Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For considering bribing the butler?

25 replies

ShootingTheBreeze · 08/05/2009 19:20

DH likes his coffee strong with two sugars.

Our butler is new with us and his old employer liked his coffee strong with one sugar.

So he keeps getting DH's coffee wrong.

DH has a bit of a temper, especially when it comes to his coffee and although he's tried to remain calm, he has been getting frustrated with the butlers inability to make his coffee right.

So after he'd been told three times in one day to add TWO sugars, he brought up yet another coffee with one sugar.

DH hit the roof and threw a bourbon in his face. The butler dropped the drinks tray accidently in the process and the coffee spilt all over our new white carpet.

DH stood up and ripped off his shirt in rage before spitting in the butlers face

The butler is now planning to take DH to court for assault

I'm considering paying him £500 to let it go. Should I offer more?

OP posts:
FabulousBakerGirl · 08/05/2009 19:21

clearly

1/10

foxinsocks · 08/05/2009 19:21

give him £1000 and a blow job and you're sorted

Original poster
ShootingTheBreeze · 08/05/2009 19:23

DH was against the blow job idea but said I could add a packet of bourbon biscuits to the deal if I so wished.

OP posts:
MissSunny · 08/05/2009 19:24

Message withdrawn

LynetteScavo · 08/05/2009 19:25

I'm presuming the butler is no longer in your emplyment. I think £10,000 would be a more appropriate amount.

Actually, I'm quite at £500, adn I think your (ex?) butler would be too.

sagacious · 08/05/2009 19:26

£500 is a pittance

Have you no shame woman?

And your dh is a knob

kickassangel · 08/05/2009 19:33

why is your butler making the coffee? don't you have a kitchen maid for that? and a waiting maid t bring it to the drawing room?

sorry, but butlers doing menial jobs & white carpet (where is your axminster?) just smacks of nouveaus riche to me. you're not related to 'pricess' fergie are you? she had no class either.

get yourselves on a proper etiquette course before you embarrass yourselves further. doesn't dh know to use a horsewhip to sort out the servants?

Podrick · 08/05/2009 19:37

Are you the queen or princesspeahead?

StealthPolarPig · 08/05/2009 19:38

This is obviously a wind up and I know why
The butler was making your DH a coffee...your DH threw his whiskey in the butler's face...
so he already had a drink!
Ha, caught you out!

StealthPolarPig · 08/05/2009 19:39
Wink
earlyriser · 08/05/2009 19:42

Oh I thought the bourbon was a biscuit

screamingabdab · 08/05/2009 19:42

Did DH go green at the same time as ripping off his shirt ?

MANATEEequineOHARA · 08/05/2009 19:43

YABU, you have not taken into consideration the fact that the Butler is of a lower class and cannot be expected to remember everything! Does he go home to a council estate??? pity emotion

bustylarue · 08/05/2009 19:45

I believe your butler to be an imposter. Putting sugar in coffee indeed! He'll be serving breakfast next.

LynetteScavo · 08/05/2009 19:48

But surely the butler should be serving the coffee with milk and sugar to be added by your husband?

Sounds a tad common to serve up a coffee "ready made" TBH. Next you'll be telling us it's instant.

screamingabdab · 08/05/2009 19:50

Also, people of class don't have 2 sugars in their coffee. Commoners, like scaffolders, have 2 sugars

MollieO · 08/05/2009 19:58

Two questions.

Firstly was it a single malt whisky the butler spilled? If so I wouldn't be concerned. No court in the land would find in favour of him.

Secondly what on earth is the butler doing making coffee? You will have a revolt on your hands if you don't give that job back to the housekeeper or preferably her maid (not sure if the credit crunch has affected your employment of staff).

Good luck and hope that your dh's tailors is able to supply some new non-ripped shirts soon.

YouLukaAmazing · 08/05/2009 20:01

Message withdrawn

georgimama · 08/05/2009 20:06

why is your butler making coffee when he should be brushing the billiard table? Hang your heads in shame for the professional embarrassement you have caused this poor man.

acebaby · 08/05/2009 20:16

lol I thought of bourbon biscuits too. For such a travesty I would be tempted to fling a jammy dodger

is this a book/film reference?

MollieO · 08/05/2009 20:22

Just read the OP again. Your butler was serving bourbon? Is he foreign? No excuse even so.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 08/05/2009 20:24

Is your DH the incredible hulk?

sobloodystupid · 08/05/2009 20:30

tut tut. Your dh likes his coffee the same way as my window cleaner, how liberated of him! But I am missing something, did the butler serve white sugar? That would be a serious mistake indeed.
Simply push the butler through the hidden door in the study when you summon him "to discuss the matter".
Incidentally, my dh was ingratiating himself with the lower classes (actually talked directly to one of them!) at Gieves & Hawkes, who said that unfortunately both the shirt ripping and insubordination are becoming quite common now. (DH now firmly believes that the lower orders are revolting).

StealthPolarPig · 08/05/2009 22:44

very good point, unless he is american he has no excuse for not serving the finest single malt

screamingabdab · 09/05/2009 09:18

No, i think it was a bourbon biscuit he threw, not Bourbon , as earlyriser said.

A wafer would have hurt less

New posts on this thread. Refresh page