To think that schools might anticipate that some parents might actually have a life ?

[rookiemater]

I have just been notified about DSs preschool place, so far so good. However the rest of it has riled me terribly.

I received the letter today 1st of May. It states " We would appreciate it if you could let us know if you wish to take this place as soon as possible. If we have not heard from you by Friday 8th May we will offer the place to another child"

Is it just me or is that ridiculous that you have one week to get back or your child loses their place. What happens if you are on holiday ?

Then the next bit " We will be holding an Open day on Friday 12th June 9.45 am - 10.45am. On this morning staff will inform you of your child's start date."

Normally I would be working, but we actually happen to be away that week so cannot physically be there. No other alternatives are offered or what to do if unable to be there, which I'm sure I can't be the only one.

Now granted I'm a bit wound up by other things at the minute, but if this is the shape of things to come then I'm not looking forward to it. Is it just me or is this all a bit like I should be sitting there waiting for this and free to respond and attend at the drop of a hat ?

Oh my goodness am just back from weekend away, am immensely impressed this thread is still going.

I have posted the acceptance slip for the preschool place, twas too terrified in case I missed the date otherwise and of course I will be ringing the school to arrange an alternative arrangement.

It's not to do with interrupting working life, it is to do with making reasonable assumptions.

I put DS down for his preschool place over a year ago as I am organised. If I had happened to be on holiday or away for 5 days ( 3 of which happen to be a bank holiday weekend) I would have lost that place. Does that seem just to you ?

Regarding the appointment. Had we not been on holiday I would have put in for a half day or used up some extra hours worked so I could attend, the ridiculous thing is I want to be there, I would like to see the other children and teachers, it is just that it is not possible because we aren't in the same country.

Anyway thanks for everyone with worrying tales of what is to come ! I have no intention of spending my evenings sewing up chicken costumes or whatever so they will have to get used to a grumpy rookie mum.

It's nothing to do with schools being nothing more than an inconvience in my working life! I have to work because we have to live and pay bills. The problem is that schools seem to make so many demands on children and their parents nowadays - far more than they did when I was at school in the 70's and 80's when far fewer parents worked.

These endless demands (some of which are frankly ridiculous) on parents time, and the endless (or so it seems) closures are not in keeping with society today, where both parents working is the norm rather than the exception. Although I appreciate it's not essential to attend concerts and the like, it's nice for your child, who has worked really hard on preparing, to look out into the crowd and see their parent/s.

Rookie I completely agree that the timescale you were given for the return of the acceptance letter was ridiculous. Surely a minimum of at least 14 days should have been allowed.

And imagine the thread "AIBU to be outraged that my child's infant's school has decided to stage the Nativity Play at 7.30 so that parents who work long hours can get there? My child is usually in bed by 7, and will find it very hard to enjoy taking part in the play so long after his bed time"

I can also imagine the thread "AIBU to be outraged because my child never does any fun things at school because the parents can't be bothered to make an effort".

There have been threads, Seeker, where people refuse to let their DC take part in a school production because it is past their bedtime-you can't please everyone.

DD's class staged a play that reflected their project work at 7.30pm. It was absolutely the best turnout I've ever seen - parents were able to get home, fed, small ones to bed and then out again.

No, you can't please everyone, but you can try and please as many as possible by remembering a)that the vast majority of both parents work and b)that the vast majority of parents don't even have enough annual leave entitlement to cover the 86 days school holidays, let alone take half days here, there and everywhere for school concerts, sports days, project exhibitions, meetings etc etc etc.

Had exactly the same problem with my DS1 starting pre-school at the local primary school. Sounds like the same school. I couldn't make the daytime slot as I was working and suggested to the school secretary that maybe Fridays would be better for daytime visits etc as if a parent workds part-time its usually Fridays they don't work. The response was that they'd never had any complaints so there was no problem.

Since then this year had day or 2 notice for everything. Had a classic where each child took home Paddington Bear for the night, wrote in a book what they did with him and put photos in the book by the next day's session. Omigod the stress of getting photos printed in the morning to stick in the book for the afternoon nursery session. Of course this all happened on the day I was working.

I do believe schools could be better organised with informing parents, I assume the teachers know when inset days, school plays, parents events etc are going to be so why don't they just tell the parents at the beginning of the term.

I have this problem as a teacher and a parent.

I can not see my childs concerts, plays etc if im at work because im teaching other peoples children. I organise childcare until 8pm on parents evenings and still get parents coming late and expecting appointments at 8.15pm.

I rang a mum at work the other day as her daughter was absent from school and she didn't want to be rang at work! but her 12 year old daughter was skiving and she needed to know, she could've been anywhere!

I agree with Primaries doling out jobs left right and centre at a moments notice, god knows why? As a secondary teacher I can just about convince parents to help with their childs costume or rops (school show) and I give about 2 months notice and constant reminders!

But overall I agree that schools, not bog standard teachers we're as fed up with senior management as anyone,think that parents will do all the afforementioned and things like parenting classes, information evenings, showcase evenings when really everyones too tired, stressed, busy to do it all, bring back the 1970's I hear teachers even had work free lunch hours and everything then!

I hae always been very very content to do much less than other mothers as I've worked full time over the 24 years I've been a parent. Very happy never to have made a school costume and in private schools I think parents are expected to do less as you're paying the school. They tend to do it reasonably too - things in day time for tiny children whereas lates school concert is an evening as the children are older now.

I have missed a few parents' evenings - I just write in the notebook the reason eg I was in Iran on business on one of them and either we arrange I go in another day or we communicate any issues another way. SPorts day eg is a Saturday now for these 10 year olds which will be easier for parents. My children's father is a teacher in private schools and I've therefore seen all this from both sides.

To be honest I have never experienced half the problems listed here.

I have always worked full-time, and to be honest very rarely picked dd up from school, however in all Sophia's schools have been easily contactable (left a message with reception, the teachers call me back when it's convenient to them). They have also had a choice of appointments for parents evening, either in the day or some at night.

All her schools have used the communicating in the home-school diary system, as well, which helps with planning and finding out what's going on.

There have been a few incidents of last minute things cropping up which I didn't know about, but hey ho that's just normal life anyway, isn't it? I have rustled up a fair few crappy= costumes over the years, it's not a problem. Have never baked cakes as life is simply too short, if they need items to sell at short notice they get shop cakes - like it or lump it. TBH I am not going to get upset if some teachers get snitty that they're not homemade!

The teachers are not there to do things for the convenience for the parents, they are there to teach. (am not a teacher by the way

And

Not read all the responses so sorry if this is a repeat.

The next thing is being badgered about helping at the school fete. I do and I am on Saturday but we have had another letter asking for us to do more time slots otherwise the fetewill be cancelled. For some people who perhaps work at the weekend or have younger children, it is not always feasible/possible to help at these things.