Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Honest opinions please.

66 replies

blondie80 · 15/05/2009 22:24

my dd who is 9 has decided for the last month or so that she is now a lesbian. i know she doesn't understand the real in's and out's and i'm fine with whatever.

i think the idea has come from hollyoaks.

she told two of her friends in school this and the teacher overheard. my dd was given lines and told not to repeat the 'L' word again as it is 'not a nice thing to say'.

i don't know if i should complain or write or what to do, i do think the teacher is very out of order, what do you think?

OP posts:
Alambil · 15/05/2009 22:26

er yeah - that's homophobia and will be in the anti-bullying policy for kids so should (and will) apply to staff too

KnickKnack · 15/05/2009 22:27

teacher was completely out of order

2shoes · 15/05/2009 22:28

yanbu

MillyR · 15/05/2009 22:29

You should inform the head teacher.

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/05/2009 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Doodle2U · 15/05/2009 22:30

Lines? How odd.

Talk to the teacher, face to face.

Spero · 15/05/2009 22:30

I think you should definitely put your concerns in writing. Sounds like the teacher is way out of her depth and this could be harmful in all sorts of ways.

Original poster
blondie80 · 15/05/2009 22:30

Thanks, i think i will go give her a good slap too.

have had to reassure dd that the 'L' word isn't bad, she really though she had done something bad.

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 15/05/2009 22:30

There are quite a few issues there!

At nine I think she is probably saying it to sound/feel cool. I would have thought if she genuinely felt that way she would be much more reticent/shy

I dont watch hollyoaks but I have the impression that most of the content is not aimed at children........

I definately think her teacher is out of order for saying what he/she did

A few thoughts really! I would have a chat with her about it over the weekend and probably talk to the teacher on Monday

FairMidden · 15/05/2009 22:30

I find that absolutely shocking, actually. That teacher should be pulled up, and quickly.

I might be tempted to phone the head first and tell them to expect the complaint in writing thereafter. Such attitudes should not go unchallenged, especially from someone in such a position of influence and responsibility.

SmellySmellster · 15/05/2009 22:30

mad

ronshar · 15/05/2009 22:30

I would write to the teacher and include the Headteacher. That is so wrong of the teacher to make your daughter feel that she is doing something wrong.
So what if she is a lesbian.

diedandgonetodevon · 15/05/2009 22:31

I would speak to the teacher.
Your daughter may or may not be going through a phase but IMO it is unacceptable for a teacher to say that.
Since when was 'lesbian' a 'bad word'?!

frAKKINPannikin · 15/05/2009 22:31

YANBU - explain to the teacher your daughter's sexual orientation is her choice, you find her attitude homophobic and you will be taking this to the SMT.

CarGirl · 15/05/2009 22:33

I would ensure that the teacher had not misheard and thought your dd was referring to someone else being a lesbian as a bad thing IYSWIM. Just before you rush in all guns blazing!

MillyR · 15/05/2009 22:33

This is a homophobic incident and if you report it, the school has to record it and has to inform the Local Authority. It is the law.

Original poster
blondie80 · 15/05/2009 22:36

I think it is probably just a phase, she doesn't really know very much about that sort of stuff.

there probably is some stuff in hollyoaks that is aimed at older people, but it's on at 6.30pm.

i actually have a letter from the teacher to me about the incident, i think she has dug herself a big hole writing it to me.

def going to complain, monday morning, headtacher.

OP posts:
themoon66 · 15/05/2009 22:38

Inform the head. Write a letter. Do what YOU feel is right.

I had a very similar situation with DD when she was about 9 and I did nothing.... I regret it to this day and DD is now 22.

frAKKINPannikin · 15/05/2009 22:38

But why to not repeat the word lesbian, CarGirl?

I can understand the teacher misunderstanding that the OPs DD calling someone else a lesbian is not nice but it should have been handled more sensitively - "lesbianism is a perfectly valid sexual orientation, it should not be used as an insult and please don't do it again" would have been much better

CarGirl · 15/05/2009 22:40

Yes I agree frakkin the incidence needs sorting either way.

Although now I read the teacher has written about the incident sounds like she is in deep trouble.

pinkstarfish · 15/05/2009 22:42

YANBU, sounds like the teacher belongs in 1950s

MillyR · 15/05/2009 22:43

I doubt she is in deep trouble! The school staff probably just need an hour or so of training on changes in the law.

GrimmaTheNome · 15/05/2009 22:44

The teacher wrote to you about the incident?. So it wasn't just a moments misjudgement based on some prudish embarrassment.

Good luck...not a problem I'm likely to encounter in the near future as DDs lovely teacher is a lesbian, brings her partner to school events, it is so not a problem for anyone of course. I mention this only as yardstick how far out of line your DDs teacher is.

TheCrackFox · 15/05/2009 22:44

Quite a lot of the girls in DS1s class (7yrs) are saying they are lesbians. What is lovely is that the teacher and all the children are so matter of fact about it. Gives me hope for the future.

Regarding the OP, I would complain as it is homophobic.

frAKKINPannikin · 15/05/2009 22:49

Oh my goodness, she wrote to you about it?!

As in "I'm concerned X is a lesbian and feel you should know" sort of way? I'm guessing it wasn't a grovelling "I handled it badly" letter.

Swipe left for the next trending thread