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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be bloody annoyed with next door neighbour?

85 replies

Deemented · 02/06/2009 17:52

Have been living here about 5 months now, and neighbour to the right of me has been very welcoming and friendly, although a little too much so at times, if i'm honest. I've had to take to putting the latch on the door when i'm in as she was just walking in without knocking - and i'm just not used to that, tbh.

Have also had to put a front gate up to get to my part of the house as her dog kept coming in and poohing in my garden meaning that ds couldn't go out and play as often as he liked. Not one for confrontation much, but when i questioned her about the dog all she said was...'oh it's not my dog that's doing it' I juist left it at that and a friend came and helped me build a gate which means that her ndog now shits in her own garden

Anyways, today i've been busy in the house a lot, and i could hear her pottering out the back - our houses are joined by the upstairs only, theres a small alleyway running between our kitchens, leading to both our back gardens, i have a gate on mine which is always latched so the boy cant get out - anyways, she's just knocked on my back door and asked what did i think - she's only cut down the privet hedges that divide our proprty from each other!!! She said that she wasn't getting enough sunlight, and now she will!!

I am so annoyed. My back garden is far from perfect - it needs a lot of work doing to it, but i loved the high privet as it gave me a sense of privacy and 'my own place in the world'. Now i'm going to have her dog coming in and shitting all over the place, and i'm not sure about letting ds play out the back as i'm worried he'd wander as he's really inquisitve. I can't afford to get fence panels to put up either.

I'm going to have to say something, aren't i?

OP posts:
fruitshootsandheaves · 02/06/2009 19:44

you should pop round every 10 minutes for 2 weeks asking to borrow sugar, onions, tampons, condoms etc then borrow 3 rottweillers for a few days and ask her if she's like to breed from her dog. She'll have a fence up before you know it!

kittykat765 · 02/06/2009 19:53

YANBU. How did she cope with the supposed lack of light she got previously when the hedge was growing? (I presume it didn't spring up fully formed one night!) Mad cow.

chegirl I'd have smacked the cow back if she'd have hit my son.

Saltire · 02/06/2009 19:58

I think she's bonkers. BTW am a bit astounded at the replies you have had, only becasue I had a slightly similar situation with my tennant last year and was told that she lived there she could do wwhat she wanted. She gave permission for someone to take down the fence surrounding our garden (its a 4 way plot, each garden clearly fenced off) so that the whole thing is open plan, they also took down our outside boundary fence and now every man and his dog can walk across our garden, the people underneath have a dog which shits everywhere, and there are toys and swings and god knows what else on what is now a communal piece of lawn (not for much longer though as we ahve it in hand to reinstate the fence). But when I came on here and complained I was told "oh you can't do anything she lives there she can do what she wants" and "well if she wants the fence removed then wh6y are you complaining"

chegirl · 02/06/2009 21:23

kittykat it was all I could do not to but we were moving out and I was glad to see the back of the old cow. She also used to tell people my husband beat her up and my DS pee'd on her doorstep.

I took the high ground (oh and I phoned the local social work for the elderly team and told them they had better sort her out before I had her evicted for her racist abuse)

GodzillasBumcheek · 02/06/2009 21:48

Saltire - was this before the Christmas bust up or after IYSWIM? (I only found out about the oldies website recently - i must've been hiding under a rock or somethign).

bellavita · 03/06/2009 13:40

Deemented - how have you got on today, did you phone the council?

fizzpops · 03/06/2009 13:50

Sounds like she is counting on the fact that you haven't been there long to push things as far as they will go and see what she can get away with. She has probably wanted to this for years but knew that it wouldn't wash, maybe as you didn't say anything about the dog and her walking into your house before she has you down as a bit of a soft touch.

Perhaps you need to nip things in the bud or where will it all end?

Saltire · 03/06/2009 14:25

godzilla - before.

TwoScrambled · 03/06/2009 17:36

Dont forget to give her back the dog poo every time! In a crumpled tissue perhaps?

Original poster
Deemented · 03/06/2009 18:11

Have spoken with a lovely lady at the council who is sending an inspector out to assess it. Within a month .

I guess i'm worried about raking up trouble, you know? I have to live here, and it would seem that NDN has lived here all her life - her parents live two doors away and her sister and brother live across from us. But this morning i did give her short shrift - she knocked on the door asking did i want to go halves in hiring a shredder for the day to shred the privets she took down. I told her no... that i wasn't sure why she had taken them down in the first place, and that i'd be looking to put up something to stop my ds wandering over in her garden - she told me not to bother, that he'd be fine, but i said i wasn't happy and she just shrugged and left.

Not sure where to go from here.

OP posts:
Jux · 03/06/2009 18:28

Well, I think you dealt with her well this morning, and certainly don't agree to spending any money.

I would phone the council every time you find the dog in the garden. Just keep bothering them. The inspector might just get there a bit quicker.

