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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Honest opinions please.

66 replies

blondie80 · 15/05/2009 22:24

my dd who is 9 has decided for the last month or so that she is now a lesbian. i know she doesn't understand the real in's and out's and i'm fine with whatever.

i think the idea has come from hollyoaks.

she told two of her friends in school this and the teacher overheard. my dd was given lines and told not to repeat the 'L' word again as it is 'not a nice thing to say'.

i don't know if i should complain or write or what to do, i do think the teacher is very out of order, what do you think?

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 15/05/2009 22:50

Im at the lines, I didnt notice that before! and the letter to you as well. So you now have documented evidence of her opinion............. eek how unprofessional of her/him

frAKKINPannikin · 15/05/2009 22:51

TheCrackFox that is lovely!

And blondie80 - well done to you for being so calm and supportive of your DD.

And now I'm going to go and calm down somewhere, possibly with mint tea and a chocolate biscuit or six.

NeedCoffee · 15/05/2009 22:54

yanbu
Am interested as to what lines she had to write? 'I am not/will not be/will not say i am a lesbian'?

evaangel2 · 15/05/2009 22:58

tbh why did the teacher not approach you first before she made this a taboo subject with your child?, dont get me wrong this is homophobic

chegirl · 15/05/2009 22:58

Good lord

I know its all been said but bloody hell!

She told your daughter that it was a bad word, made her do lines AND wrote to you about it?

Fricken hell.

What sort of response did she expect from the letter? Does she think you will be beside yourself with shame and thank her for coming down so hard on your devient child?

It doesnt matter if this is a fantasy, phase or the real thing. This woman should not be making these judgements about sexuality. How crap.

I am sorry this is still going on.

RumourOfAHurricane · 15/05/2009 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

katiestar · 16/05/2009 01:46

What does the letter actually say Blondie ? Very strange !

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 16/05/2009 02:01

Yes what does the letter say? Because it needs to be ascertained whether the teacher thinks she is is punishing your daughter for
a) using the word lesbian as an insult to someone else
b) claiming to be a lesbian
c) being a lesbian
d) having any kind of awareness of her sexual orientation when she is 'just a child and shouldn't be aware that she even has a fanjo at her age'

Mind you, if your DD is saying she's a lesbian because she thinks it's cool to be one, that's pretty cool in itself. If the whole class thinks that being a lesbian is 'cool' then that's going to be a school with little or no homophobic bullying going on...

Eve4Walle · 16/05/2009 08:01

Definitely write to the head about this, but why do you let her watch Hollyoaks? It's definitely not appropriate for 9 year olds, despite it being on at 6pm or whatever.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 16/05/2009 08:10

What did the letter say? This teacher deserves to have her arse slapped big time for this.

junglist1 · 16/05/2009 13:24

This is why, whatever PC guidelines are put in place and new laws are made, that prejudice is still so commonplace.Because of people who are supposed to know better teaching children their own bigoted views. Complain (big time).

Overmydeadbody · 16/05/2009 13:27

yanbu

The teacher should not have reacted like that, regardless of whether or not your DD is serious.

I would go and have a word with her tbh. Lesbian is not a dirty word.

ruddynorah · 16/05/2009 13:29

i would write to the head asking that the teacher writes lines for you..

'i must not project my homophobic views on my pupils..'

3000 should do.

Overmydeadbody · 16/05/2009 13:30

I agree with solidgold

tattifer · 16/05/2009 13:39

Teacher is way out of order. And in fact is risking her career being discriminatory. You should report it to the head and ofsted.

tattifer · 16/05/2009 13:41

If she continues in promulgating her opinions about lesbians it might even warrant coming under the auspices of hate crime.

pooka · 16/05/2009 13:44

Definitely approach the head teacher.

But also stop the Hollyoaks - it's completely inappropriate viewing for a 9 year old IMO.

wotulookinat · 16/05/2009 13:44

YANBU. Tattifer is exactly right. What if a child was telling her friends that her mum was a lesbian? That teacher would have basically been telling the child that her mum was evil. Shocking. Do please get in touch with the school.

Lizzylou · 16/05/2009 13:58

Compalin, complain complain, school has acted really badly in this.

But please, stop her watching Hollyoaks it is so inappropriate for a 9yr old, no matter what time it is on.

CrushWithEyeliner · 16/05/2009 14:02

What did the letter say? What a perplexing situation. Teacher sounds nutty.

Agree with stopping her watching Hollyoaks she is really too young.

TrillianAstra · 16/05/2009 14:05

Yes what did the letter actually say? AS Solid says, we needto know if this is a not-ver-well-handled case of 'don't use lesbian as an insult', if it is actually homophobic, or if any reference to sexuality is not allowed.

alicet · 16/05/2009 14:37

pmsl at ruddynorah

Nothing to add here apart from I completely agree that you should complain to the school and if you get no joy there to ofsted.

I too am curious to know what the letter said and what lines your dd had to write

atworknotworking · 16/05/2009 14:57

not nice feel sorry for your dd, i wonder what the teacher would have done if one of her pupils was talking about one of their parents being gay / lesbian, would teacher have given a punishment then as well .

Good that you have a letter to back up your info, i would definately speak to the headteacher, imo teacher handled the situation very badly, in fact it doesnt sound like it was a situation maybee she's a closet lesbian .

Wouldn't be to concerned with dd saying she is a lesbian, i think most girls at this age say stuff like this because they are starting to grow / develop and notice boys which are very yucky to kiss at this age , I would be concerned though if she is being influenced by content of a tv show, I find a lot of shows at the moment and soaps have quite a grown up content and I don't let my DD (nearly 9 ) watch stuff like this for that reason.

Good luck on Monday let us all know how it's going.

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/05/2009 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

staylucky · 18/05/2009 21:41

I'm dying to know too

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