to think friend is making life unnecessarily hard on herself by never letting her dd, 2.5, watch TV, when she has a newborn as well?

[emkana]

Friend rang today, stressed, trying to get her 2.5 year old to have a midday rest looking at books by herself. I gently suggested TV but she didn't see that as an option, which made me feel a bit silly. I'm all for limiting TV but when I was in her situation the TV was a lifesaver! And it hasn't made my children into couch potatoes at all, now they are 7 and 5 (the older ones) they hardly watch TV at all, because they are able to do all sorts of other stuff.

her decision and so not your business

i have 6 month old and 18 month old and am adamant re my no tv rule. she was just having a bad day and just needs a friendly ear. i would not appreciate a friend telling me to put tv on. just want to hear "poor you tomorrow will be better".

I let my DD watch tv whenever she asks, but then she goes in the garden when she wants too and to playgroup and other trips when I want so I don't beat myself up about it. How about old black and white films? There's always a good one on at nap time and it's often less stimulating than CBeebies so will send kids off to sleep. If not then it's great for learning about history and general old fashionedness.

Again, I'm interested to see what people say. I have a DS (2.6) and DD (3mo). I was adamant that DS wouldn't watch TV when DD was born - only a couple of Thomas Tank Engine DVD episodes each day (5 mins each). In practice I have had to allow him to watch about 4 a day.

However I have also found a really good Cbeebies programme called Our Planet (a sort of Life on Earth for pre-schoolers) - and now have loads of these recorded. He now watches 3-4 Our Planets a day (10 mins each) instead of Thomas and I don't feel guilty at all as they are educational.

That said, my DD will happily go for a sleep and spend the first 10 - 20 mins "reading"

Don't worry too much - she asked a question and you made a suggestion. Your friend was free to tak or leave the advice. It isn't as if you marched into her house and dragged the child in front of the TV yourself.

I am interested in why people have a no tv rule. I am not really familiar with the anti tv arguments.

I know why no fruit shoots - hideous chemical ingredients plus a bit of aspartame thrown in for good measure -

but what is considered harmful re. tv?

I would never, ever use TV as a babysitter.

So said I before I had DS - what a hypocrite am I?!

So has anyone else stuck on a DVD to get a bit of peace and quiet, have a bath, etc. and been horrified to find it's got to the end and started again?

Twinkle you can use it as a babysitter?

If I did not let my DS watch tv I would never get anything done in the house. It doesn't clean itself. My tv is a god-send.

God yes. DH and I came home this evening to find DS asleep in front of the Wombles.

God yes. DH and I came home this evening to find DS asleep in front of the Wombles.

Admit that I was a bit anal about DD watching TV. I'd put on DVDs for her, but really, what's the difference between that and Cbeebies?

The thing I find slightly weird about it is that friend and her dh are TV journos and they do let their dd watch the news programme that they work on

I have a 3-week-old DS2 and 2.3yo DS1 and have so far managed without switching the TV on during the day (DS1 does get to watch half an hour or so before bedtime).

This is mainly for my own sanity -- if it's on at all during the day then DS1 will a) have a major tantrum if I switch it off and b) spend the next week or so stationed by the TV demanding Beebies constantly. I have found that it's actually easier to have a blanket ban on it during the day as it's easier than trying to explain to a stroppy toddler why he can't watch it all day.

Just thought of another factor.

Apparently children DDs age normally like to have a nap in the day.

DD doesn't

So I reckon I'm allowed a little leeway

Oh god, I sympathise. DS, who's now 2.9, has only started to reliably nap in the last few months. Even now he'll only do it for DH, hardly ever for me at weekends. And a tired toddler who doesn't want to do anything, and won't go to sleep, is a complete nightmare.

Actually DS hardly ever watches TV. But we have some DVDs and videos that he's allowed to watch when we have things we have to do. I need to know he's occupied when I can't be in the same room, because we're in the midst of DIY and our house is a death trap.

Apparently there is research to show that under twos should watch NO TV at all as it is bad for their brain development. Can't now remember who researched this, think he was American?

Something to do with rapidly changing images impacting on their concentration?

But all the people I know who say 'no TV' seem to allow DVDS, so what is the difference seeing Thomas et al on telly or on DVD??

I couldn't have parented without CBeebies.

No difference, it's just that 90% of CBeebies etc. is utter pants (not that Thomas is Shakespeare of course). At least with a DVD I know what he's watching and that he'll be occupied for more than 10 minutes.

I've heard of that research too and I think it entirely depends on the programme. DS is never ever allowed to watch crappy American or Japanese cartoons - that would harm brain development at any age I reckon.

Oh right. british cartoons are OK

I let my ds2 17 months watch cbeebies, infact ITNG as 64 zoo lane is a part of our night time ritual here. Sometimes have it on in the day depending on what else is happening. I do give a warning before i turn it off, yes he gets upset at times but he's upset if we have to stop something else he enjoys as well.

Nice ideals not to have tv at all but personally i think in moderation not harmful and calming.

Spero, I watched tv as a baby and so did my DS who is now eight. Nothing wrong with our brains, DONG!!!!!

What is there to be so anti TV? I have 6 dc all who have watched tv from young. They are all bright intelligent dc, who also play in the garden/with friends,and go on outings with us and have access to PC and have DS etc.
The TV is not evil or corrupt in itself, and when the dc are young, you can choose what they are allowed to watch. Neither do dc only need to watch educational programmes-why cant they watch it-many programmes on CBEEBIES-just for fun?
Of course it is a decision for individual parents whather to allow TV, but if you interact with your dc and do other things with them, then TV is in itself not harmful or corruptive.

At least I won't end up with a 3 year old taking in an American accent. The cartoons I mean are those really poor animations that pop up on the free kids channels. My rule is if I can't bear to sit through it once, let alone more than once, then DS doesn't watch it. Why all the btw?

So we have Paddington Bear, various Thomas DVDs which DS loves, The Wombles, The Fimbles (inherited, but not all that bad), Fireman Sam (pushing it now as I can't stand blardy Sara and James). Plus live action films like Flipper.

Well said Bigpants1