Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think some schools take things too far!

131 replies

lisad123 · 03/06/2009 20:06

I had asked permission to dd1 out of school for 2 weeks in few weeks times. You have to fill a form in and say why you want holiday. I explained clearly on the form dh has cancer macmillian have paid for a holiday, but needs to fit in with his appointments. This was the 2 weeks that solted in well, was within the funds macmillian had given us.

Well was told it was unlikely, so was surprised when called into heads office, to discuss.

They wanted to tell me no! why the hell didnt they just to me instead of dragging me in to tell me that?? They said they understood it was a difficult time for us, but it was unacceptable to ask for time off especially as we have only just returned from half term. I did explain that dh was having appointments over half term, but she just looked at me!! I prompely left in tear I feel like im the worse parent ever for wanting a break from it all!

I mean even the days and weeks after diagnosis dd1 was in school every day!

I know I discussed this slightly on another thread, but cant believe she dragged me in!! Am I just being an over emotional wreak?? would you deny me some time out??

OP posts:
PremenstrualChickens · 03/06/2009 20:46

Nasty mare. Go on holiday with your lovely family and enjoy yourselves

MadHairDay · 03/06/2009 20:48

That's shocking.
You must just go - but it is worth approaching the governors. They won't necessarily support the head, especially if they are made aware of your circumstances.
Some people don't have an ounce of humanity.
Go, and enjoy your family holiday.

janeite · 03/06/2009 20:53

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

This sounds like a headteacher who has been told she's got to reduce her absence rate and is therefore trying to fit everybody into the same hole, so as to try and scare everybody into compliance.

Sometimes headteachers need to be tough on absences and I am normally an absolute zealot on no family holidays in term-time but your case is so clearly different to the norm of parents taking children out and really should be discussed on its own merit.

Hulababy's advice is spot on - do it as a formal typed letter and send one to the head, one to the chair of governors and one to the attendance office or ESW.

Heated · 03/06/2009 20:57

Excellent letter Onebat. If you send it lisad123, put in too that Cancer Macmillan have funded the holiday.

I'm a teacher & I don't know any head who would behave so crassly.

Go and enjoy your holiday.

BoffinMum · 03/06/2009 21:05

I think this head teacher has forgotten that the school is there for the pupils, and not the other way around.

I hope you have a lovely holiday and manage to forget about her.

duchesse · 03/06/2009 21:18

lisad- just take the time anyway. The head is being an insensitive cow.

ByTheSea · 03/06/2009 21:18

I haven't read post other than the OP, but I'm outraged at the head. Go on the holiday and forget the school.

pranma · 03/06/2009 21:35

Do go,I am an ex teacher and school governor and have had breast cancer.Please take the holiday and make some wonderful memories for your family.I hope your dh makes a full recovery but you should not miss this chance and the head teacher is wrong.

Nahui · 03/06/2009 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
lisad123 · 03/06/2009 23:13

thanks girls and boys, thought for a minute i was being an emotional idiot (its been a bad day).

Will def do a letter on my return, but I dont know what use it would be tbh, the school has a poor level of absence, which i understand. I know a lot of parents dont even ask anymore as no point, they always say no
I have asked her class teacher (shes yr 1 btw) if anytyhing she will miss, and she said dont worry.
We have loads of day trips planned, steam train, zoo, fruit picking, swimming (as long as dh is feeling up to it), which I think will be fab for the girls.
In all honesty we are positive Darren will do well and they are hoping for remission in a year, but its been so hard the last 2 months, i need a holiday and so does everyone else.

OP posts:
sunnydelight · 03/06/2009 23:20

I appreciate you probably don't want your private life splashed all over the paper, but your local paper would have a field day with this if you chose to go to them. I would also write to your MP to highlight how this ridiculous "one size fits all" absence policy is. You go and have an absolutely wonderful holiday, you deserve it.

Original poster
lisad123 · 03/06/2009 23:22

Im not too fussed tbh I have a blog, i know its read by some, so i have no private life atm

OP posts:
chegirl · 03/06/2009 23:27

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!

