway to countering the playground misinformation.

terramum · 05/06/2009 11:46

YABU. I doubt the teacher actually said that it was ok to try smoking...but I would definitely say something to the school to let them know that what they said has been misinterpreted. Last thing you need is a whole class of children growing up thinking it's ok to give smoking a try...

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/06/2009 11:48

Londonone, Whilst I agree, some of the children in ds1's class are already more than knowledgable on knives and guns with 3 of them having a brother, uncle and dad in prison for crimes of these sorts.

londonone · 05/06/2009 11:54

Those are exactly the sort of children who need the alternative input from the police ladyevenstar.

ginormoboobs · 05/06/2009 12:15

YABU
The earlier the better IMO.
if it really bothers you I would mention to the teacher that your child misunderstood and thinks it is ok to try smoking and could she mention that it's not ok.
I hate smoking. I have just watched my gran die from lung cancer. I wish smoking was banned.
My DD , 2.5, tells smokers that it is stinky (I didn't tell her to say that , it is her opinion) and I feel quite pleased when she does it

GentlyDidIt · 05/06/2009 12:24

YABU - it's important that kids know the risks of smoking from an early age. It can also lead to some interesting discussions about freedom of choice...

DD went through a phase aged 4-5 of telling people that they shouldn't be smoking (she was fascinated with her human body flip-flap book, which had a bit about lung damage). I was happy that she knew the risks, but wasn't happy with her ticking adults off. The trickiest bit was helping her to understand that adults have freedom of choice, particularly since half the family are smokers .

Original poster
IcantbelieveImForty · 05/06/2009 13:42

...why are you assuming my daughter misunderstood ? She is clearly told us what the teacher said - until I hear back, I believe my daughter.

If they're talking about their healthy living v unhealthy, there are many more age appropriate subjects, like not eating sweets, drinking fruit shoots, not watching too much tv.

OP posts:
londonone · 05/06/2009 14:15

People are assuming that at 5 your daughter may not be entirely accurate in her reporting of things. The fact you can't understand that that is likely to be the case is your problem.

cory · 05/06/2009 15:39

why is it more age appropriate to be told about fruit shoots than about smoking?

I doubt that my dcs even knew what a fruit shoot was at that age- it was before I'd joined Mumsnet!

but smoking is something you can't miss

ramalama · 05/06/2009 15:50

Echoing what others have posted - try and find out what the teacher actually said..one of the kids might have brought smoking into the conversation and the teacher was just responding

Original poster
IcantbelieveImForty · 05/06/2009 18:43

Cory - because there are fruit shoots at the parties she goes to - no-one ( that I know of) is offering her ciggies !

My Dd has known what fruit shoots where since she was about 20 mths. She had one on a flight to the US - she loved it & it kept her occupied for hours. She knows I don't like them & her alternative is the tropicana drink. Novelty has worn off now of course.

OP posts:
janeite · 05/06/2009 18:48

YABVU.

Original poster
IcantbelieveImForty · 05/06/2009 18:48

Londonone - my problem is my daughter came home stating that it's ok to try a cigarette .

It's not for a teacher to give that impression to my DD. Period.

Agree with other suggestions that if a child brought it up, the teacher should have the experience to say something like, yes, that's very bad, now, what about XYZ.

OP posts:
gerontius · 05/06/2009 22:37

Yes, but you seem to be assuming that the teacher definitely said this, as reported by a five-year-old. People are saying that your DD may have misunderstood, as it's not likely a teacher would have said 'cigarettes are ok if you just have one'.....

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