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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with childminder for giving DS ready made pasta?

1003 replies

Snippets · 15/05/2009 23:08

The freshly stuffed type you buy from M&S? We had an agreement that all meals would be freshly cooked. I take ages making each meal for him from scratch and have never given him pre-prepared or convenience food and bit annoyed she has.

OP posts:
nannynick · 16/05/2009 00:44

Snippets - firstly I feel it is rather misleading of you to call your nanny a Childminder. You have subsequently corrected that but I don't feel you should have used the wrong terminology to start with. There are many good nannies and childminders who post on Mumsnet and we don't want parents to get confused about the different types of childcare.
As a parent who employs a nanny, you have a lot of control over what that person does, whereas with a childminder, parents are using a service and thus have no control over how that service is run.

If your nanny is not following your instructions, then correct them (making it a written warning if you feel it warrants that level of disciplinary action). Employing staff is never easy, disciplining staff is hard but moaning on here won't get you very far I feel... you need to have a chat with your employee and sort out your expectations v what is happening day-to-day.

To answer your original question... Yes you are unreasonable (as a Childminder is a service provider, not an employee).

To answer your Revised Question... No you are not unreasonable - a nanny is expected to comply with your wishes as much as possible, given the circumstances at the time. Thus I do not feel it is unreasonable to expect your nanny to have cooked food from scratch, if that is what your prior agreement was.

As a nanny the vast majority of the food the children I care for eat, is cooked from scratch. However not all food is cooked from scratch... my employer does buy processed baby food (handy for when a toddler wants food NOW... not wanting to wait 20 minutes), also can be handy on outings, and also when a child is feeling unwell (toddlers seem to like going back to mushy food when they are feeling off-colour).
We also have food treats - a packet of crisps for example is a treat whilst out on an outing, or as part of a picnic.

Anyway starting to get away from the point perhaps. I feel that it is perfectly reasonable for you to be annoyed with your nanny (an employee) who has fed your child something which you have told them that they should not have. If however you have not told your nanny that such food is not acceptable, then while you can still be annoyed about it... you can't blame your employee for doing something that they were not aware was not permitted.

KingCanuteIAm · 16/05/2009 00:44

Oh, not interesting, will have to catch up with that one!

frAKKINPannikin · 16/05/2009 00:44

3k a month is more like 700/week. And anyway, OP said she made a type and it's actually 2k a month which is well in line with nanny salaries.

Besides which 3k is top-end, yes, but not entirely unheard of.

VeryCheekyMonkey · 16/05/2009 00:45

YOu lot are so funny sorry im new to this site and havent spent alot of time on chat rooms before, but this i definatly gonna be my new way to spend friday night! i gave my kids hunny sandwhiches for dinner tonight because its friday i am shattered couldnt be bothered to cook, they like them and its FRIDAY! am i a really bad mother or does everyone have days like this - except for snippy of course ! We are only human ! Weel except for old snippy here of course!
Oh and my kids eat a lot of good home cooked food and definatley the occ bit of junk( ok maybe not that occasional ) And neither of them are fat! everyone knows that a little bit of EVERYTHING is good for you even honey sandwiches . By the way what does YABU etc mean tlod you i wads new nice to meet you all x Oh and guess what snippy i took my mindee out for lunch today - we had mcdonalds - she is only 3 so i did draw the line at coke !

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 00:46

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tigerdriver · 16/05/2009 00:46

just off to check out your "disappointed" thread, shiney. back soon.

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 00:47

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frAKKINPannikin · 16/05/2009 00:47

*typO

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 00:48

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Pingpong · 16/05/2009 00:48

Verycheekymonkey YABU means you are being unreasonable

KingCanuteIAm · 16/05/2009 00:48

Monkey, YABU/YANBU = you are being unreasonable/you are not being unreasonable. Welcome

Shiney, I will. Where do you find all these victims potentially nice men? I have been searching for years and not found a one worth even a punt, never mind actually getting emotional about!

KingCanuteIAm · 16/05/2009 00:49

Shiney - you sane? Well perhaps in your own delusional universe

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 00:51

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KingCanuteIAm · 16/05/2009 00:51

Monkey, there is all sorts of useful stuff here including the acronym list

KingCanuteIAm · 16/05/2009 00:52

Hmm, maybe I should try leaving the virtual world and joining the actual one?

Tis a bit scary though - and expensive

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 00:53

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RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 00:54

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KingCanuteIAm · 16/05/2009 00:57

Yes I know all about the addiction!

I am quite sane too, I jsut try to hide it

Yes, hte school thread was quite od, as soon as I said I was off the whole thread seemed to go - even the op signed off, I do think I was almost singlehandedly continuing that one - in future I may try shutting up more and see if the annoying threads just go away

nannynick · 16/05/2009 00:59

Welcome Very Cheeky Monkey - do check out the Childminders, Nannies, Au Pairs section ... lots of tips there for childcare providers of all types, plus for parents as well

shineoncrazydiamond - glad you liked it I don't venture on AIBU board that much but couldn't resist on this occasion.

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 00:59

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RumourOfAHurricane · 16/05/2009 01:01

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VeryCheekyMonkey · 16/05/2009 01:01

Thanks everyone!

Shiney I never knew there was such a thing ? i wanna be like you when i grow up And definatly YABU snippey, nanny or not- marks pasta is fresh pasta!

tigerdriver · 16/05/2009 01:02

oh, shiney - how did you not stuff car park man into a shopping trolley and drag him along behind your car for a few miles?

Idiot.

There is definitely a man in shineying armour there for you somewhere - you've kissed too many frogs to date, m'dear.

and remember, if you ever want another virtual date being stood up in public, your Cotswold correspondent will be willing and able to watch the action from the sidelines and report back.

Sorry OP, if you've gone to sleep under your bridge you may not have realised that your thread has been hijacked.

nannynick · 16/05/2009 01:03

Me too... not working tomorrow, so don't have to go to bed early. Got home from 'working' to see this thread, so just couldn't resist posting.

Good luck meeting a man who is 'normal'. I doubt I fit that category, given that 'normal' men probably don't post on Mumsnet

MillyR · 16/05/2009 01:04

Shine on

To come back to your question of 20 mins earlier. We have had no trouble from rats or foxes yet. A lot of people locally go out and shoot the foxes, so the population tends to be quite small. We are very fastidious about locking the chickens up at night to prevent foxes and have specialised food containers which are removed at night so as not to encourage rats. We do have a crow problem though.

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