Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"

[StripeyOss]

Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!

For me, its the choice of two incidents.

1. Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!

2. Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to

I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....

The day my new kitten had huge diarrhoea all over my bed was fairly traumatic.

Also the time that I was out walking, in the early evening, and a HUGE SLUG somehow made its way inside my sandal and I squashed it all over the insole, and then had to walk back home in said sandal

Also the day the cat's infected ear exploded pus all over me...

We used to let a neighbours cat into our house as it would just cry outside otherwise. One morning I let it in and went upstairs to get up and dressed. It came wandering upstairs and I stroked it and ran my hand down its tail and thought it felt a bit wet so I smelt my hand and it was cat poo - very very runny cat poo. I went tearing downstairs to find the biggest runniest pile of cat poo on our (luckily laminate) kitchen floor. DP kicked it out and I had to run up the shop for some nasty artificial air freshner as we'd not smelt anything that bad ever. Poor DP had to stay at home and mop it up, I came back to find he had a tea towel tied around his mouth and nose to stop him being sick from the smell!

Then there was the time when me and my sister went to stay with my aunt and uncle. They live in a really old barn converstion, prime breeding place for nasty spiders. I was sharing a bed with my sister when I woke up in the night thinking a spider had just walked over my face but then reasoned that it was probably a feather from the duvet that had touched me...that was until we got up and from underneath my sister appeared a very flat spider! I don't know who was more traumatised, her or me!

Only yesterday I trod on a delightful mixture of cat vomit and chewed mouse. The poor thing was in three bits but what was the final straw was the intact little face staring up out of the sick.

I jetsprayed it off the path before DS1 would see it later. That's a dead cert nightmare for a 4yo.

I walked in on my friends dad sitting on toilet when I was 11. Could never look at him again.

Why oh why oh why would anybody have a bathroom with no lock on it???

Also my step dad's mum used to come at christmas and sit with her knees wide apart, a deeply troubling sight.

DP has a great one about the day his nan and grandad let themselves in through his dad's front door to find his bare bum banging into his grilfriend on the stairs!

Mine is probably the time I didn't lock the portaloo door properly at a Shakespeare in the Park festival I went to and a whole queue of people saw me sat on the toilet with my pants round my ankles.

I was eating my favourite crusty bread with the lovely burnt bits on the top one day whilst my cat sat on my lap. When he got off I was cleaning up the flaky bits of bread by putting them in my mouth and I put a flaky bit of cat shit of cat's bottom in my mouth by mistake (obviously!). Had to eat half a bar of soap to get rid of the taste.

Woke one morning to find my foot lying in something odd - it was cat poo !

Was getting friendly with a guy in his car when another car pulled up bumper to bumper with his lights on and a torch at the window threatening to kill us if we didnt get off his property - he then starts driving his car at us!

dp mother who is 50 showing me pictures of her in bikini bottoms two sizes to small with fat bulging out the sides and top while topless on a beach in Spain. The best part being my dp a horrified teenager sat behind trying to avert his eyes. I still wind him up about this

My [then] toddler DS1 presenting my prime snotty cow SIL with a small gift. Shame it happened to be a pile of fossilised dog poo he had found behind the sofa.

prim, PRIM FFS

All these stories about spiders have traumatised me now. I've been terrified of the beasties since one fell on my head as a child.

Seeing my FIL wearing nothing but a pair of green wellies.

Yup - a thread killer for sure

Lifting my gorgeous baby into the air and gazing at him with love and wonder - only to have him puke into my open mouth!!

Finding a tube of KY Jelly under my dad's pillow when I was about 14. It took me a while to realise what it was for, but when I did ...

Aak I have a spider one too - was lying in bed and I felt something running along my body and down my leg... after a certain amount of screeching and a very undignified leap out of bed I saw that it was a huge black spider. Eurch.

Oh, and there's the time my DF put a daddy-long-legs in my bed when I was little, for a joke, and I sat on it... I'm still scared of them now

We found a baby bird in our garden in a bucket of water that seemed to be half drowned. Feeling sorry for it we took it in, put it in a box and looked after it in a cupboard away from our cats until it was better. It soon became apparent that it could not fly but obviously not apparent enough to DP who declared one morning that he had put the bird out the night before to fly away. I went out in the garden to find it and was greeted by my cat with a wing hanging out of her mouth. She then dropped the wing, came up to me and threw up baby bird entrails all over my new slippers. . Boak at the intact mouse head amongst the sick!

Oh and one more is our disgusting dog used to eat cat shit out of the cat litter at every opportunity he got. One day (luckily I was out) he threw up cat shit all over the sofa. Imagine - sick that is also shit DP had to deal with that little mess and was retchig for days

MummyDragon My mum and dad used to have a copy of The Joy of Sex in the same drawer as the family photos.

EEEW at the thought of them "doing it", but it was surprisingly useful info for a 14 year old if you ignore the beard.

Finding just the tiny feet and beak of a bird behind our sofa with our cat grinning manically at me.

Walking into my 16 year old brothers room expecting to find only his girlfriend there, he was supposed to be sleeping on the sofa, not coming up from under the bedclothes licking his lips (boak)

Watching helplessly as a 1 year old nappyless lo did a small round poo and ever so gracefully scooped it up and popped it into her mouth.

Roffle at all of these.

< tries to think of one of her own >

Makeda - "the cat with its head stuck in the bannisters, and my dad, stark naked, trying to pull it out. " - that's what he told you

SEX
DEATH
POO
VOMIT

That about summarises so far ....

My Mum once had a crane fly/daddy long legs fall off the ceiling into her minge when she was in the bath.

Given that the legs of one of those insects do not look unlike public hair she had a hell of a time trying to rescue it. She said she felt like Mrs Slocombe: "Oooh, mah pussy went wild!!"

Sadly, the poor thing did not survive the experience.