in being a bit miffed when i post a long and personal post .....

[Mamazon]

and then MNHQ come along and delete it.

It took me ages to type it all out in a non emotional way and to try and put across my point whilst giving my own backgrund and grounds for my opinion.

it wasn't the most pleasant thing to do but i thought it may have been of benefit to the OP.

just gone and seen that its been deleted.

AIBU to be a bit gutted that i wasted the enegery. i wish if a thread got deleted it still showed up for a short time in our Threads im on. at leastthat way we could save the messages somewhere.

oh yes will answer now, BC.

Well you know I love you, but for god's sake don't phone me while I'm salivating over Gene Hunt at nine (watch it, it will do you good!)

Where, when.

I was planning to watch that documentary about children in care, will help my mood no end

BoF text me when it's alright for you to tslk, might be better.

Have texted and voicemailed you...get thee to BBC1 at nine and cheer yourself up- I can't think of anything worse than children being failed by the care system for giving you an almighty crash and you need that like a hole in the head.

DWP, I hope you are ok and that you are able to find the strength you need to make things right

I heard that Gene Hunt is gay.... < runs >

Just dropping in to send some more support your way DWP.

Noooooooooo! Not as much as Brad Pitt...

DWP, another lurker here. I've always been impressed by your posts. You are funny, caring and very very cool. You can get through this.

Your dh/exdh knows this and needs to steal your confidence because he has none of his own. Men like this never do. Big love to you.

just kiddin' ya BOF

I know- I'm sure Brad will be free for you soon

DWP - had no idea that things were so bad for you, I tended only to see you on threads where you made me laugh

You come across as a lovely person, I hope that everything works out well. best of luck. x

Sorry to read this thread TDWP. Hope you manage to sort things out.

Can i just intereject that the training i have done on this issue is QUITE emphatic that anyone offering support to someone facing abuse shoudl never tell them to "leave now" or " what are you waiting for"
because if( as htey invariably dont) leave then the victim will feel that they have burned their bridges advice wise adn will not approach the same person again as " they didnt do what they were told to do"

its a long old process.

Wise words Bernardscat.

TDWP, hope that you are OK, I agree with the other posters who said that you come across as such a confident and strong person. Hope that things work out for you.

Thanks Bernardscat.

I emailed him this morning and have asked him to come and collect all of his things, he hasn't yet replied. I'm seeing my best friend this afternoon and will try to be honest with her (which will be hard).

I'm actually thinking I might go away for a bit, stay with my mum, my friend in Glasgow, maybe at Bitoffun's (if she'll have me hehe). I think I need to get away from everything for a bit, it always helps me focus my feelings.

Oh and thanks too Lizzylou, I know I am, most of the time. I infuriate myself with how I'm handling this I really do.

i thought he had goone ages agO?

Always welcome here darling < hides vodka >

Sounds like a good idea

He did, but he still has a wardrobe full of clothes, books, paintings, all sorts.

TDWP, you are not at fault here. Not at all.
You have nothing to feel bad/guilty about. You are only human, you gave him another chance and he has blown it big time.

Look after yourself and stop blooming blaming yourself and feeling ashamed!

yes yes wasnt meanign to imply that at all

ehy in the end you will act when it feels right and as far as stress management is concerned that is best for you. Obviously have kids makes life more compliacted but dont take on too much then crumble

You obviously have a big bond there and a huge attraction- you married him and had kids! Of course it's going to be hard to let go. This has got to be a Head decision though, and it's always hard if your Heart hasn't caught up yet. You know you need to stay away from him though or let me kill him , and you'll get there.

DWP - I've been talking to an MNer who you talked to last year, when you were both in similar situations. She'd posted about counselling and you phoned her - does this ring any bells?

Anyway, she'd like to talk to you again, and maybe see if she can be the empathic ear... I think maybe she could also use an understanding ear. Would you mail me and I can pass on your/her details? thedreadpirateofmn at googlemail dot com.

I hope you work it all out with regard to your XP. He doesn't deserve you or the children, but you know that. I've also heard that it can take 8 'leavings' before an abused spouse is gone for good, so for heaven's sake don't beat yourself up over this - that's what he's done and that's why you're working on getting away...

xxx