Bastard school.

Have a lovely time, you need a break. You all need to recharge and rest.

My DS's school phoned to ask when he was going to be back as he had a few days off school. Could I phone them asap as they were concerned at his absence blah blah.......

This was a couple of days after I had explained that we were taking him out of school for a while. He was going to stay at my mums as his sister was dying [at home] and he needed to get away.

I think the problem is that people do not LISTEN or really attended to what you are telling them.

Silly bint at your LO's school probably just saw 'we would like to tak LO out of school...' and stopped paying attention.

I hope you have a nice time on holiday and I wish your DP all the very best for his treatment x

discoball · 03/06/2009 23:27

Have just scanned through this post and am UTTERLY disgusted.... I wonder how the "Head" (I use that term lightly) would react (God forbid) if she found herself in similar circumstances. What on earth could be SO important that you might miss at 6 YEARS OLD?!! Of course you all need a holiday and thoroughly deserve it. I hope very much for your dh's treatment goes well and I think you can tell whose side we're all on!! Far from (as far as the school are concerned), doing something wrong, you have put your family first, which has to be applauded - NOTHING comes above that, not even school!!! Very best of luck.

Original poster
lisad123 · 03/06/2009 23:34

chegirl, thats terrible, hope you told them where to stick it

OP posts:
saggyhairyarse · 03/06/2009 23:42

Appeal to the Governors and go anyway, sod them!!! (Says the Governor )

islandofsodor · 03/06/2009 23:49

Excellent letter.

I can not beleive a school can be so unsympathetic when so many others have a cavalier attitude to education.

Your dd will gain much more from this holiday than she will lose from missing the week at school.

cory · 04/06/2009 08:04

We had a headteacher with a very similar attitude. He let dd's friends go on holiday with their mum who had terminal cancer, but then wrote snide remarks on their school report about their attendance. He called in social services about my dd's attendance record, though he knew perfectly well she had a medical condition that made her unable to attend school. He kept making remarks like "of course we realise that x is ill, but you can't expect us to be happy about it".

With hindsight, I would be far firmer with them. Write more official-type letters, get the school governors involved etc. Don't leave it with this one busy-body.

But it was only afterwards that I realised that everybody I spoke to was shocked at his attitude. At the time I was wondering if maybe this was how things were.

So go for it- show her up.

piscesmoon · 04/06/2009 08:16

I am a teacher and am appalled. Our LEA has told schools not to grant holidays in term time -except in exceptional circumstances- but I think any Head would give authorised absence in your case. Just go-it is much more important for your DC than the week in school.

growingup · 04/06/2009 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PuppyMonkey · 04/06/2009 08:24

Yes your local paper WILL be interested in this story. Where do you live Lisa? Just out of interest.

seeker · 04/06/2009 08:32

I am a school governor of a school that is trying to clamp down on taking holidays in term time. I am also, as I've said on other threads, personally opposed to taking children out.
However, I would have NO PROBLEM at all with this, and neither would our school - we would be wishing you a happy holiday and asking whether our discretionary "slush" fund could do anything to help you. And as a governor, if I heard that the Head had said no, I would be in there like a shot telling him how wrong he was. It is outrageous that you have been told "no". Go to the governors, then the local paper.

Good luck - go on holiday and have a lovely time.

LovingTheRain · 04/06/2009 09:16

I'd take her anyway if i were you.

Though going to the governors and the local paper aswell couldn't hurt! The school is being far too mean and out of order!

rookiemater · 04/06/2009 09:26

Gosh poor OP, this is so different from the other thread re school holidays. You should be able to take your DCs on holiday in these circumstances, to refuse it seems so lacking in basic humanity as to be untrue. Agree with loving take it up with the governors.

AliGrylls · 04/06/2009 09:29

If I were the school governor I wouldn't deny you the holiday. In fact I think it is rather outrageous.

If she needed hospital appointments she would need time off school - so in some respects you could argue that she would need the time off regardless it is just a question as to whether it is because she has hospital appointments or it is a holiday.

Swipe left for the next trending thread