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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be bloody annoyed with next door neighbour?

85 replies

Deemented · 02/06/2009 17:52

Have been living here about 5 months now, and neighbour to the right of me has been very welcoming and friendly, although a little too much so at times, if i'm honest. I've had to take to putting the latch on the door when i'm in as she was just walking in without knocking - and i'm just not used to that, tbh.

Have also had to put a front gate up to get to my part of the house as her dog kept coming in and poohing in my garden meaning that ds couldn't go out and play as often as he liked. Not one for confrontation much, but when i questioned her about the dog all she said was...'oh it's not my dog that's doing it' I juist left it at that and a friend came and helped me build a gate which means that her ndog now shits in her own garden

Anyways, today i've been busy in the house a lot, and i could hear her pottering out the back - our houses are joined by the upstairs only, theres a small alleyway running between our kitchens, leading to both our back gardens, i have a gate on mine which is always latched so the boy cant get out - anyways, she's just knocked on my back door and asked what did i think - she's only cut down the privet hedges that divide our proprty from each other!!! She said that she wasn't getting enough sunlight, and now she will!!

I am so annoyed. My back garden is far from perfect - it needs a lot of work doing to it, but i loved the high privet as it gave me a sense of privacy and 'my own place in the world'. Now i'm going to have her dog coming in and shitting all over the place, and i'm not sure about letting ds play out the back as i'm worried he'd wander as he's really inquisitve. I can't afford to get fence panels to put up either.

I'm going to have to say something, aren't i?

OP posts:

Mybox · 04/06/2009 07:34

Do you have to take the chicken wire down? Would have thought it showed you were having to protect your ds from her dog.

Original poster

Deemented · 04/06/2009 07:37

I don't have to, but i'm worried that if i don't the council will think it adequate and not refence it...

OP posts:

rupertsabear · 04/06/2009 07:44

Just to say, you should write to the council, listing all your concerns in a rational way, and listing the things your neighbour has done and when, and recording the phone call you had with the woman from the council, when it was, who she was, and what she undertook to do. Keep a copy of the letter and any reply. Often inspectors don't turn up and you need to be able to demonstrate that you really have a problem and you're acting on it.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 04/06/2009 07:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MANATEEequineOHARA · 04/06/2009 07:49

OMG she sounds awful. I would just be furious, actually I am, just reading about it! Awkward also in that you have to live next door to her, but she needs to know, what a bloody loon! It is like she just decided to have your garden too, seriously crazy!

unavailable · 04/06/2009 07:56

Gosh, I cant believe your neighbour did this and then asked you to contribute to the cost. I dont think she sounds mad, actually, I think she is very calculating and this is a big power play - to let you know she is in charge and things are done her way.

Perhaps you should follow up the phone call to the council with a letter, just so you have this documented, and state that you need it dealt with in a very timely way as it is a health and safety issue (not secure for your son, dog and his poo now having free range in your garden etc.)As the landlord, the council have a duty to carry out repairs within an acceptable timeframe. (Although they would be within their rights to charge your neighbour for this.)I think someone coming out to have a look in the next 4 weeks is too long, and you should request sooner.

It is unlikely your neighbour has had a radical personality change just as you moved in, so its worth trying to find out how things were with the people in the house before you. Have there been complaints about her in the past?

Sorry, I dont mean to be the voice of doom here, but I think you should be careful in dealing with her and document everything. It could get a bit tricky when she isnt getting her way.

Longtalljosie · 04/06/2009 08:15

Sadly, I think unavailable is right, it is a power play. I don't think you'll ever have a friendly relationship with this woman so you'll have to be blunt.

Ask why she took the boundary down just after you'd put up a gate - say it should have been perfectly clear you wanted a private garden, and now she's destroyed the boundary it's her responsibility to put up another one, and to ensure her dog never craps in your garden. Once the wire is up, say that you're still expecting her to provide something more permanent.

womma · 04/06/2009 09:48

Record everything and take pictures every time the dog craps in your garden.
What is it with people? Just because someone lives in a place longer than you do makes them get all territorial. Beeeezarrre.
Anyway, good luck OP.

Original poster

Deemented · 04/06/2009 15:48

So, have spent most of the afternoon putting up a 4ft high chicken wire fence. I made sure i put it on 'my' half of the boundary. I then went through the garden and picked up seven piles of dogshit, which i put into a carrier bag. Then i knocked on her front door.

I gave her the bag, and said that her dog had done these in my garden since she had removed the boundary, they were relatively fresh if she wished to check, and explained that i'd put the chicken wire up so that my boy couldn't get out and wander. I then lrft her stood there with her mouth open whilst i came back inside!

I'm not sure if i'll be that brave again, but i think she may have gotten the point!!!

Reality - you are more then welcome to come get shouty assertive on my behalf!!

OP posts:

Stigaloid · 04/06/2009 16:02

punches fist in the air

Hurrah Deemented! Well done you!

bellavita · 04/06/2009 16:04

Pats Deemented on the back, well done

Buda · 04/06/2009 16:15

Well done you. She sounds an absolute charmer. I would have loved to see the look on her face.

AddictedtoCrunchies · 04/06/2009 16:24

Well done you!!! Do that everytime you get some poo and hopefully she'll realise you mean business.

womma · 04/06/2009 16:32

Oh Brilliant Deemented!! That must have felt so good!

AnarchyAunt · 04/06/2009 16:42

Oh you star!!

BitOfFun · 04/06/2009 16:49

Wow, that was brilliant work, well done!

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 04/06/2009 16:56

Been following this thread, bloody brilliant hope you're giving yourself a massive pat on the back WELL DONE

(oh and PMSL at the [shock} face)

MANATEEequineOHARA · 04/06/2009 17:22

Well done That is fantastic!

Northernlurker · 04/06/2009 19:01

Very classy - clear, firm, fair and wickedly clever. Deemented - you are a perfect poster woman for Mumsnet

chegirl · 04/06/2009 20:05

Well Done DEE!!!!!!!

Hope it all goes your way.

sobanoodle · 04/06/2009 20:15

Cheering here too !

Don't forget to update us...

wotulookinat · 04/06/2009 20:24

Good for you Deemented! Fabulous!
Let's hope the council pull their finger out soon and sort out a fence.

trixymalixy · 04/06/2009 22:53

Good for you!!!!!

Jux · 04/06/2009 23:28

Way to go Deemented!

nessus · 04/06/2009 23:38

Deemented forgive me for laughing but your neighbour sounds like she could try a saint! I have to say that this is one situation where I would say that one needs to start out the way they mean to go on and the past few months has unfortunately given her the wrong idea. You need to let her know that she is pure and simply impeding on your personal space and needs to fix up sharpish! Actually, I realise that not everyone is as confrontational as I am lol You need to let her know in plain english what she is doing wrong, how it is affecting your family, how it can be bettered and how you would like to continue with the neighbourly relationship.

I have a brand new neighbour myself and I am waiting to see how the first 6months pan out because I know it will dictate what is to come but trust I won't put up with any rubbish and I don't think anyone should have to!

HTH!

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