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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ds left behing after swimming

66 replies

kittybrown · 04/06/2009 09:34

Hi I can't decide if I am being unreasonable or not.

My ds (yr5) is not the fastest changer in the world. He tries but is always last.They had swimming yesterday with the school at the local pool (not public). He was getting changed when the TA said through the door "the coach is going to leave without you" and left him there.
There are two groups and his is the first so he had to wait to be taken back with the other group. He didn't mind the waiting as it got him out of assembly but he did panic about being left.
My problem is I feel he should have got a warning before they left him along the lines of " if you take so long in future the coach will leave without you" or even a 5 minute warning rather than just leving him.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Bettymum · 04/06/2009 09:35

I don't think YABU. I think they should have said, NEXT TIME if you take this long you'll have to go back with the other group. But to leave a 5 year old behind with no warning, and no help to get changed faster??? Poor little thing.

Uriel · 04/06/2009 09:36

YANBU.

If he has problems changing, maybe ask if he can leave the pool 5 minutes earlier to start getting changed?

ingles2 · 04/06/2009 09:37

YAB a little U.
He's 10, he was warned and it's not like he was left with no way of getting back to school.
Hopefully he will remember that little panic next time and get his clothes on quicker.

ingles2 · 04/06/2009 09:37

Betty YR5, not age 5

Nahui · 04/06/2009 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bettymum · 04/06/2009 09:39
belgo · 04/06/2009 09:39

Bettymum - I think the boy is not 5 years old, but 10 years old?

kittybrown - if he is 10 years old, YABU.

belgo · 04/06/2009 09:40

Kittybrown - are you absolutely sure he was not given a warning? How often does he go swimming with the class? Maybe he has been given warnings before?

KingCanuteIAm · 04/06/2009 09:40

Possibly, it is hard to tell. If the school have had to have a conversation with him every time for a long time than I can understand them resorting to more drastic measures! He was not really left behind was he? Just had to get the next coach which is a bit different I think.

I think your best course of action would be to help him find ways to dress quicker, in Y5 he should not really be so much slower than everyone else that they leave. If it was just that the others finished and he still needed to pop his jumper on then you would not be unreasonable but if it is that all the others are done and he still has shoes, socks, hair and a bag to pack then you need to get him speeding up somehow!

Greensleeves · 04/06/2009 09:41

YANBU. There should always be a warning first.

Original poster
kittybrown · 04/06/2009 09:41

He wasn't warned. The TA said through the door "The coach is leaving without you" and left with the coach. I wouldn't mind if they had given him 5 mins.

OP posts:
TsarChasm · 04/06/2009 09:42

Good lord he's only 5! I feel quite annoyed about that come to think of it. My dc would worry if someone said that to them at that age.

Our infant school doesn't offer swimming, only PE and that's challenging enough to manage on the changing clothes front.

Getting yourself dried off and shoes and socks onto damp feet can be tricky.

Do adults help them at all getting dry and dressed?

belgo · 04/06/2009 09:43

he's not FIVE! he's in YEAR 5!

Greensleeves · 04/06/2009 09:43

Year 5, not age 5

belgo · 04/06/2009 09:44

Kittybrown - I think you should speak to the TA and the teacher about this.

KingCanuteIAm · 04/06/2009 09:44

Tsar, he is 10

Kitty, was he warned the last time, or the time before that this might happen at some point?

TsarChasm · 04/06/2009 09:44

Oh lol he's Yr5! Scrub my previous rant then!

belgo · 04/06/2009 09:45

It makes a very big difference those five years

AliGrylls · 04/06/2009 09:45

Maybe a little YABU. It is not like it will have a long term effect on him.

In fact you say that in someways he was happy as he got to miss assembly. In addition, they didn't abandon him completely. In the scheme of things it was only a little shock (although maybe they should have given him a two minute warning to hurry him up).

Maybe you should train him to get changed faster.

duchesse · 04/06/2009 09:47

YABU. He is 10. No lasting damage done. He was not abandoned, merely left for the second coach. If he was bothered, maybe he will speed up in future.

Original poster
kittybrown · 04/06/2009 09:48

Timing is very tight it is always very rushed and stessful for everyone even the quick changers. The coach has to pick the first lot up get across town and then back again to pick the 2nd group up.
They have about 5 mins in which to get changed. He says it was more of a problem this week as they had wet shorts and t-shirts that they'd been swimming in to take off and he got trapped in his wet top.

He has had to chivvied along in the past but has definately never been told they're going and he's got to wait.

OP posts:
saintmaybe · 04/06/2009 09:48

Depends how it was done. If it was as a 'punishment' or the TA was arsey about it i'd be cross, but if it was 'we have to go now, are you ok to get the other bus so you've got time to finish getting changed' it's a bit different. How did he think it was meant? But it would be good to talk to school about it.

ingles2 · 04/06/2009 09:49

having a 9yr old ds myself, I think it's quite possible there were warnings and ds missed them. He's be too busy messing about, chatting to his mates, generally dreaming to listen to what is being said.
As your ds is only a yr away from secondary, you are going to have to get him to speed up.

Greensleeves · 04/06/2009 09:50

Plain mean-spirited not to give him a warning. If they had to leave him behind after that, harsh but fair enough. But they've lost the moral high ground IMO.

belgo · 04/06/2009 09:56

agree with ingles2, which is why I think either kittybrown should speak to the TA to find out what happened, or forget about it.