to be dismayed, annoyed and disturbed that DD1 (who is 10) thinks that "men are brighter and more able than women."

[MrsSchadenfreude]

I have been applying for jobs recently, and had an interview last week for one in a very, very niche field, which does not attract many women. I said over dinner to DH "I bet it goes to a man, probably someone ex military."

DD then chipped in "Well it wouldn't be surprising, really, as men are brighter and more able than women."

I asked her what she meant by this, and she said "Well, women can be nurses, but only men can be doctors, and women can be teaching assistants, and teachers, but not headteachers because only men can be headteachers."

I pointed out that her best friend's mother is a surgeon, and that the new head at her school is a woman, but she just said that the head teacher is only really a teacher, and she didn't know her friend's mother was a doctor.

What is going on in her mind, and where does she get these ideas from? Not from me, that's for sure - I work, I have a career, I'm the breadwinner (but she wouldn't know this), so it's not like she doesn't have role models.

I despair, I really do.

That is odd, and I can see why you're bothered. Can you try to talk to her and find out where this is coming from? "brighter and more able" is an odd turn of phrase, and makes me wonder if she's repeating something she's heard. Either that or she lives in 1952.

On the plus side, she can rarely have been ill if she's never come across female doctors!

I used to say things to irritate my very liberal parents, that is exactly the sort of thing I might have said to my mum as a child, is it possible she is just rebelling a bit because she knows you would be wound up b that opinion?

Yes, Shineon - she said because they always have the important jobs and women are just mummies or have little jobs.

The "head teacher" is only really a teacher? How odd.

Habbibu - we've only just celebrated the first year of her life that she has managed to avoid hospital, so she has certainly seen lots of doctors, male and female. I asked her about this and she said she thought the women were the nurses, not the doctors!

She is absolutely not a rebel, either - too eager to please, if anything.

It's from the boys in her class. We have had this. There isn't usually enough girls in the class who care enough to shout them down. At this age there are cliques of girls who care for nothing except hair, makeup and boys' attention so we need to do the reinforcing at home!

Right - disproof thread starts here - CERN physicist and women nobel laureates.

Oh, gosh - well, hurray for her getting better, anyway. It's quite sad that she thinks like that, but there's lots of time to get her to realise her own true potential and that of her sex.

Elling - that's a good point. She is on a table of 6 at school, all boys except for her and an airhead girl who is obsessed with her looks. Maybe it comes from these boys then?

Oh dear. You need to tell your DD that whoever gave her that impression was/were wrong, very wrong. If she is an intelligent 10 year old then IMO it's not too young to chat about how women were and still are perceived in the past and how much it has changed, nowadays and in this society. Nothing heavy and be gentle but keep reinforcing it.

did you read her too much Topsy & Tim when she was little?

hopefully used2bthin has the answer

thread on feminist texts for infants and mothers!.

This book might help a little

here

and it will make her smile.

Well at least she's exploring these ideas out loud so you can talk about them. I'm sure your reaction spoke volumes, however controlled you tried to be about it.

"brighter and more able" sounds like something she's heard somewhere.

great links Habbibu and Tealady

Mary, yes, I am sure you're right!!

And yes, great links!

'Brighter and more able' does sound like something she's heard from somewhere but don't tarnish those boys -well not without evidence anyway.

I have two boys and a girl and would be equally horrified if any of them grew up with such a view. Mothers of boys don't happily promote sexist views.

MrsSchadenfreude - I am genuinley shocked your DD has come to this conclusion in this day and age (not a criticism of her or you). I suggest your DH takes her aside on her own and talk to her at length to reinforce the message you have given her.

My DW always took a huge comfort from her Dad throughout her childhood and teenage years because he drummed it into her "you can do anything a man can do and better than him if you put your mind to it".

Having your DH as a man who DD respects and loves also tell her she is as good as any man will help to counter any negative comments she has heard at school.

DiamondHead - agreed. As parents of boys we strongly impress on our DSs that girls deserve respect and equal and fair treatment. We DSs to a school which is 95% girls and only 5% boys which also reinforces the message.