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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

being fed up of seeing kids out shopping with active chicken pox?

152 replies

jellybeans · 08/05/2009 15:22

Hi I have a nearly 6 month old DS and 4 older kids. The older ones all had CP and when they were infectious I kept them in unless I had to go out and then I was careful to keep them away from people. However, the last two days i have seen kids in Tesco shopping and in Boots with full CP (ie not scabbed up). I would much rather DS was at least 1 when he gets it, also worry about the newborns and elderly getting it. AIBU to think people should keep their infectious kids at home?

OP posts:
melrose · 11/05/2009 11:50

If your kids are at nursery and school it is virtually impossible to avoid. It has been going round our nursery on and off since Christmas and DS2 finally succumbed at Easter.

Have to say I was relived he finally got it! We went away to the Peak District for 3 days on a planned holiday with family and, although I took him for a couple of walks I did not take him anywhere inside and would not have dreamed of doing so.

It is so sad to read of a child dying from complications, but this is very rare. Complications can arise from lots of illnesses.

Podrick · 11/05/2009 19:09

My mum deliberately took us to play with kids with chickenpox so we didn't become the pregnant woman who has never had it.

I think this was a good plan.

IamAlsoADreamerOfChocolate · 11/05/2009 21:49

I was out in a well known shop today and there was a litle baby screaming and crying and covered in spots and the mum just kept trying on shoes and then I heard her saying later that she was [the baby] was miserable cos she was so bad with chickenpox she was on antibiotics.
I just could not beleive that she was out shoe shopping
And I kept seeing her later around the shopping centre.

nappyaddict · 12/05/2009 00:33

Generally I don't think people should go out whilst it is infectious but when I had it I had to go to the doctors because I was pregnant who then gave me a presciption which I had to take into Boots and I also had to go into the bank (no hole in the wall) to get some money to pay for some other medicines and the prescription.

Those of you who say you had to go to the shops and couldn't use internet shopping because you don't have a debit or credit card don't you have anyone you could ask if you could use theirs and then pay them back?

Would it be ok to take an infectious child with CP to a park as long as it was empty?

fabvab · 12/05/2009 12:11

My two yr old has just had cp. The doctor told me they are infectious upto 2 weeks before the spots appear and cannot return to nursery/go out until 5 days after the first spot appeared. After seeing the doc, I had to race into Tesco to get the essentials as I had been away, my little one had long sleeve top on and I tried to avoid as many people as possible. I also had to take him out to collect my 6yr old from school. However to get around this I told her I would be late and to stay with the teacher, that way I was able to avoid most of the mums with babies etc. I agree that any ill child should stay at home but sometimes when you have nobody else to turn to, what can u do. If there is a fairy god-mother out there, can I please have her details?

turtle23 · 12/05/2009 12:21

Any of you know the answer to this: I am 11 weeks pg and DS hasn't had CP yet. DH saw an old friend and their kids last week, the little boy gave him a huge hug and kiss and we found out that the next morning he woke up with shingles. What chance is there that DH (who has had CP) could have brought it home? Sorry for being so thick...

FrankMustard · 12/05/2009 12:27

you develop shingles from having had chicken pox, but you can't "catch" shingles as it's a re-activation of the cp virus. You can get CP from someone with shingles if you've not had chicken pox before but if dh has already had cp, then you should be fine....
check with your gp if at all concerned or if you've not had cp.
If I were you, if you've had cp yourself, I'd rather ds got it now before your baby is born as you wouldn't want ds to have it when you have a newborn as their immunity not as able to cope as older child so it could be more dangerous for them to get cp when newborn.
My ds got cp when I was pregnant with ds3 but I was relieved as it meant I didn't have to worry about him getting it and passing it to newborn ds.

FrankMustard · 12/05/2009 12:29

OP - YANBU at all. I wouldn't want to see child with fullblown cp out in a supermarket. That said, ds 4 currently has it and I have no choice but to take him out on the school run for my other boys but I don't take him anywhere public like shops or confined spaces and we steer well clear of others and I'm keeping him in pushchair so he can't mingle with other children/pregnant women/newborns etc. Luckily his friends have it as well so we're able to get out of the house and visit each other's houses all spotty together!

MissSunny · 12/05/2009 13:03

Message withdrawn

niche · 12/05/2009 13:16

I have 5 young dcs (6-1yr) and we're going through cp now. Two have recently recovered but youngest now has it and 2 more to go.

DS1 already missed a week of school and dd1 had to miss nursery as I wasn't taking ds1 to school (at same place) but with others still to go there is a limit to how much time they can miss because of being quarantined.

I don't have anyone else who would do the school or nursery run and I don't have anyone who could watch whichever one is down with it so I have no choice but to take them with me. It's not ideal and I feel very very uncomfortable about it, we're on our 5th wk now (thankfully two of the weeks were school holidays and they missed one school week, bank holiday etc) but don't really feel I have much choice.

mamadiva · 12/05/2009 13:17

I was just about to say the same thing Littlelamb, my DS gets those too as well as his eczema and I am sick of people just looking at him and me with disgust.

When DS did have chicken pox I don't drive so had to take him to docs in pram and then over to Tesco, so he was sat happily in trolley and some woman started shouting how wrong and disgusting it was. He was perfectly happy no itching nothing just spots and he was feeling generally fine.

Maybe next time it would be best to leave us to starve for a week on the off chance that sopmeone might catch it

Think before you say it may not even be pox!

niche · 12/05/2009 13:19

oops just to add to OP yanbu, I avoid shops and people in general if I have any of the poorly dcs with me. Luckily baby is in sling and has no access to anyone unless they touch him so unlikely to harm anyone.

