Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

being fed up of seeing kids out shopping with active chicken pox?

152 replies

jellybeans · 08/05/2009 15:22

Hi I have a nearly 6 month old DS and 4 older kids. The older ones all had CP and when they were infectious I kept them in unless I had to go out and then I was careful to keep them away from people. However, the last two days i have seen kids in Tesco shopping and in Boots with full CP (ie not scabbed up). I would much rather DS was at least 1 when he gets it, also worry about the newborns and elderly getting it. AIBU to think people should keep their infectious kids at home?

OP posts:
MollieO · 09/05/2009 21:57

When ds had chicken pox he was ill for 6 weeks and ended up on antivirals and two lots of antibiotics (for related infections). Compromised immune system and he was very poorly (almost hospitalised). The likely culprit who passed it to him had 2 spots I tried to count the number of spots ds had and I gave up at 100 (that was just his face). Obviously he didn't go anywhere but his friend never stopped going out as his mother didn't realise he actually had CP - found out on routine trip to the doctor's.

MollieO · 09/05/2009 21:58

Should add that according to ds's nursery head (and probably an old wives tale but it seemed to ring true in our case) if you catch CP from someone who has had a mild dose you will get it very badly and v.v.

BottySpottom · 09/05/2009 23:30

YANBU. My Ds had chicken pox whilst I was having a miscarriage. I was really upset and frustrated that I couldn't get out to shops for some distraction. I ended up walking down isolated country lanes instead.

chegirl · 09/05/2009 23:40

I have seen this debate online several times. I have been astounded at the amount of people who think its pefectly fine to take their infectious kids out.

Even when the dangers are explained to them their attitude is 'well we cant stop going out just incase we meet someone who is ill' and 'if you have a vunerable child you shouldnt take them out'. And my favourite is from those who are clearly computor literate and have easy access to the internet but the concept of internet shopping has passed them by 'well how am I supposed to buy food if i dont go to the supermarket?'

Sorry about your MC BS

bigbluewhale · 09/05/2009 23:41

Many years ago I was helping out at a church kids camp. As the children were getting settled into their dorms one little girl came up and presented me with a bottle of calamine lotion and told me 'my mummy says this has to go on my spots' - She was covered in the pox and had been sent to spend the weekend with about 40 other kids! Unbelievable!

muggglewump · 09/05/2009 23:44

I had to as I'm a lone parent and the only people I could have asked to watch DD had kids of their own who hadn't had it.
I had no net for onlne shopping back then and come to think of it Asda didn't deliver then anyway.

I didn't feel good about it but had no choice.

DoNotAnnoy · 09/05/2009 23:50

My mum (yes I am ashamed to say) actually sent my brother to school knowing he had chicken pox. He was in reception and it was the day of his first nativity play which she obviously didn't want him to miss. She actually went to teh trouble of puttig make-up on his (facial) spots so no-one would notice.

kidowner · 10/05/2009 00:51

I actually want my ds to catch cp as I heard it's better earlier than later.

I heard it was going around his pre school and I got him to hold hands with a girl who had it but unfortunately he didn't get it.

We mums were all excited to hear a child was contagious (for the above reason), so are we hopelessly ignorant?

DoNotAnnoy · 10/05/2009 08:09

Yup - Chicken pox can have severe side effects in people of all ages. It is not just a few spots.

Also - thinking holding hands was the way to catch to catch it is the same as thinking that holding hands will get you pregnant. It is an infection which is transmitted by coughing and sneezing (and breathing in virus particals)

kidowner · 10/05/2009 08:19

Well short of getting the girl to slobber over him will have to wait for him to get it naturally then.

But surely getting it earlier rather than later or not at all is best?

It would be difficult to catch it from a poxy child in Tesco's then, unless the air is polluted all round that child from a cough or sneeze?

Would a surgical mask over the mouth be a good option then for those mothers who have no choice but to bring their poxy dc with them shopping, on school run etc?

Frazby · 10/05/2009 10:41

My DS got chicken pox at 8months 2 weeks before christmas from his cousins. (aged 1 and 3) We went away with them and didn't know the oldest had it until the last day when he was spotty! They were in very close contact(chewing same toys etc)10days later and after a week of grumps out popped the spots! So the thing is people are infectious four days before hand and until the spots scab over (or for about 5 days) was what I was told. It wasn't fun but its better to get it younger than older. His friend of the same age got it at 6months and DS didn't get it then so I think you need prolonged contact too. Round here EVERYONE has had it so its very hard to avoid. I think not going out just in case is probably a waste of time as long as you aren't hugging everyone you see etc! Plus lets face it most of us have had it already need to get it or aren't going to.

spicemonster · 10/05/2009 11:00

Of course it's good to get it out the way early and if I knew someone who had it now, I'd try and expose my DS. He's currently in good health and I can take some time off work if I need to.

But not everyone is able to cope with it. It can kill a pregnant woman or leave her baby with severe birth defects. It can kill people with suppressed immune systems. I wouldn't want any of that on my conscience for the sake of my own convenience and I'm quite shocked that some people would.

Original poster
jellybeans · 10/05/2009 11:12

kidowner I would rather wait till DS has had all his jabs etc and is a toddler. My other DS had CP in his genitals/eyes etc, horrendous. Don't fancy my baby getting it yet, he has severe reflux already and has enough pain with that! I think anyone with an infectious disease should stay home! If you need to do the school run maybe use a raincover on the buggy or keep back from people. Or even (I plan to do this if DS gets it and I don't have a car/help at the time) take the non CP older child to school abit early or late (with school consent) to avoid pregnant women etc.

