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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I tell my boyfriend the real reason I don't want a baby with him?

89 replies

merryalice · 11/05/2009 14:56

I have been with my boyfriend six years and he tries to encourage me to have his baby. He has no children, I have one. I have told him I do not want to start again having kids at my age - 40 - when I already have a teenage girl.
However, I am not adverse to the idea in itself, but I don't want a baby with him.
There is one simple reason - I don't want a ginger haired kid and I don't want a boy.
The chances of having a boy would be high - he is one of three brothers, his brothers have boys. They are all ginger. My boyfriend is the best looking of the brothers, the others are quite neanderthal looking although intelligent. Their kids are real odd looking and I just don't want to run the risk of having a kid who looks like them.
Should I tell him this? I have already said that if he really wants to have children he needs to think about moving on from our relationship.
Plus the thought of being tied to my boyfriend in this way for life is not what I want. I think I have had too good an example set with my girl, she is beautiful and intelligent and my relationship with her father is a great friendship which I will keep for life and I am pleased with it all as a whole. I also worry about not being able to love a new child as much as my girl -so perhaps the ginger thing is an excuse?
Any thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
Ineedmorechocolatenow · 11/05/2009 17:11

This is hilarious..... a joke right? No?

Then you should not have any more children with anyone.... imagine they ended up with your personality..... ....

Ripeberry · 11/05/2009 17:17

This is a wind up! Op is being racist! Gingers are lovely and i've met quite a few.
Back to your cave, troll!

SemperEadem · 11/05/2009 17:30

Shes having a laugh! You have posted this for a ruccus to start - yes?

I think ginger hair is lovely - why would you not want to have a baby because he/she would be ginger .

So many people would love a baby irrespective of lots of eventualities fgs. Ginger hair is NOT a concern.

Crikey.... I fell for it there didn't I?

Off with you, troll

dizietsma · 11/05/2009 17:34

Good god. What a horrible person you are. Tell him the truth and let him have oodles of beautiful red haired boys with someone who isn't as bloody shallow as you!

Poor man.

BonsoirAnna · 11/05/2009 17:37

Just tell your BF that you will never want to have a child with him. You don't have to tell him why, but you do have to be prepared for him to leave you and/or look for another woman who would like to have a child with him.

Biglips · 11/05/2009 17:40

troll troll troll troll troll

FabulousBakerGirl · 11/05/2009 18:18

why do you want a boy?

Are you worried he will get with someone as vile as you?

Phoenix4725 · 11/05/2009 18:22

ginger and proud if you dont want him send him here would love a little ginger nut sincen one of my dc seem to took my colouring .

guess you must have something going for you can not think what though

cory · 11/05/2009 23:22

How surprised will you be when I tell you this is the first post by this troll poster?

thumbwitch · 11/05/2009 23:25

away with you, you gingerist!
I bet you have dyed your hair red at some point in your life, haven't you?
PAH!

BitOfFun · 11/05/2009 23:33

Maybe you'll have a girl? I've got a female gingernut of catholic descent (!) on my profile who I defy you to be rude about...although you might not have my genes, I grant you

skramble · 11/05/2009 23:49

Oh I love a bit of ginger, always had a bit of a thing for ginger men, even whats his name on the Bill, you know in CID, you know back when it was about the job and not about them all shagging each other.

I am lucky to have a ginger haired BF and I would have a baby but I have 2 already and he has 3, so enough is enough already.

My thoughts...silly cow

GivePeasAChance · 11/05/2009 23:57

I think you really should tell him, and exactly as you have written it down here: Neanderthal nephews and all. I am sure he will understand

Let us know how you get on?

skramble · 11/05/2009 23:57

Send him my way, oh yes!! .

thumbwitch · 12/05/2009 00:07

BitofFun your DD is lovely!

BitOfFun · 12/05/2009 00:26

Aww, your little boy is scrummy too!

thumbwitch · 12/05/2009 00:34
  • thank you! DH was concerned he might be ginger as well, tbh, because I am and so is MIL; but as yet DS is pretty much blond, and is likely to go dark like his dadady!
stagefright · 12/05/2009 01:04

Why are insults ok against gingers? Even as a joke? It's not ok to do it against black/asian/disabled etc (and rightly so) by hey no problem for discrimination against red heads. And tbh if

DH was concerned he might be ginger as well, tbh, because I am and so is MIL<
(wich is our situation) I would not be with him
what a w*nker

gigglewitch · 12/05/2009 01:09

am pmsl @ all this thread.
thank you - you have cheered me up no end

thumbwitch · 12/05/2009 12:13

stagefright - I take deep offence at your comment. My DH is not a wanker at all. He has concerns because we will be moving to Australia and the climate is not ideal for redheads. How very rude of you.

spinspinsugar · 12/05/2009 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyR · 12/05/2009 15:04

The thing is MerryAlice, love is blind, and no more so than when looking at our own children. You only think your daughter is beautiful and intelligent. Everyone else is probably whispering 'Oh dear, what a shame'.

TiggyR · 12/05/2009 15:06

This is her one and only post on MN by the way, so if anyone was in any doubt, you can sleep easy.

ChubbyMinge · 12/05/2009 15:09

Not one person fell for this

Seriously, how thick do you think mumsnetters are

There are plenty of other sites where you can ply your trade

I hear netmums are recruiting

LouLovesAeroplaneJelly · 12/05/2009 15:15

Well if anyone needs a red head fix to get over the post...
improveverywhere.com/2007/07/24/redheads/

Swipe left for the next trending thread