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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think i may have just made a tit of myself....

13 replies

brrreathe · 26/05/2009 14:06

after an incident at work earlier when someone tried to make me look aan idiot infront of the other staff.

i confronted the person at nursery pick up time hopinfg to look like i was the kind of person who would not take that kind of crap of people but i think i may have made it worse.

i am worried in case i have not made myself out to be the 'strong' type and have actually made myself look a fool

OP posts:
Original poster
brrreathe · 26/05/2009 14:07

why cant i be one pf these people who can put across a good argument

OP posts:
flubdub · 26/05/2009 14:07

Well.....you need to tell us what it was about?

luvoneson · 26/05/2009 14:11

we need more info, few more details please.

Original poster
brrreathe · 26/05/2009 14:15

sorry that was pretty vague.

basically something was not upto the boss's standerds this morning and raher than pull me aside he had a go at me in front of the other staff.

he had a meeting when i left so i could not put my side over and i caught him at nursery pick up time (so not proffesional i know) i put accross why i wont be talked to like but then said that i no longer wanted the extra responsibilities (sp?) that i had been given latley, because i get no extra pay/thanks and am not being talked to like that for things not being done right when i never asked for more responsibilities (sp?) in the first place.

i am now stressing wondering if it sounded like i think i am not up to the job rather than thinking i am up to it but wont take the crap that comes with it.

sorry i wont be making any sense, just hate peole thinking they can make a fool of me in front of others.

OP posts:
Original poster
brrreathe · 26/05/2009 14:16

my god!! please ignore all the typos.

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 26/05/2009 14:22

Yes it was a mistake choosing a setting outside work to confront a work matter. Were you trying to give your boss a taste of his own medicine, by embarrassing him in front of people?

If I were you I would apologise for that as soon as possible but explain that you were left feeling humiliated by his earlier treatment of you, which made you act in an out of character manner.

Original poster
brrreathe · 26/05/2009 14:26

no i asked if i could have a quiet word away from all the other parents. we actually ended up standing next to my car.

i wuld never talk to anyone like in with other people present, that was the whole reason i wanted to bring it up.

OP posts:
PfftTheMagicDragon · 26/05/2009 14:35

You should not have talked to him like that outside work, if you had an issue that you needed to take up with him you should have made an appointment to see him alone at work.

Of course, he should not have talked to you like he did in front of others, it was very unprofessional but any high ground you had has now been shattered.

Stinkermink · 26/05/2009 14:44

Your course of action should have been to lodge a grievance against your manager. This can be done by talking through the issue with HR or another appropriate person within your organisation. You are right, he should not have critized you in front of a group of people. But I don't know the background to this, how clear he was when explaining the task, how long you should have taken to complete it. If you asked for help. And finally if you felt out of your depth why didn't you bring it up sooner?

Just some of the questions that a reasonable HR professional might ask you if you did lodge a complaint. However, I think you might just have to go back into your manager and apologise now. Then calmly explain the issues that you have with your role. If you don't make that appointment first, you can be pretty sure he'll be calling you into his office first thing!

luvoneson · 26/05/2009 14:46

You are making perfect sense. He should not have spoken to you regarding that matter in front of other people. Very unprofessional on his part. I think you were right to catch him whereever it was. I worked in the city (London) as a broker for seventeen years and being a hard faced lot up there, if you have an issue with someone you deal with it wherever you may be. Wine bar, walking down the street etc. Sounds like a twonk to me. Dont worry about it at least he knows you have got some balls. He might treat you with a bit more respect in future. You are up to the job you just wont be treated like a mug. Good Luck

Original poster
brrreathe · 26/05/2009 14:51

there is no hr department or 'office' the place is technically a joke.

sorry was just venting after a crap day, will just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow.

if i had left it until the next time we are in work together clients would have been there as well.

thats why i wanted things out in the open sooner.

OP posts:
luvoneson · 26/05/2009 14:54

Dont bother with HR. All gets complicated. I think if you have an issue with someone at work then go straight to that person. Just remember dont be intimidated because he has the title of manager. Most managers/directors could'nt organise a p???up in a brewery.

Ivykaty44 · 26/05/2009 14:56

He shouldn't have spoken to you in front of other people, it is really not on and very out of order.

if he had done the right thing and taken you to a private area this could have all been talked about in one go out of ear shot from everyone and dealt with.

By talking in front of others he really left you in a difficult position and to then pull him aside at a relevant oppertunity was really his own fault for not seeing things through properly in the first place.

Perhpas just make a note of what happend today and why.

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