Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I tell my boyfriend the real reason I don't want a baby with him?

89 replies

merryalice · 11/05/2009 14:56

I have been with my boyfriend six years and he tries to encourage me to have his baby. He has no children, I have one. I have told him I do not want to start again having kids at my age - 40 - when I already have a teenage girl.
However, I am not adverse to the idea in itself, but I don't want a baby with him.
There is one simple reason - I don't want a ginger haired kid and I don't want a boy.
The chances of having a boy would be high - he is one of three brothers, his brothers have boys. They are all ginger. My boyfriend is the best looking of the brothers, the others are quite neanderthal looking although intelligent. Their kids are real odd looking and I just don't want to run the risk of having a kid who looks like them.
Should I tell him this? I have already said that if he really wants to have children he needs to think about moving on from our relationship.
Plus the thought of being tied to my boyfriend in this way for life is not what I want. I think I have had too good an example set with my girl, she is beautiful and intelligent and my relationship with her father is a great friendship which I will keep for life and I am pleased with it all as a whole. I also worry about not being able to love a new child as much as my girl -so perhaps the ginger thing is an excuse?
Any thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
BigBellasBeerBelly · 11/05/2009 15:27

Yet again namebacon has hit the nail on the head with an honest, caring and carefully phrased post.

namebacon · 11/05/2009 15:29

If you could only see me now - I am howling with laughter at my own joke

BigBellasBeerBelly · 11/05/2009 15:33

I keep getting visions in my head of OPs fella trying to "encourage" her to have children with him.

Images of ginger men waggling their meat n 2 veg in a tempting fashion keep flitting through my brain.

Sbeanmum · 11/05/2009 15:33

Oh get a grip, this has to be a joke.

No-one is that stupid - and I mean your boyfriend, not you.... if, after 6 years, he's not worked out that he doesn't have to swim in the shallow end of the gene pool, then his only option must surely be lobotomy.

LouLovesAeroplaneJelly · 11/05/2009 15:34

I wonder if this would have been deleted if the OP had said she didn't want a black, chinese, jewish child?? And yes I am a ginge and proud of it!

Quattrocento · 11/05/2009 15:35

LOL

Do you have to close your eyes at crucial moments to avoid seeing any ginger bits?

Jofo · 11/05/2009 15:36

We are not the greatest looking couple in the world (and both have dark hair) but by some miracle have managed to produce the most beautiful ginger haired boy.

This man deserves someone much better than you, so, please tell him and let him see you for who you are. Hopefully he will find someone who wants his child with no conditions attached.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 11/05/2009 15:37

Excellent point louloves.

Apart from the jewish part, maybe.

namebacon · 11/05/2009 15:37

On mumsnet it's OK to insult gingers and catholics but everyone else is taboo. Thems the rules.

pinkstarfish · 11/05/2009 15:37

You shouldn't have children. Period.

sophieandbelly · 11/05/2009 15:37

well arnt u a nice woman!! if u do have a child with this poor man, lets hope it gets his personality! u obiously dont love him at all, but r prob with him cos lets face it doesnt seem as tho someone with a cracking personality would find it easy to get a replacement.

whats with not wanting a boy?? i take it u no thats a 50/50 chance. lets hope ur ginger man finds a nice loving girlfriend to give him the chance to b a dad.

loopylil · 11/05/2009 15:38

insulting your boyfriend his family their innocent kids and ginger haired people all in one hit nice i bet there is a picture of you aging in an attic somewhere all ugly and twisted like dorian gray..... tell him and reveal your true colours i dare you.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 11/05/2009 15:38

people are allowed to have catholic babies?????

FabulousBakerGirl · 11/05/2009 15:39

What is worse - the fact this is real or the fact someone is being an idiot.

I think you should leave him. He is clearly too good for you.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 11/05/2009 15:39

loopy I suspect her true colours are ginger and she is in denial!

Tamarto · 11/05/2009 15:40

If i thought it was worth the energy i'd post a suitable reply here, but as i think you are trolling a shalln't so there.

StayFrosty · 11/05/2009 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clayre · 11/05/2009 15:46

words fail me, if this is a joke it is a bloody bad one, i have a ds who is proper ginger and he is sooo cute, my dd is also ginger!

sobanoodle · 11/05/2009 15:52

Merryalice I take it study leave has started at your school ? How many GCSE's are you at home not revising for then ?

Lizzylou · 11/05/2009 15:54

OP, don't sweat it, GCSE's are really easy nowadays, drink a bottle of thunderbirds down the park or something.

oldspotraver · 11/05/2009 15:57

Than God you've given up breeding

MummyDragon · 11/05/2009 17:01

Thank goodness you have only had one child; who wants future generations to be brought up with your nasty prejudices?

Mamazon · 11/05/2009 17:04

really? is this is what troll school is kicking out nowdays?

come on. please try harder. a troll is meant to have at least the majority of piosters going for a little while.

now go back and start again.

themildmanneredjanitor · 11/05/2009 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeaver · 11/05/2009 17:09

No no no no no no no no no

That's not the way to do it. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's just insulting.

Back to troll school with you.