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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset with MIl to keep insisting DD keeps her knickers on?

14 replies

BayeauxT · 31/05/2009 21:00

DD is 4 and on a nice day like today has a habit of taking her knickers off, usually followed by her clothes - she just doesn't like the feel of them. MIL is 80-going-on-100 and just keeps on and on about how she should wear knickers and it's "disgusting"... I don't want to make a big deal of it to DD - she's only little still and so what if she's a nudist! What can I say to MIL instead of "just get over it", which is what I usually end up saying, and not very conducive to good family relations?

OP posts:

moondog · 31/05/2009 21:03

Smile and say 'Oh we don't worry about things like that. Whip 'em off darling,let the air get to your privates!'

giantkatestacks · 31/05/2009 21:04

Who's house was it? If its her house and she doesnt like it then just get your 4 year old to put some knickers on - if its your house then you can tell your MIL to stick it (and have a word with her about her unhelpful language)...

Surely she got sunburnt today though - mine had to be covered head to foot - they are very fair though...

giantkatestacks · 31/05/2009 21:05

tsk sorry have been drinking whose

traceybath · 31/05/2009 21:05

Well in the garden fine - not so fine in waitrose

DS1 also 4 was naked in paddling pool but then got dressed again to play.

violethill · 31/05/2009 21:07

Agree with giant.

There's a time and a place.

I think it's thoughtless and disrespectful (to the child) to encourage them to think stripping off all over the place is ok.
But in your house or garden, then ok. Though I would be very concerned with such sunny weather re: sunburn.

GypsyMoth · 31/05/2009 21:09

Might become an issue if she does this in school. It's not acceptable then so she's going to need boundaries set on this, sooner rather than later!

MaggieBee · 31/05/2009 21:13

Yeah my Mum is the same, but the thing is, in her house I guess, if my Mum wants us to wear knickers for supper then it's not too much too ask. My dd knows that I don't get too stressed about it, but I think she's getting it that older people and people outside of the family might think knickers were a pre-requisite! so that's not all bad.

Original poster

BayeauxT · 31/05/2009 21:16

Top-to-toe coverage in factor 40 suncream (our house) - but yes, you're right about school Tiffany - she starts this year and I do need to make her realise she can't just do it wherever she pleases (although it is really just at home she does it)... I just don't want to her to develop ISHOOS with her body ifykwim and think there is something dirty about being naked...

OP posts:

Morloth · 31/05/2009 21:17

I don't think it is disgusting but if you are at your MIL's house I think it is a bit rude to continue to do something that she finds unpleasant. If it is YOUR house however you can tell you MIL she either gets over it or goes home.

howtotellmum · 31/05/2009 21:20

long live naked children-plenty of time when they are older to be covered up.
Tell her she should try it more often.

Jux · 31/05/2009 21:25

Your house, your rules. Our dd was exactly the same and even when she started school would get her kit off as soon as she got home - still likes to wear as little as poss, as much naked flesh as poss and she's 9, nearly 10, now.

Just make it clear that it's fine to do it at home (we also made a rule not to take her knickers off when we had visitors who weren't family); we were happy for her to do it at the beach as well but kept a very close eye on her there, of course.

She's old enough to understand when it's OK to do it and when it's not.

howtotellmum · 31/05/2009 21:34

I just love seeing kids being so at ease with their nakedness...

some never get over it- see the thread about naked (almost) shoppers and bare, hairy chested men.

SolidGoldBrass · 31/05/2009 21:38

I think at 4 your DD should be starting to understand that sometimes we have to do things we don't really want to do out of consideration for other people (so when out in public she should keep her knickers on etc), but as others have said, if she wants to be bare-arsed in her own home she is entitled to be.

violethill · 31/05/2009 21:46

Agree solid. There is a huge spectrum between making a child feel nakedness is 'dirty' and allowing them to fling off their clothes anywhere. Apart from anything else, i actually believe it's as disrespectful to the child to encourage them to flaunt themselves naked indiscriminately as it is to make them feel there is something shameful in it.

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