InternationalFlight · 12/05/2009 13:30

Mamadiva, couldn't you have done an online shop? Tbh I find that attitude quite alarming.

nappyaddict · 12/05/2009 14:19

Frank Is he strapped in the buggy or just sitting in it iykwim? Do you put the raincover on aswell? I have a feeling DS may be coming down with it and will have to take him to the doctors and shops to get anything he needs if he does.

ForeverOptimistic · 12/05/2009 14:24

Ds went out when he had chicken pox. He even went swimming in a pool on holiday! In my defence I had no idea he had CP.

escondida · 12/05/2009 14:27

Maybe mamadiva can't get a credit card. Many people can't (bad credit history, whatever).
Also, you can't plan for when CP breaks out, or even how many days it will be before all the spots crust over. And you can't know who is brewing it and already contagious without you knowing. So anybody could be caught out badly needing food in the house and having no one else to get it for them.

Does Boots do same day deliveries for an affordable price? Because if somebody wants Piriton syrup for a child who broke out today in spots, that's what they'll need. Otherwise, it means a trip to the pharmacy yourself, in many cases with a contagious child in tow.

I was same as you, mamadiva. No one else to take dc to or from school when other dc were contagious. And it felt pretty silly to shun the school playground, considering school is where the cp came from for us, anyway.

FIL currently has shingles. So he is very contagious with varicella. Because of other health problems he will probably continue to have shingles for the rest of his life (next 6-15 months). Should he stay in quarantine for all the rest of his days?

FrankMustard · 12/05/2009 14:37

nappyaddict yes I strap him in the buggy but keep him right out of the way of everyone and went with my other boys to get them in their class lines, leaving ds4 in care of a friend.
I suppose the raincover would be added protection but it's boiling hot and sunny today and we were well away from everyone outside, so they're no more likely to get anything from him as from anyone else about
I wouldn't take him into a shop or even to the main shopping street for a walk either - mostly to avoid people looking at me disapprovingly in case they thought I was going to go into shops with a poxy child!
Mind you, ds3 had marks from his cp spots for about 3 weeks after he was infectious and I still got a lot of dirty looks from people and found myself explaining that he wasn't infectious anymore but it had left marks etc -shouldn't have to explain myself but felt I had to given the looks and tuts I was getting!

Original poster
jellybeans · 12/05/2009 14:47

I totally understand that some people may need to go out get things etc but the people I saw were not containing their kids close to them and were in no hurry at all. If I HAD to go out I would be very careful. I went in Boots again yesterday and saw another CP'd kid!!! I did my about turn again in the other direction. There was a newborn baby and a pg woman in the shop too. Alot of people don't give a toss who catches it it seems. (Not saying people on this threa, just the ones I have run into recently).

A 'friend' of mine used to turn up to come to my house for the kids to play and say..'by the way he has croup' or 'by the way he has a terrible cold/bug' without telling me first, I would never ever take my kids round to someone if they were infectious/ill unless the person OK'd it first! I think some people are just different on this issue.

OP posts:
Ninjacat · 12/05/2009 14:57

Have just had this conversation with NHS direct as DS's step sister has chicken pox and DS is due to visit and I'm 12wks pg.

CP is contagious from two days before spots appear until the last spot scabs up (usually about five days after they appear)

You are usually immune if you have had it previously but NOT ALWAYS

The chances of CP causing fetal disformity are 200 to 1 in first trimester,
50 to 1 in second trimester
then pretty much 0 after that.

Think I will keep DS at home to be on safe side

nappyaddict · 12/05/2009 15:04

Can you only do online shopping with a credit card or can you use a debit card aswell?

mamadiva · 12/05/2009 15:40

I do online shopping with my debit card nappy is very handy but at the time we were strapped for cash and needed the money for food rather than the £5 delivery charge.

I've had CP twice. Just to be clear the day I took DS to Tesco was the day we had to go to the doctors to see what was wrong with him (PFB and all and we were not sure if his skin had just broke out again because that needs steroid creams) so would have been out otherwise.

Sorry if that alarms you but we don't all have others who can look after our kids for us and sometimes you just have to at the end of the day.

nappyaddict · 12/05/2009 15:54

Oh do you have to pay for delivery? I probably won't bother giving it a try then. I know ASDA do free delivery over a certain amount but they don't deliver to our area.

shhhh · 12/05/2009 19:27

Jellybeans I know what you mean about "friends being their sick kids around to play".

A friend of ours is the same,would turn up here having not mentioned it before that her ds was ill will one thing or another..

Yeah, sure lo's need to build up their immune system BUT i'm not partial to sick kids....

Dh made me laugh last week when we found out ds has Chicken pox..."Oh why not pay a certain friend a visit" was his suggestion .
Oh the shame of it...............!

Original poster
jellybeans · 12/05/2009 19:53

shhhh I like your DH's suggestion!!

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 12/05/2009 21:21

it's a good idea to have the medicines that will help with cp in your medicine cabinet anyway (Piriton - for allergic reactions, stings etc, calamine for itchy skin, rashes - although I found bicarb and oats in the bath more soothing when dd's had cp, Calpol for fever), then if lo's get it, at least people wouldn't have to rush to Boots for medicines.

As for other supplies, I think Tescos can deliver later on the same day.

I always offer to drop stuff round to people when i hear their lo's have cp, for this very reason, it makes me sad to think other people don't offer.

As has been mentioned earlier on the thread, there are people for whom catching cp can be very serious, it's not just about spreading it around other kids (and it can be v serious for some kids too), so people should really make every effort to stay away from people.

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