When he/she does turn up stress the dangerous dogs and children aspect, and that every dog can 'turn', you never know! (don't mean to frighten you.). They will hate the idea that they could be held responsible for your child being hurt so will be more likely to get things moving and replacement boundary sorted.

Meanwhile, do you have anything at all you can mark the boundary with? She may be trying to enlarge her garden by stealth.

Good luck.

bellavita · 03/06/2009 18:29

Just because NDN has lived there all her life does not give her permission to do as she pleases, god I hate people like that.

And as for going halves on a bloody shredder...

Just a shame you did not take that opportune moment instead of saying about ds wandering over, that actually you want something between you to stop her dog crapping in your garden.

bellavita · 03/06/2009 18:30

Well done though, for ringing the council.

Longtalljosie · 03/06/2009 18:43

Do you want to pay for half the shredder?!

Mad old bint...

roulade · 03/06/2009 20:47

Can you get some chicken wire or something to stop the dog temporarily whilst waiting for a permanent replacement? Forgive me if this is a stupid idea!!!!

AnarchyAunt · 03/06/2009 20:51

She sounds like a territoral loon!

Could you try Freecycle for some fence panels as a temporary measure maybe? Or chicken wire would be better than nothing.

Original poster
Deemented · 03/06/2009 20:58

I've got some chicken wire on the way - my dads mate has some he said i could have so will go pick it up tomorrow, aqnd try to put it up whilst ds is in nursery. Though i'm a bit worried about her reaction. But sod it.

OP posts:
Jux · 03/06/2009 23:29

Yeah, sod her reaction. If she kicks off just phone the cops.

staylucky · 04/06/2009 01:20

I hate to sound negative but it's really really unlikely that the council will put up a fence. It's possible that they work differently in your area, but in mine we have to sort out our own boundaries no matter what. There are people down my street with 8 foot drop offs within their gardens into a main road, kids and no offers from the council to make safe. They just don't have the sort of money needed to make basic repairs let alone tidy up after every lunatic that decides to destroy perfectly sound boundries.

I think your only option is to kill her dog

Maninadirndl · 04/06/2009 01:35

Get a dog yerself and let it shit all over her lawn.

If it doesn't, make sure no one is looking and take a plop yourself in the middle of the lawn.

Joking aside I have the terror of a seven year old screaming to play with my kids from next door. She comes and eats all our expensive ice cream. (We've since bought some Aldi stuff in case she comes, the greedy little cow).

Mspontipine · 04/06/2009 01:48

I love Aldi ice cream - get some orange in and I'll be round too!!

Lusi · 04/06/2009 02:33

Jump on it - straight away - pester the council, put your chicken wire up and be honest and firm with her - tell her that you would really prefer a boundary for the safety of your son...(covers the poo, the dog could get nasty and your son could wander off) and that she knocks before coming in your house etc. Also make it clear that in future she should talk to you first before doing anything that affects your property (sounds like she thinks she was doing you a favour..)
I have a neighbour from hell (I have had to call the police)... I have had loads of problems with him - for example he thinks he has the right to come into my garden to prune my tree so I have no privacy and he has a better view - but complains if I trim the other side of the same tree so I have more light- sounds petty but believe me I wish I would have been braver and told him to leave my property alone in no uncertain terms a long time ago - if I say anything now he says he has always 'helped' me (like by putting weed killer and then plants on my path which is fenced off but runs down the back of his garden...when I asked him to stop (I'd rather not use pesticides with a small child and a cat) - he then tried to convince me someone had been to do a survey and it wasn't our path - I think he thought if he 'maintained' it long enough he could claim ownership).
If I had been more forceful in the first place - I didn't want conflict - he wouldn't have got away with so much and I wouldn't have such a problem now...I really have had to put my foot down
He is the end terrace so we are his only direct neighbours but we now know all our other neighbours have had problems with him...and your neighbours will probably sympathise with you and be supportive...you probably aren't the first person to have a problem with her...

savoycabbage · 04/06/2009 04:44

If you put up the chicken wire make sure that the council know that it is a temporary thing to keep the dog away from your ds, you want the council to pay for a proper fence so she can't see in your garden. You don't want them to see the chicken wire and think that that is good enough.

She does sound like a total loon but I would try not to fall out with her. It can make things very difficult when you don't get on with your neighbours. We fell out with ours a few years ago when my dh had the audacity yo be black. It made our lives unbearable. Our neighbour now is off her rocker but I am careful to be civil to her.

Original poster
Deemented · 04/06/2009 06:44

Thanks for all the advice and replies. When i spoke to the lady at the council yesterday, they said they would ring me a day or so before the inspector comes out, so as to make sure i'm in - when she does, i'll make sure the chickenwire convieniently dissapears into the shed

OP posts:
rimmer08 · 04/06/2009 07:28

TANBU. the people who own the house next to me are snooty fuckers and have all sorts of issues with driveway boundaries so i know a little of how you feel. plus i hate people just walking in my house also- not even my parent or ILs do that.

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