to sack a godmother?

[Vizzle]

So, I have a small baby and had asked a family friend to be godmother.

But I just witnessed her being so horrible to my mum and read an even more horrible email she sent her. They've now fallen out. My mum's lovely, by the way.

Do I:

a) do nothing and see what happens

b) email her and tell her I've changed my mind

c) email her and tell her I've changed my mins because she's a foul-mouthed monster, and tell her she's been replaced by a gay man, who'll now be fairy godmother?

What's the etiquette?

merry and spam

sorry, but the SNPO just makes me think "sanpro"

Our kids have not been christened, even though we are active CHristians, as we are Baptist and believe that they should be allowed to make up their own minds re: baptism when they are older. So they don't actually have godparents, but there are many adults with a role in their lives, so I'm happy with that.

I apologise lowrib, I thought you had got your kids christened in church

Back-up parent is awful!

No worries bigchris I totally agree it's not on to actually Christen your kids in church if you don't believe in it.

LovelyTinOfSpam it is isn't it?!

I should have said though apart from "Life Guardian" I'm pretty sure the others were tongue in cheek!

What the early Christians did is adapt the then-current traditions and beliefs into their own religion.

What people who baptise their children when they don't belive in God, is lie. The whole point of a baptism is to bring a child into God's family. I can't understand why you want to do that if you're not religious.

I've got no problems with people adapting current ceremonies - get married in a lovely country hall and have a naming ceremony in your garden. Partaking in the culture and tradition and missing out the religious bit is fine. Just don't stand up and say you believe in God when you don't... It's hypocritical and when there are valid and meaningful alternatives, it's unnecessary.

For 'you' please read 'one'...

Sorry OP got a bit distracted there!

I reckon you should definitely "sack" her and start again with someone better cut out for the job. As your LO is just a baby, now's the time to do it!

PolkSaladLucie I agree entirely.

However many non-religious people nominate 'Godparents' without actually going anywhere near a church. This is what many of my friends have done - their DC aren't actually baptised but they do have people in their life called 'Godparents'.

DD doesn't have any godparents, significant chosen elders, SNPOs, PCSOs or MPs or anything.

She does however have a fine selection of 2 uncles and 3 aunts who I'm sure would step into the breach if it came to it

I am very, very close to 5 children (from 3 different families), in the event of the death of both parents of any of the kids, I would be their 'Legal Guardian' and in the meantime have done of the non-religious things that are fun (have them to stay, taken them on holiday, spoilt them rotten, loved them to death) and have a special relationship with each of them. I tend to call them my Godaughters/Godsons for want of a better term when defining the relationship is required. I don't like doing it as it's not correct and I am not religious, but it's a 'term/relationship' that other people understand.

Have come to the conclusion that christenings are akin to 'white' weddings in church. It has nothing to do with religion
just the pomp & ceremony that goes after .

At our ds's naming ceremony, which had no religious element at all, we had two close friends who promised to guide and support him, who I think were referred to as mentors. I think this term was suggested by the lady from the British Humanist Society who conducted the service.

Hey, fancy your DH bearing a grudge about that fiver all those years ago Maryz!!!

Weegie - us too! Though I was baptised both as an infant and as a teen (my choice) - used to go to a church which insisted that you should NEVER be baptised as an adult if you'd been dunked as a child. Utterly bizarre. The whole point, surely, is showing that this is your choice? It's at times like that that I am oh-so-grateful that God isn't a human being; we make up so much cack to complicate life unnecessarily!

PolkSalad - I also agree with you that when people make vows/ statements in church because they want the tradition without the belief, it's hypocritical. I think the responsibility there lies not just with the individuals doing this, but also with the ministers/ church organisations which allow this (I believe in the C of E vicars have no choice? Maybe someone can correct me here). However what others choose to do simply does not devalue my choices about christening, wedding vows, etc.

Interesting MrsMerryHenry - went to church this morning, it was our new vicar's first service. I was talking to him afterwards with someone who is getting baptised at the same time as her daughter. She is a regular church goer but does not live in the parish. He said he would be delighted to baptise her daughter but because she doesn't live in the parish he will have to see she is a regular attender. If she lived in the parish, she could go once a year and be entitled...

I see what you mean about others' choices not effecting you, but for me, I've gone through some tough times with my relationship with God, and it's something I work at. It's like someone being given a 1st class honours degree without working would effect the way I see my degree...

And can I ask why you chose to be baptised as an adult as apposed to being confirmed...