Alot of times, kids are running about in the shop and are often curious at baby's in buggies, hence my about turn in Boots the other day when a CP'd child came running toward me and DS while the mum bought lotion.
In a tesco trolley, the ailses are very thin when crowded and what about the people working on tills? Someone on this thread has already sadly had 2 m/c due to this

I can totally understand someone who HAS to pop out but there are ways to do it discreetly/carefully without infecting all on sundry and just going about as usual without any concern at all for others.

A CM the other week at school had a mindee with slapped cheek who looked very ill. He was in a buggy and she had pulled his hat halfway down his face. DS was really tiny then and I was abit peeved that she was stood right amongst babies etc as usual. Surely, she could have stood abit away from others or even better sent the child home to it's parents!!!

OP posts:
tiggerlovestobounce · 10/05/2009 11:25

When children with slapped cheek develop the rash it means that they are no longer infectious, so it wouldnt have been a risk to any of the people around the child.

glasjam · 10/05/2009 12:01

I wish I'd been exposed to it earlier as a child. Getting it as an adult is no picnic and I know of someone who had to be put in a medically induced coma when they got it seriously as an adult - they made a full recovery but it was touch and go for a while.

I don't think there is anything wrong with deliberately exposing your child to another child with chicken pox IF your child is otherwise healthy and is not too young. BUT that has to be your choice and under your control.

Inflicting your infectious child onto an unknowing public is I believe irresponsible. I have to say though I looked dreadful for weeks after I was no longer infectious and did get looks off people like I had the plague. I suppose some children might look like they were still infectious when the danger had passed - it depends how deep and bad their pox was.

I would still be hesitant about vaccinating a healthy child against it though. Vaccines wear off and that would increase the chance of a lot more people getting it in later life.

stitchtime · 10/05/2009 14:37

mollie, my beautiful dd has five spots around her left eye from the chicken pox she contracted four years ago, aged two. they still ahvent gone, and are like little craters. i doubt they will go now. at themoment she still calls them beauty spots, but i am worried about what she will think about themwhenshe is 14.

PM73 · 10/05/2009 15:59

My ds caught it back in Nov & he got it quite badly,he has a small scar just under his chin from one of the spots.

We stayed in till he was clear of spots,took about 12 days i think.I remember dressing him in the morning & he was fine,then i was getting him ready for his bath that same night & his chest was covered!!

Not sure if this is true or not but someone once told me that if lo's catch it too young they can catch it again as it will only be a mild case.

Luckily for me dh works shifts so he could go out for shopping & calamine lotion supplies.Oh & a tip i found great for anyone who does catch it,bicarb of soda in the bath water really cools the itch down.

Silvey · 10/05/2009 18:57

I would like to know how other people's Nursery Schools react when one sibling has picked up CP from the Nursery which has a current outbreak of CP - the other two children (who haven't had CP) are fine but are not allowed to attend. Why? I don't see the logic in this ruling. Can anyone explain. Would be glad to hear from anyone in a similar position.

tiggerlovestobounce · 10/05/2009 19:01

The nursery that my DDs go to doesnt exclude children just because they have an infected sibling. If they have chicken pox they have to stay off, but not just because they are exposed, as it isnt definite that they aill get it anyway. My DD2 got chicken pox, and DD3 didnt catch it, despite obviously having been exposed to it.

Silvey · 10/05/2009 19:15

Thanks TLTB - We don't want to be unreasonable but I have to help my daughter as she has to work and the prospect of 1 feeling under the weather and the other two climbing the walls because we can't go out is daunting to say the least! Being able to have 2 who show no signs of CP taken to Nursery would be a blessing.

tiggerlovestobounce · 10/05/2009 19:21

That seems quite illogical to me. Are they going to also exclude all the children in the same room as the affected child? Because all those children will have been exposed too.

puddytats · 10/05/2009 19:52

Ds has an allergy that produces chicken pox like spots. He is not contigious as it is an allergy He has them so often that we would be forever housebound While i agree you are nbu regarding chicken pox, you abu assuming that it is always chicken pox.

shhhh · 10/05/2009 20:02

YANBU, ds has cp atm. Started on thursday...BUT thing is I may be one that has added to it spreading to others without being aware...

I tok ds to the docs on thurs am, doc said he was fine although I did point out a "spot" on his lip. She suggested it may be start of a virus and nothing more to be done...

anyway..I went shopping with ds. I knew he wasn't right as for the last 2 weeks he's been...hard work.

I went to put him down for a nap at lunch and it was then when I noticed the spots..Managed to get him back to the gp after his nap...only for them to diagnose CP..

So I do feel slightly bad that he was out even with the start of CP...

BUT since its been diagnosed I have taken ds nowhere. I sat at home with him and dd while dh worked away and today once dh back I have done shifts with dh and both done errands with dd iykimw...

Lie others have said, I agree its not only awful passing it on knowingly BUT also awful for the poor child who is ill...who wants to go shopping when feeling shit..?

nix72 · 10/05/2009 20:17

Chickenpox is really dangerous for some people. My daughter died aged 3 from Chickenpox pneumonitis (chickenpox in her lungs). She had cerebral palsy so was compromised, but the doctors who treated her said that any healthy child can also develop this rare complication. I don't think it is morally right to knowingly take an infectious child out in public, as you cannot know who they may come in to contact with and how risky it is. I know my case is rare but we had to switch off our daughters life support because she succumbed to this infection. If we had been living in USA she would have been vaccinated. Please don't take the risk, stay at home.

bringonthesummer · 10/05/2009 20:45

But cp is also contagious at least 2 days before spots come out so unless you can see into the future how do you know that your dcs are contagious .....Sorry I can see both sides to the argument but the reality is some people may not know their children have it or have no choice but to go out . My dc currently has cp and it is very very mild , hardly any spots and could be missdiagnoised.