to feel pissy about having to spend so much on a friend's wedding?

[HangingOnTheTrubliphone]

Am bridesmaid to a dear friend - as she was for my wedding - although since my DS was born we aren't so close (she doesn't have children).

Anyway, she has booked us a hotel room at the venue for the night of the wedding, and has reserved us a room for the night before also. It's a really long drive so I guess we will have to stay somewhere the night before (2 nights away from DS will be the longest I've done so far) but the cost for two nights at the hotel will be £300! Friend said 'I know it's expensive but I only intend to get married once'. Fine, but £300 is nearly two months of nursery fees for me! Not to mention getting there and back (car hire, petrol), wedding present, buying my bridesmaid dress, hen weekend will cost over £100.

Argh, why do these things have to be so bloody pricey, and so rife with things you could end up falling out over?? It's a minefield

Oh, sorry, I missed the post that said it was in Skipton.

What is the D A?

Grassington is near Skipton and I have recommendations for lovely Grassy!

Oh, we were both wrong then, WJ

(Devonshire Arms at Bolton Abbey, Lola)

OMG, that place sucks cock. It's not shabby chic, it's just shabby. The village is absolutely stunning though as is the river right beside it.

I know of a B&B in Burnsall. I will find the website.

try these, HOTT?

p.s. it most definately is not worth the prices neither. I stayed here for a weekend a few years ago. The buildings are gorgeous and very full of character, but the rooms are (or were a few years ago) very much on a par with an expensive B&B, not a hotel as they are claiming, and the meals...i've had better in a cheap country pub. Have you read the reviews on tripadvisor?

here

Could you try the above B&B? Still in the village. Pics don't look like the Hilton, but for the price, as long as the room is clean, who cares?

I don't know how far Grassington would be but I remember it was a short bus ride away and there is some fantastic cheapy accommodation there.

Friend of mine got married recently and had hen weekend costing about £300 to stay in country cottage and do activities. I ended up going up for the Saturday to join in a bit but not staying overnight - was quite local so just drove up and back with another friend. I paid a smaller part of the cost. Is there some arrangement like that?

I didn't want to work Thurs, Fri and Mon and be away all weekend as well, plus altho i could afford at a push, I would rather spend that money on a family trip or weekend break with DH. Sorry if that's selfish - priorities change when kids are little.

Oh dear, I didn't realise it was quite that bad! That sounds much cheaper Lola. I'll see if they've got room.

It's a five hour drive so not feasible to do anything other than drive up the night before, really. Likewise, the hen weekend is 3 hours from home... booooo!!!!!

Lola is talking about the Devonshire Arms there I think, HOTT - not your Red Lion.

I'm afraid i'm talking about the Red Lion @ Burnsall.

It was certainly stayable and clean but the prices simply do not reflect what you are getting and the customer service was quite poor back then. Many of the staff are foreign, which is fine, no problem, but many have trouble understanding basic English.

I cant understand why, if an average room price is £150 why the bride hasnt negotiated a deal with the hotel, surely most folk will be staying, and almost taking over the hotel, its very common practice. I wouldnt expect to pay more than £75 a night.

Oh sorry, Lola - misunderstood (obv!)

A word of warning - we went to a wedding in Burnsall (near Skipton) a couple of years ago in June. We booked to a B&B in February for a the wedding in June. I tried 17 places before I found one with a room free on a summer saturday night. The landlords mostly answered the phone with "Is it a Red Lion wedding or a Bolton Abbey wedding"? We were on the verge of deciding to drive home that night (only about an hour, but we wanted to go out into the Dales the next day), when we got a cancellation. If you are going down the B&B route book asap!

My brother did this, at the insistence of his bridezilla, we went and it cost an arm and a leg.

Really resented it as we had a low key wedding and didn't really cost them anything other than petrol to the venue. They picked a mansion house in a different county to all friends/family because she liked the look of it - I mean WTF???

Its so rude, we spent £350 for ONE NIGHT!!!! I've had a weeks holiday for less than that before. So rude, wanted to stay in a B&B nearby but my Dad said that that would be bad form and brother would be offended...

Hope you sort something out HOTT, much better to spend the money on a family holiday and have some quality time together than on somebody elses big day.

Agree with all that's been said about alternative hotels, travelodge etc.

How about alternatives on the dress front? You said she's been very prescriptive. Is there a specific dress she wants you to get or a particular style, colour? Just trying to work out if there's room for manouevre (sp).

I also believe it's the bride's job to buy the BM dresses. I did for mine. The whole notion that you will wear it again is largely a myth. Tip: I got mine from a Monsoon discount store, where they quite often have nice evening/BM-suitable dresses, and they were 25.50 each I had one altered to fit one of the BMs properly and it was still a big saving.

Also, what's the actual plan for the hen night? Is there any opportunity for saving there - e.g. going for one night only if it's a weekend, or sleeping at someone else's house?

We went to BIL's wedding in a gorgeous country location but with expensive accommodation, they arranged for people to camp on the village green (they stayed in a luxury yurt ). We had friends nearby with a caravan who parked it up in a nearby campsite and we stayed there. It was brilliant! Have you got a tent??

Mmmm, The Red Lion. An interesting choice. Perhaps I've only seen it on 'off' days. . Not somewhere I'd want to cater for my wedding.

The location is fantastic though .

My wedding was in Scotland miles away for anyone but we rented the whole hotel for a weekend and put everyone up free of charge including all meals and drinks and creche for little ones on the wedding day. All in all we had about 50 people mostly family. Even then I felt a bit guilty about the travel costs so even paid for DH's sister who doesn't have much money.

'rude, wanted to stay in a B&B nearby but my Dad said that that would be bad form and brother would be offended...'

Then I'd have told them they could help pay towards the cost or be offended.

expat I just wasn't that brave!!!

I think my cousin's wedding reception was there a couple of years ago. It was gorgeous but I thought there were only a few rooms there - didn't see them but can't imagine them being worth the price.
We stayed at a travelodge nearby but it cost a horrendous amount for a taxi that night.